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Blog Everyday Thriving General Wellbeing Practices

Chat, Are We Cooked? AI Is Literally Giving Us Brainrot!

Tralalero Tralala! Tung Tung Tung Sahur!

Honestly and seriously, what do these mean and where did they come from? If one tries to search about it, results would say that it’s AI-generated content originating from Italy. What’s interesting is that it’s filed under the “brainrot” memes of the younger generation. The term is defined as low quality digital content or media that is excessively consumed and causes a decline in one’s cognitive state such as attention and critical thinking. Usually, it comes in short form content like TikTok videos, Facebook and Instagram reels, and YouTube shorts—basically, videos under 10 seconds with visuals and audios that leave a lasting impression on you after rewatching it a few times or consistently seeing/hearing them when you scroll through your feed. It gets to the point where it eventually gets stuck in your brain and you resort to that response in any given situation. 

Globally as of the moment, we have the audios from the songs Sugar on My Tongue by Tyler, the Creator. The catchiness of the song eventually brought about a trend where people film themselves from the POV of a refrigerator. Another example is Predador de Prereca, a Spanish song so upbeat you would think the lyrics are harmless and fun, but when you translate its lyrics to English, you’d be surprised how obscene and lewd the song actually is. Now, you might be thinking why I’m taking the time to give these specific examples and explain it to you. Well, it’s because when we obsessively and mindlessly scroll through social media, we tend to absorb anything we see and hear without giving it a second thought. While some content may be innocent and harmless, some content may also have sexual innuendos and themes of violence, aggression, suicide, and so on and so forth. For younger adults and older, perhaps they’ll be able to discern what’s right or wrong and what’s moral or not. But for teens and younger children, they could cluelessly absorb it, internalize it, and sometimes even embody what they see. Trust me, I’ve seen what kids talk about in their discord group chats and servers, and it’s honestly pretty terrifying. 

A number of studies have recently been conducted to study how the excessive consumption of short-form content impacts one’s attention span, and as expected, it significantly and negatively affects one’s cognitive functioning. This is because the brain gets conditioned for constant stimulation, instant gratification, and rushes of dopamine. When this happens, we start to have trouble accomplishing tasks that require sustained attention because we’re not getting any immediate feelings that are rewarding, satisfactory, amusing, or pleasurable. And this can definitely and especially be a problem for the younger generations. Now you might be wondering, “How does brainrot from short-form content connect to brainrot from the use of AI?”. Well, exercise your ability to concentrate and patiently wait because we’re getting there! 

When children become accustomed to fast-paced sensory-stimulating information, their academic performance can be compromised because this affects their ability to sit through hours of lectures, reduces their academic interest, and causes them to have lower grades. Tendencies to procrastinate become higher too, which can lead to experiencing symptoms of depression and anxiety overtime (Jochmann et al., 2024). Not only will they have difficulty listening in class, but they will also have difficulty accomplishing assignments, homework, and projects, as doing these necessitates much time and concentration. And this is where AI learning tools come in and exacerbate the problem. ChatGPT is probably the most widely used AI learning tool as of the moment. Using it is just so simple, quick, and easy. You just type in a prompt–may it be a question or a statement, and in just a few seconds, you get a substantial amount of information. Does this sound familiar? While ChatGPT is extremely useful and helpful, recent studies have shown that becoming heavily reliant on it actually makes you… dumber. Through EEG scans, Kosmyna et al. (2025) examined the brain activity of users and non-users of AI tools in essay writing and found that those who wrote essays without any tools had the most active and well-connected brain networks. Meanwhile, those who solely relied on AI had the least brain activity especially in areas connected to attention and critical thinking. It has also been observed that those who heavily rely on AI show poor memory as some participants in the student reported not remembering what they wrote. 

You’d be surprised that not only do individuals rely on ChatGPT for academic related work, but they also rely on it for decision-making and companionship. From people I personally know, they resort to ChatGPT when they need help deciding where and what to eat. Some even resort to it for a quick therapy session as ChatGPT is designed to be agreeable and to validate you. Knowing this is actually quite frustrating and perhaps, the younger generation’s brain must truly be rotting because the first thing that comes to their mind when something happens or a thought occurs is to message a robot. 

