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Small Steps, Big Impact: 6 Micro-practices for Thriving Amidst the Pandemic

Almost eight months into this Coronavirus (COVID-19) pandemic and without a vaccine available, many of us remain cautious and stay home to prevent the transmission of the virus. With this massive health crisis continuing to disrupt systems big and small, uncertainty and anxiety continue to be present in our day to day lives.

It is exhausting. It really is.

And yet, we continue to take the challenge head on. We try our best and show our resilience, every single day no matter how tiring or stressful it might be. Still, we do not definitively know how much longer this is going to drag on. How are we going to keep ourselves from burning out?

Science clearly tells us that taking care of oneself is the most essential thing we can do in order to properly care for someone else. We therefore wish to emphasize that in order to be more effective, more resilient and have more impact, it is essential to take proactive steps to manage stress and recharge body and mind. Taking any small step to bolster personal well-being, is not just an investment for oneself, but also in one’s ability to make a difference in the lives of others. (thriveglobal.com)

Self-care does not have to entail long stretches of time and big effort. And realistically speaking, with everything on our plate on a daily basis, we don’t really have the time or brain space for massive changes. Micro-practices can make a huge difference—it’s the small actionable steps, those mini-pauses, that matter more in the long run. All it takes is just a few minutes, and sometimes even just one mindful breath.

6 Micro-practices of Self-Care for Thriving: 

1. Deep Breathing/Paced Breathing

SCIENCE: Shallow breathing is part of the fight-or-flight response that causes secretion of stress hormones, eventually making the body more vulnerable to inflammation and disease. Breathing at a more calmed pace helps dial down the fight-or-flight response so the body can stop pumping unnecessary cortisol and adrenaline. (health.harvard.edu)

PRACTICE:

  • Find a quiet, comfortable place to sit or lie down.
    • First, take a normal breath.
    • Then try a deep breath: Breathe in slowly through your nose, allowing your chest and lower belly to rise as you fill your lungs (e.g. 4 counts). Let your abdomen expand fully.
    • Now breathe out slowly through your mouth or your nose, whatever feels more natural (e.g. 6 counts).
    • Repeat this breathing cycle for 10 times.
  • Once you’ve taken the steps above, you can move on to regular practice of controlled breathing. As you sit comfortably with your eyes closed, blend deep breathing with guided imagery, focusing on a word or phrase, or counting your breaths on the exhales.
  • You can use this breathing practice any time you feel stressed or tense.
2. Yoga Stretches

SCIENCE: The meditative quality of yoga triggers a well-studied physiological change known as the relaxation response.

Sun Salutation Variation Sitting On Chair Yoga (Surya Namaskar ...

This relaxation response has the following benefits:

  • lowers blood pressure, heart rate, breathing rate and oxygen consumption
  • decreases levels of adrenaline the stress hormone cortisol
  • boosts mood, decreases anxiety and depression
  • improves sleep

PRACTICE: Seated Sun Salutation (Images taken from Tummee.com)

3. S.T.O.P. – Shift from Reactive to Responsive

SCIENCE: In high-stress/high-emotion situations, our fight-or-flight tends to cause tunnel vision that leads us to interpret events or situations negatively. Sometimes causing us to act impulsively, say or do things we later regret.

PRACTICE: STOP

When you are feeling alarmed, stressed, or reactive:

  • Stop what you’re doing. Put things down for a minute.
  • Take a few deep breaths. Breathe normally and naturally, following the flow of air in and out of your nose.
  • Observe your experience as is. Notice bodily sensations, thoughts, and emotions with curiosity—no judgements.
  • Proceed with what feels like a wise next step. Ask yourself “What feels supportive in this moment?”
4. Shifting from Harsh Inner Critic to Self-Compassionate Talk

SCIENCE: Self-compassion is a practice that involves directing compassion for oneself during a time of suffering. It consists of three elements— mindfulness (present-focused awareness), common humanity (the understanding that one’s experience is similar to others, thus potentially reducing one’s sense of alienation), and self-kindness (using kind gestures or phrases toward oneself to support oneself). Self-compassion practices have been shown to have the following benefits:

  • improve positive affect, social connection, and self- and other-focused affect
  • espouses growth mindset and helps maintain peace of mind
  • increases productivity and performance even after failure
  • activates nurturance and soothing system that leads to greater feelings of wellbeing

PRACTICE: If you tend to struggle with negative self-talk whenever you make a mistake or feel like you could have done more, try these:

  • Write down the self-critical words that come to your mind, and ask yourself “Would I say these to a friend who is struggling?”
  • Develop a list of easy-to-remember self-compassionate statements such as:
    • I am trying my best. That is enough.
    • It’s understandable that I feel this way.
    • I am not perfect. No one is.
    • I know I didn’t mean for things to turn out this way.
5.  Connecting to Purpose

SCIENCE: A sense of purpose appears to have evolved in humans so that we can accomplish big things together—which may be why it’s associated with better physical and mental health. Purpose is adaptive, in an evolutionary sense. It helps both individuals and the species to survive.

