Lather, rinse, repeat. What used to be three words at the back of a shampoo
bottle has become descriptive of day-to-day life in lockdown. Some of my clients compared it to living in the 1993 movie “Groundhog Day” where everyday seems to just go on a loop. Have we all just succumbed to living the life of a hamster on its wheel? Tired yet spinning, nonetheless?
Earlier this month, the New York Times released an article providing us a name for what we are collectively feeling. Adam Grant, an organization psychologist and author of the said article, revealed the word that perfectly encapsulated our “blah’s”, “meh’s” and “oof’s”: Languishing. Languishing is the uncomfortable in between, the waiting room in a dentist’s clinic, the pause before announcing the winner to your favorite reality TV contests, the days between the next episode of your favorite Disney + Marvel series, and more specifically, the moment we are in: the race between COVID-19 vaccines rolling out and COVID-19 variants creeping in.
SCIENCE SAYS…
So if languishing is the middle with mental illness and mental wellness on either end, how do we tilt the scale towards wellness? First, let’s understand why it’s so easy to slide towards mental unwellness in the midst of the pandemic.
According to the Polyvagal Theory by Dr. Stephen Porges, our nervous system works like an alarm system. When it detects a threat (e.g. a global pandemic), it raises the alarm that awakens our fight, flight, or freeze responses.
When we are in these states, we may find ourselves in a constant state of fear or worry, agitation, and even anger. Our thoughts become primed towards increased negativity, and we may experience feelings of distrust and hopelessness. Physically, we might experience being exhausted, restless, or numb. When we get stuck in these states for long periods of time, it may lead to not only mental illness, but also physical diseases.
Fortunately, our nervous system has also evolved to survive these kinds of threats. Together with the alarm system is a connection system or a social engagement system, which helps us respond to threats in a less defensive way. This is the evolutionary piece of gold that tilts the scale towards wellness. When we have an activated connection system, we can build resilience in the face of stress.
Simple ways to turn on your connection system and beat languishing:
1. Connect with your mind and body
- Use your senses: engage your senses during various activities- smell, see, feel, taste, and listen.
- Move your body: go for a run, do stretching exercises, dance!
- Use your hands: create something, paint, write
2. Connect with others
- Reach out to loved ones: make a quick call to a family member/ friend/ colleague you haven’t spoken to in a while
- Help others: What are your talents and skills that may be used to help others? Listen to a friend in need, cook for neighbors, reach out to less fortunate community members.
3. Connect with nature
- Spend time with your pets
- Care for your plants
- Go outside for a walk (with proper precautions, of course!) and observe the trees, listen to the birds, and feel the warmth of the sun.
These are some easy tips and tricks to engage our connection system but don’t be fooled, their benefits go a long way. Every time you connect, pay attention to how your body feels. Be aware of how it feels when you start to relax. How slow/fast or shallow/deep is your breathing? Do your muscles feel tense or at ease? Savor this feeling and know that you can always come back to it when you need to.
Together, let’s convert languishing to connecting. From here on out, let’s breathe in the fragrance of the lather, let’s feel the bubbles slide down our skin as we rinse, and let’s engage our connection system and keep it on repeat.
Improving your social connection system is just one of the wellbeing practices we teach at We Thrive. Contact us to learn more about how we can help you and your team achieve your wellbeing goals.
Source:
Porges, S. W. (2020). The COVID-19 Pandemic is a paradoxical challenge to our nervous system: a Polyvagal Perspective. Clinical Neuropsychiatry, 17(2),135-138.