Now, what can we do to address this problem? 

  1. Engage in activities or games that stimulate your brain and encourage you to practice your critical thinking and problem solving skills (Dresler et al., 2018). Such games that encourage strategic thinking include crossword puzzles, sudoku, scrabble, and chess. There are also mobile applications now that are designed to enhance your quantitative reasoning, memory, attention, and verbal comprehension through mini games. 
  2. Don’t forget your physical health! Engaging in physical activities have been found to prevent age-related declines in cognitive functioning such as dementia. Physical exercise, especially aerobic exercises, have been found to expand the volume of the hippocampus, the part of the brain that plays a significant role in memory, learning, and spatial awareness (Erickson et al., 2011. 
  3. Eat healthy! Nutrients such as Vitamin B, Omega-3, antioxidants, and choline all contribute to memory functioning so it’s best to stock up on food rich in these such as leafy green vegetables, nuts, eggs, fatty fish, and fruits (Puri et al., 2023). 
  4. Aim to have a restful 8 hours of sleep. Doing so allows us to have better cognitive capacity and functioning. Feeling well-rested enhances our ability to think, focus, and remember better. Add in some meditation or any relaxation techniques or activities that can help to release stress in your body as well (Dresler et al., 2018). 

If it were up to me, I would personally add in a fifth method which is to delete ChatGPT! But no worries if not. What’s important is that you are able to exercise discipline, self-awareness, and self-control when it comes to slowly being less dependent on AI learning tools. As tempting as it is to receive an instant response, solution, or answer, how quick and constant we get an answer from AI contributes to how long and lasting its impact will be on our cognitive health.

References:

  • Dresler, M., Sandberg, A., Bublitz, C., Ohla, K., Trenado, C., Mroczko-Wąsowicz, A., Kühn, S., & Repantis, D. (2018). Hacking the Brain: Dimensions of Cognitive Enhancement. ACS Chemical Neuroscience, 10(3), 1137–1148. 
    https://doi.org/10.1021/acschemneuro.8b00571 
  • Erickson, K. I., Voss, M. W., Prakash, R. S., Basak, C., Szabo, A., Chaddock, L., Kim, J. S., Heo, S., Alves, H., White, S. M., Wojcicki, T. R., Mailey, E., Vieira, V. J., Martin, S. A., Pence, B. D., Woods, J. A., McAuley, E., & Kramer, A. F. (2011). Exercise training increases size of hippocampus and improves memory. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, 108(7), 3017–3022. https://doi.org/10.1073/pnas.1015950108 
  • Kosmyna, N., Hauptmann, E., Yuan, Y. T., Situ, J., Liao, X.-H., Beresnitzky, A. V., Braunstein, I., & Maes, P. (2025, June 10). Your Brain on ChatGPT: Accumulation of Cognitive Debt when Using an AI Assistant for Essay Writing Task. ArXiv.org. https://arxiv.org/abs/2506.08872 
  • Puri, S., Shaheen, M., & Grover, B. (2023). Nutrition and cognitive health: A life course approach. Frontiers in Public Health, 11(11). https://doi.org/10.3389/fpubh.2023.1023907
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Blog Everyday Thriving General

IG: Instant Gratification and Social Media

Ding! Someone liked your post. Ding! You have a new message. These familiar notifications

from the different social media platforms may often spark a small rush of excitement. What
people might not know is that these alerts are doing more than just updating us—they trigger the release of dopamine in our brains, which is the reward system and creating a pleasurable sensation (UC Davis Health, 2024). Over time, this cycle can condition us to crave such interactions, reinforcing us to check for likes, comments, and shares. When these signals of approval are absent, however, the opposite effect may occur. Instead of pleasure, people may experience feelings of rejection, inadequacy, or self-doubt.

To better understand these dynamics, it is important to first define social media, then examine how it intersects with instant and delayed gratification. By doing so, we can better understand
the potential impacts social media has on mental health.