PRACTICE:

  • Sit quietly with your feet in contact with the floor.
  • Take a few moments to settle down, breathing in deeply, inhaling and exhaling comfortably.
  • Feeling the contact of your feet on the solid ground beneath, gently and kindly ask yourself, “What values do I want to hold on to as I do my work and face this challenging situation?”
  • Feeling into the heart or chest area, gently and kindly ask yourself, “What do I wish to give or offer?”
  • Stretching the spine upward and reaching out to the sky, gently and kindly ask yourself, “What accomplishment would mean most to me in this work I’m doing?”  
6. Gratitude

SCIENCE: In a study at UC Davis, subjects who wrote down one thing for which they were grateful every day reported being 25% happier for a full six months after following this practice for just three weeks. A gratitude practice has been associated with increased vitality, improved kidney function, reduced blood pressure and stress hormone levels, and a stronger heart. (Mindfulness: The New Science of Health and Happiness, Time Special Edition)  

“Gratitude blocks toxic emotions, such as envy, resentment, regret and depression, which can destroy our happiness. It’s impossible to feel envious and grateful at the same time.”

Dr. Robert Emmons

PRACTICE: Three Good Things

At the end of each day, think about three things that went well that day, large or small, and describe why you think that happened. Remember the 4Ws (what went well why) as you write these.

This simple practice can be really powerful because it contributes to the past (remembering and appreciating what happened), present (noticing and savoring the positive feeling as you recall each good thing) and future (trains your mind to balance out negativity bias). By reflecting on the sources of these good things, the idea is that you start to see a broader ecosystem of goodness around you.

We hope that you get to try at least one of these micro-practices. And remember Richard Davidson’s words “Happiness and wellbeing are best regarded as skills” so let’s all practice, practice, practice.  

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Self-Compassion Practice: The Benefits of Dialing Down Our Critical Self-Talk

critical self-talk

“Self-compassion-being supportive and kind to yourself, especially in the face of stress and failure-is associated with more motivation and better self-control.”

— Kelly McGonigal, Health Psychologist at Stanford University

The human brain is naturally equipped to respond to threat. This is an important mechanism that allows us to detect when there are situations that pose danger to our survival, and consequently to respond in ways that ensure our safety. When human beings used to live in primitive and harsh conditions, survival mostly meant being able to protect oneself and one’s tribe from physical danger, such as being attacked by predatory animals. Now in our modern life, we no longer have to fight or flee from tigers and bears. But we deal with new forms of threat, which trigger the same stress response in our brain and nervous system.

One of the most pressing and prevalent threat triggers we experience is our own harsh and critical self-talk, that voice inside our head that is so quick to call out on our mistakes and imperfections—“You should have known better,” “Could you not have anticipated that?” “Someone else would have been able to figure it out.” This harsh self-critic could be our internal mechanism for avoiding the emotional dangers of rejection and social disapproval. But when we engage in self-judgmental talk, it’s like we’re letting out the old tigers and bears to roam our minds and prey on our own emotional wellbeing. Critical self-talk heightens our stress arousal, which undermines our mental and physical resilience and blocks our personal growth. 

There is a different way that we could relate and speak to ourselves.

Self-compassion is a practice that has been shown in many studies to have beneficial effects on our mental health and wellbeing. These include:

  • less self-evaluative anxiety and rumination
  • deactivation of threat system and defensiveness
  • activation of self-soothing response in the nervous system
  • decreased effect of negative life events
  • increased happiness levels.

Dr. Kristin Neff, a pioneering researcher on self-compassion explains

“Self-compassion involves acting the same way towards yourself as you would towards a good friend when you are having a difficult time, fail, or notice something you don’t like about yourself. Instead of just ignoring your pain with a ‘stiff upper lip’ mentality, you stop to tell yourself “this is really difficult right now,” how can I comfort and care for myself in this moment? Instead of mercilessly judging and criticizing yourself for various inadequacies or shortcomings, self-compassion means you are kind and understanding when confronted with personal failings – after all, who ever said you were supposed to be perfect?”

Self-compassion is hands-down a better option for our mental health and productivity than feeding into self-criticism. But our inner self-talk is a product of habit and the modeling we received in our life. We sometimes falsely assume that success requires us to be hard on ourselves in order to get better at what we do. It takes awareness and intentional practice to free ourselves from our false assumptions and to shift our default inner dialogue into one that is kinder, more compassionate, and ultimately more effective in bringing out the best in who we are. How then can we dial down on self-criticism and turn up the dial on self-compassion?

We invite you to try these self-compassion practices to begin taking more control of the programming that goes on in your internal broadcast system. Experience the positive transformation that happens when you can turn to yourself with love, understanding, and compassion.  As we practice self-compassion, Dr. Neff reminds us that, “it is a practice of goodwill, not good feelings.” In other words, while self-compassion is aimed at alleviating our internal suffering, we can’t always control the way things are.