Social media refers to a collection of online platforms that allow individuals to interact, connect, and share content within digital networks (Bashir & Bhat, 2017). Examples include Facebook,
Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, and X (formerly Twitter).

Researchers define social media as a system that enables people to create, exchange, and engage with diverse forms of content such as messages, photos, videos, and articles (Ahmed, Ahmad, Ahmad, & Zakaria, 2019). It allows for individuals to maintain relationships, build communities, and share ideas regardless of distance.

However, while social media brings undeniable benefits in terms of connectivity and information-sharing, it also affects one’s mental health. The contents of these platforms are curated in such a way that triggers dopamine to be released and leads to instant gratification.

The effects of social media are wide, influencing how people perceive themselves, interact with others, and make daily decisions. Many studies have highlighted both positive and negative outcomes. On one hand, social media can support mental health by providing access to social support networks, educational resources, and opportunities for creative self-expression. On the other hand, its design and constant availability may foster dependency and compulsive use.

A central reason why social media feels so compelling is its connection to dopamine. Dopamine is a neurotransmitter that plays a key role in motivation, learning, and reward-seeking behavior. Each “like,” comment, or share triggers a small dopamine release, producing a sense of satisfaction called instant gratification (Flex, 2023). Over time, this repeated reinforcement conditions users to continue engaging, hoping for the next rewarding interaction.

The danger is that this process can lead to an endless cycle of checking, posting, and seeking validation (Flex, 2023). Users may start to measure their self-worth by online approval, making them more vulnerable to negative emotions when engagement is low.

Going deeper, what is Instant gratification? This refers to the tendency to prefer immediate rewards over larger but delayed benefits (Goldfield, 2025). In the context of social media, this increases the temptation of instant gratification by offering continuous and easy access to small rewards. This desire for instant gratification affects a person’s decision-making process, creating the choice between immediate pleasures and future benefits (Yin & Shen, 2024). Given the age of social media and technology, most individuals tend to go for fast paced rewards. What makes social media more concerning is that it presents an endless supply of these rewards, making it difficult to exercise restraint.

When people consistently prioritize immediate rewards, several consequences can arise. First, people tend to become more impulsive (Flex, 2023). Rather than taking time to weigh long-term benefits, individuals may opt for “quick fixes.” A person might find it increasingly difficult to resist urges, leading to habits like compulsive scrolling or checking phones at inappropriate times. In some cases, this can escalate into problematic use, where social media begins to interfere with sleep, productivity, or face-to-face relationships.

Second are the emotional effects where individuals who rely heavily on social media for validation may become more vulnerable to mood swings, irritability, or even anger when the desired engagement fails to appear (Flex, 2023). Over time, this lack of emotional regulation can contribute to stress and dissatisfaction.

Social media is uniquely positioned to fuel instant gratification because of its design. Platforms employ algorithms that deliver personalized and fast-paced content, maximizing user engagement. Some of the main features that encourage this gratification include:

  • Likes, Shares, and Comments: These act as immediate markers of approval, giving users a sense of recognition and belonging.
  • Messages and Notifications: Alerts about direct messages or mentions increase feelings of connectedness, providing social reassurance.
  • Short-form Content (e.g., TikTok, Instagram Reels, YouTube Shorts): Quick, entertaining videos deliver immediate stimulation and are often consumed in rapid succession.

While these features are not harmful in isolation, prolonged use may contribute to a range of negative effects, such as (Naslund, et. al., 2020).:

  • Fear of Missing Out (FOMO)
  • Social comparison and envy
  • Burnout and fatigue from constant engagement
  • Sleep disruption due to late-night scrolling
  • Anxiety and depression linked to validation-seeking
  • Exposure to cyberbullying and online harassment
  • Strained offline relationships
  • Dissatisfaction with body image

These outcomes underscore the importance of learning to balance the use of social media.

While social media is not inherently bad, its impact depends on how it is used. Like many tools, it can be beneficial when approached with moderation and harmful when consumed excessively. Some ways to counteract the pull of instant gratification is by intentionally cultivating delayed gratification.

Here are some ways which one can promote delayed gratification in terms of social media use:

  1. Slowing Down and Taking Breaks
    Pausing from social media creates mental space to reflect on habits and choices. Breaks can weaken the automatic cycle of checking for notifications and allow individuals to re-engage with
    activities that provide long-term satisfaction.
  2. Setting Social Media Boundaries
    Boundaries can include time limits, app restrictions, or “tech free” hours during the day. By reducing availability, users can protect their focus and emotional well-being.
  3. Limiting Short-form Content
    Choosing to consume longer forms of media—such as articles, documentaries, or podcasts—can help retrain attention spans and reduce reliance on constant novelty.
  4. Practicing Mindfulness
    Mindfulness involves cultivating present-moment awareness without judgment. When applied to social media, mindfulness helps individuals notice urges, reflect on whether to act on them, and engage more intentionally. Over time, this increases self-control and reduces dependency on dopamine-driven reinforcement (Flex, 2023).

Social media has transformed human interaction, offering opportunities for connection, entertainment, and knowledge sharing. At the same time, it poses risks of dependency on instant gratification. The dopamine-driven cycle of likes, comments, and short-form content can fuel impulsivity, emotional instability, and even mental health struggles.

Yet, social media itself is not the enemy—it is our relationship with it that determines its impact. By slowing down, setting boundaries, choosing more mindful forms of engagement, and practicing delayed gratification, individuals can enjoy the benefits of social media while safeguarding their wellbeing. In doing so, we shift from being passive consumers of digital validation to intentional consumers.

References:

  • Bashir, H., & Bhat, S. A. (2017). Effects of social media on mental health: A review. International Journal of Indian Psychology, 4(3), 125-131.
  • Flex, A. (2023, July 5). The rise of instant gratification culture: How smartphones and social media contribute. Medium. https://medium.com/@neonmaxima/the-rise-of-instant-gratification-culture-how-smartphones-and-social-media-contribute-33bfa3a43ab4
  • Goldfield, G. (2025, March 4). I want it now! The psychology of instant gratification. Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/no-more-fomo/202503/i-want-it-now-the-psychology-of-instant-gratification
  • Naslund, J. A., Bondre, A., Torous, J., & Aschbrenner, K. A. (2020). Social media and mental health: benefits, risks, and opportunities for research and practice. Journal of technology in behavioral science, 5(3), 245-257.
  • Sadagheyani, H. E., & Tatari, F. (2021). Investigating the role of social media on mental health. UC Davis Health. (2024, May 10). Social media’s impact on our mental health and tips to use it safely. Cultivating Health. https://health.ucdavis.edu/blog/cultivating-health/social-medias-impact-our-mental-health-and-tips-to-use-it-safely/2024/05
  • Yin, B., & Shen, Y. (2024). Development and validation of the compensatory belief scale for the internet instant gratification behavior. Heliyon, 10(1).

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Blog Everyday Thriving General Restorative Practices Wellbeing Practices

Sweat the Stress Out: The Science of Beating Burnout by Working Out 

Have you ever caught yourself spacing out while finishing a task at work, juggling multiple things at once, or even just feeling so monotonously stuck inside a routine? More often than not, we’ve all noticed ourselves feeling drained to the core while carelessly attending to our demands. Manifested as symptoms of exhaustion (i.e. physical and psychological), dissociation, as well as a lack of motivation, burnout commonly occurs among individuals with stressful roles and this work-related fatigue encompasses one’s well-being as it affects productivity, commitment, and morale (Celestin & Vanitha, 2017; Naczenski et al., 2017). The consequences of burnout might tempt us to engage in certain activities that might not be helpful to us (e.g. drinking, smoking, etc.) (Muteshi & Kamya, 2024). While there are different ways for us to poorly cope with this, there are alternative ways for us to positively fight it as well and such is through the productive movement of our bodies. Exercise, whether cardio, resistance training, or other forms, is actually a strong weapon against burnout and here are its benefits (Basso & Suzuki, 2016; Bretland & Thorsteinsson, 2015; Gerber et al., 2020; Naczenski et al., 2017): 