Self-compassion is not about making our pain go away by suppressing it or fighting against it.

“With self-compassion we mindfully accept when we have difficult or painful moments, and embrace ourselves with kindness and care in response, remembering that imperfection is part of the shared human experience. This allows us to hold ourselves in love and connection, giving ourselves the support and comfort needed to bear the pain, while providing the optimal conditions for growth and transformation.”

SELF-COMPASSION PRACTICES

(adapted from www.selfcompassion.org)

1. How would I treat a friend?

When you find yourself struggling in some way, ask yourself, how would I treat a good friend or someone I care about if that person were in a similar situation? Turn to yourself in this moment of difficulty in the same way you would towards a friend.

2. Be mindful of self-critical talk.

Notice when you are being self-critical. Think about what you’ve just said to yourself and maybe ask if this voice reminds you of anyone in the past who was critical of you? Make a conscious effort to soften the self-critical voice. Perhaps say something like, “I know you’re worried about me and feel unsafe, but you are causing me unnecessary pain. Could you let my inner compassionate self say a few words now?”

3. Use self-compassionate motivation.

If you observe something in yourself that needs to change, see if you can think of a kinder, more caring way to motivate yourself to make that change. Reframe your inner dialogue so that it is more encouraging and supportive. Remember that if you really want to motivate yourself, love is more powerful than fear.

4. Care for the caregiver in you.

If you’re someone who is always in the position of caring for others, try caring for the caregiver in you. Give yourself permission to meet your own needs, recognizing that this will not only enhance your quality of life, it will also enhance your ability to be there for those that rely on you.

Which self-compassion practice have you tried? Which one are you willing to start today?

Contact us to learn more about how to practice self-compassion and wellbeing practices we teach at We Thrive.

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4 Ways to Calm and Ease Anxiety

The coronavirus (COVID-19) pandemic has disrupted all of our lives–worldwide.
This global public health crisis is so stressful that in May 2020, the United Nations (UN) released a policy brief emphasizing the need for action on mental health.1 And just this month, the World Health Organization (WHO) released a survey of 130 countries that highlighted the massive impact of the pandemic on access to mental health services and called attention to the urgent need to invest more in mental health services.2

These are truly exceptionally challenging times, yet the possibility remains open for us to live our best life now regardless of the external circumstances, as long as we make the internal choice to awaken to what is possible, right in this moment.

Dealing with anxiety has been the top-most problem reported by those who have sought one-on-one consultation sessions in our corporate programs, and for perfectly understandable reasons. Globally, a good majority of us are feeling more anxious and stressed since the pandemic started. Because of this, it has become all the more important to focus on accessing tools for calming and easing anxiety. 

Anxiety is a natural response to the threats we are currently experiencing and we shouldn’t blame or judge ourselves for feeling worried or anxious. But we also don’t want to get stuck in the loop of anxiety because it can cause our mental energy and efficiency to suffer. Additionally, it can  lead to medical issues like hyperacidity/ Gastroesophageal Reflux Disease (GERD) and increased risks for high blood pressure and heart disease.

To manage anxiety effectively, it is important that we intentionally activate our nervous system’s relaxation response in order to counteract the fear or threat reactivity in our brain that leads into a constellation of anxiety-driven thoughts, emotions, and physiological reactions. 

Here are some brain-wise anxiety regulation practices that you can try:

1. Pause and breathe

Engage in conscious or mindful breathing for about 1-3 minutes.
Conscious breathing practice can reduce stress and anxiety, soothe the mind, and lower your heart rate. The elongated exhale used in this exercise activates your parasympathetic nervous system to stimulate a relaxation response in your body and mind.3

  1. Find a comfortable position with a relatively straight spine. You can sit up in a chair or lie down on your back.
  2. Place one hand on your belly and one hand on your chest, while you breathe, see that each hand moves as you inhale and exhale to access your full respiratory capacity. 
  3. Inhale to the count of 4 through the nose.
  4. Exhale to the count of 6 through the mouth.
  5. Continue this breath pattern, 4 seconds in and 6 seconds out, for 1-3 minutes or until you feel a sense of ‘Calm’ wash over you.
2. Self-soothe

Do a pleasant or self-soothing activity, like listening to soothing or invigorating music, looking at nature around you, or playing with a pet.

3. Get moving!

Expend your body’s stored up physical energy by doing yoga, lifting weights (or whatever you have at home), dancing, walking fast, running, or jumping.

4. Connect

Spend time with someone in your life whose presence gives you comfort and joy.

Sources:
1https://www.un.org/sites/un2.un.org/files/un_policy_brief-covid_and_mental_health_final.pdf
2https://www.who.int/news/item/05-10-2020-covid-19-disrupting-mental-health-services-in-most-countries-who-survey
3Breathwrk App, CALM Practice