  • Clearer thinking 
  • More positive mood 
  • Lower stress levels 
  • Improved well-being 
  • Better sense of accomplishment 
  • Reduced emotional exhaustion 
  • Decreased perceived stress 

Exercise was also found to be a significantly helpful component in therapy-oriented approaches in order to recover from burnout (Ochentel et al., 2018). Furthermore, studies show that engaging in movements that are involved with rhythm, breath work, and grounding strategies can help calm our nervous systems down and make us more resilient in the face of stress (Porges & Dana, 2018). That said, we can view exercise as an accessible way to tolerate or cope with distress and its related feelings or phenomena such as burnout (Linehan, 2015). 

We don’t have to go to such physically strenuous lengths for us to recover from burnout. Studies have shown that even just a bit of exercise can help yield the benefits that were mentioned earlier (Basso & Suzuki, 2016; Star, 2023). Here are some types of exercises you can try out (Basso & Suzuki, 2016; Bretland & Thorsteinsson, 2015; Ochentel et al., 2018; Star, 2023): 

  • Cardio and aerobic – Running, cycling, brisk walking, swimming, 
  • Resistance training – Lifting weights, making use of bodyweight 
  • Social activities – Dancing, yoga, tai-chi
  • Sports – Individual or team sports 

Additionally, even doing these for just a short period of time can already release a significant amount of endorphins in order to improve our moods right away just on its own (Basso & Suzuki, 2016). When deciding on which activity/ies to do, it helps that you actually want to do or enjoy that type of exercise as this builds consistency in the long run (Star, 2023). So whether it’s dancing, swimming, strengthening your muscles through weights, or building stamina through cardio – know that you’ll more likely get further if you’re happy with what you’re doing. The world is your oyster! You’re not just limited to one type of exercise. For instance, doing cardio together with lifting weights actually maximizes the likelihood of you yielding positive results not just psychologically, but also physically (Bretland & Thorsteinsson, 2015). Thus, know that the type, intensity, and duration of exercise really depends on what works best for you. Lastly, it’s important that you tailor your workout to the status of your health, lifestyle practices, and personal preferences in order to build an exercise routine that is both safe and successful (Gerber et al., 2020). 

To beat burnout, of course, it is vital that we commit ourselves into doing so – even with what little motivation we have left. You might feel a little less confident and unmotivated at first before building these through time, or vise-versa, you may feel ready to start a new routine but might lose interest after a while. That’s okay and completely normal! Here are some tips that might help as you go through your journey (Bretland & Thorsteinsson, 2015; Celestin & Vanitha, 2017; Ochentel, Humphrey, & Pfeifer, 2018; Porges & Dana, 2018): 

  • Move forth with compassion: Allow yourself some kindness and patience as you start your fitness journey and know that progress is not linear. 
  • Baby steps: Try to build consistency until your routine becomes a habit – slowly yet surely, and the smallest effort on your most tiring days still does count. 
  • A healthy life is a happy life: Don’t forget that exercise must be accompanied by other healthy habits (e.g. proper rest, healthy diet, avoid unhealthy substances, etc.).
  • Switch it up when you feel stuck: Try new exercise routines or find a buddy or group to make work-outs seem more enjoyable and uplifting. 

Working out is merely a piece of the puzzle in the grander scheme of tools to help us take care of ourselves mentally and physically, yet has immensely impactful effects when done properly. Not only is it good for our body, it also helps us balance how we respond to stress by bringing us back down to what feels safe (Porges & Dana, 2018). Finally, seek the professional help you need should things get really tough (e.g. training coach, therapist, etc.). Remember, baby steps and your body will thank you tomorrow in ways that might surprise you.

References:

  • Basso, J. C., & Suzuki, W. A. (2016). The effects of acute exercise on mood, cognition, neurophysiology, and neurochemical pathways: a review. Brain Plasticity, 2(2), 127-152.
  • Bretland, R. J., & Thorsteinsson, E. B. (2015). Reducing workplace burnout: the relative benefits of cardiovascular and resistance exercise. PeerJ, 3, e891. 
  • Celestin, P., & Vanitha, N. (2017). From burnout to balance: Managing mental health in high-stress projects. 
  • Gerber, M., Schilling, R., Colledge, F., Ludyga, S., Pühse, U., & Brand, S. (2020). More than a simple pastime? The potential of physical activity to moderate the relationship between occupational stress and burnout symptoms. International Journal of Stress Management, 27(1), 53. 
  • Linehan, M. M. (2015). DBT skills training handouts and worksheets (2nd ed.). Guilford Press. Muteshi, C., Ochola, E., & Kamya, D. (2024). Burnout among medical residents, coping mechanisms and the perceived impact on patient care in a low/middle income country. BMC Medical Education, 24(1), 828. 
  • Naczenski, L. M., de Vries, J. D., van Hooff, M. L., & Kompier, M. A. (2017). Systematic review of the association between physical activity and burnout. Journal of occupational health, 59(6), 477-494. 
  • Ochentel, O., Humphrey, C., & Pfeifer, K. (2018). Efficacy of exercise therapy in persons with burnout. A systematic review and meta-analysis. Journal of sports science & medicine, 17(3), 475. 
  • Porges, S. W., & Dana, D. (2018). Clinical applications of the Polyvagal Theory: The emergence of polyvagal-informed therapies. Norton. Star, K. (2023). Mental health benefits of exercise: For your body and brain. Verywell Mind. https://www.verywellmind.com/mental-health-benefits-of-exercise-2584094
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Blog Everyday Thriving General Wellbeing Practices

That’s Cringe! What It Means, Why We Feel It, and How to Deal With It

Have you ever been hit by a sudden wave of secondhand embarrassment? That gut-wrenching

feeling that makes you squirm, shift uncomfortably, or even physically recoil, all because you just saw someone do something painfully awkward? Or maybe you remembered something embarrassing you did years ago, and suddenly you’re blushing all over again? That feeling is what we call “cringe.”

It’s a unique emotional response we get when we witness someone make a social blunder or a faux pas that jeopardizes their social image or even ours, even if it’s not happening to us directly or right now (Escoe et al., 2024). It also happens when someone tries to make a good impression but completely messes it up in a way that’s hard to ignore.

According to research, cringe is a vicarious emotional reaction. That means it happens when we witness someone break social norms or mess up their social “integrity” (Mayer et al., 2021). The interesting part is that these social transgressions are usually trivial and pretty harmless. They don’t have serious moral consequences, and sometimes they even make us laugh.

Physically, cringe can show up in a bunch of different ways. Maybe you flush or scrunch up your face. You might squirm in your seat, cover your mouth, or even shout “eww!” Some people break into a sweat or get goosebumps. Your face might feel hot, and your whole body reacts, even when your brain logically knows it’s not you in that awkward moment. 

That reaction? That’s cringe.

Now, to make it clear, cringe isn’t quite the same as embarrassment. Embarrassment is something we feel about ourselves when we mess up socially, especially if others see it. Think about waving back at someone who wasn’t waving at you, or accidentally calling your teacher “mom.” It’s sort of like an instant feeling of awkwardness that is personal.

Cringe, on the other hand, is more like secondhand embarrassment. It’s what we feel when someone else does something awkward or socially uncomfortable. Like watching a person try way too hard to seem cool in front of new people, or the classic example of someone pulling out a wedgie in public. It’s awkward, it’s uncomfortable, and it makes you squirm just watching it. What’s even funnier (or more painful) is that we can also cringe at ourselves, like remembering something cringey we did years ago and feeling all those feelings all over again.

Well, humans are inherently social creatures. We share emotions, we try to figure out what others are thinking, and we quickly learn what kind of behavior leads to embarrassment or shame. Since belonging is a basic survival instinct, we naturally avoid things that might make us look weird, awkward, or unacceptable to others.

When we see someone break a social rule, or suddenly remember an embarrassing moment of our own, our brain treats it like a social threat. That’s why we squirm, look away, or get that full-body “eugh” feeling. It’s basically our brain trying to protect us from experiencing the same awkwardness firsthand.

A more neurological explanation could be that certain parts of the brain, like the anterior insula, which helps us process self-conscious emotions like embarrassment, are closely connected to the amygdala, our brain’s “emotion center”. When these two areas work together, they help explain pain empathy, or that feeling we get when we experience someone else’s pain or embarrassment, almost as if it were our own (Paulus et al., 2014).

Surprisingly, cringe doesn’t just make us uncomfortable, it also makes us want to talk about it.  Sharing cringeworthy moments can actually make us feel better, because it gives us a chance to compare ourselves to the person who messed up… and feel a little more socially competent in the process (Escoe et al., 2024).

It’s like saying, “At least I’m not that awkward!” and that makes us feel better about ourselves.

Although cringe is not the most comfortable feeling, it is a normal reaction that we all experience. It is unavoidable, but what we can do is to handle it with grace, or even a little humor.

Here are some ways to handle that awkward feeling:

  1. Pause, breathe: When you witness something awkward that catches you off-guard. Pause, let yourself be shocked or embarrassed, but don’t forget to breathe and let the awkwardness float away.
  2. Shift your focus: Instead of dwelling on the cringe, check your phone, chat with a friend, or think about something else. 
  3. Remember, it’s not always serious. Everyone’s got a “wait, did I really just do that?” moment, and most cringeworthy moments are harmless. But it’s honestly funny looking back, and can even turn into funny stories later.
  4. Practice empathy. Put yourself in their shoes. Think about how the other person might be feeling. Chances are, the person who made the cringe move feels just as awkward. Cut them some slack– we all mess up sometimes, or even give them a mental high-five for bravery.
  5. Find the humor (but keep it kind). Sometimes the best cure is a little giggle. Like when someone pulls a wedgie in public… Yeah, awkward, but hey, life’s too short not to laugh a little.

At the end of the day, cringe is part of being human. Awkward moments happen to the rest of us, but they do not last forever. The key is to be kind and not to take these moments too seriously– sometimes, they even make life more interesting.

References:

  • Escoe, B., Martin, N. S., & Salerno, A. (2024). EXPRESS: That’s So Cringeworthy! Understanding What Cringe Is and Why We Want to Share It. Journal of Marketing Research. https://doi.org/10.1177/00222437241305104
  • Mayer, A. V., Paulus, F. M., & Krach, S. (2021). A Psychological Perspective on Vicarious Embarrassment and Shame in the Context of Cringe Humor. Humanities, 10(4), 110. https://doi.org/10.3390/h10040110
  • Paulus, F. M., Müller-Pinzler, L., Jansen, A., Gazzola, V., & Krach, S. (2014). Mentalizing and the Role of the Posterior Superior Temporal Sulcus in Sharing Others Embarrassment. Cerebral Cortex, 25(8), 2065– 2075. doi: 10.1093/cercor/bhu011
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Blog Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) Everyday Thriving General

What about now? A journal on surviving the Adulting stage

Somewhere along the way of finding out what to put in my CV and what to wear for my job interview, or maybe in between deciding whether to resign or not, up to paying my monthly bills and attending social events and date nights. I just happened to find myself in the middle of the fast-paced wave of life, unable to utter a word to begin answering the question of my friend, “Kumusta ka?” Then, I realized how adult life has really struck me hard and for real.

According to studies, emerging adulthood or the transition period from adolescence to adulthood, whose age ranges from 18 to 29 years old, is one of the most crucial and challenging periods an individual undergoes. After graduating from college, individuals are faced with a reality that is usually uncertain and unstable. Coming from the structured environment of school where next steps are defined and established, suddenly, you are expected to decide on which path to take, or what kind of job you would want to pursue or engage in. Being independent in aspects of financial, physical and mental health has also become one of the expectations as you become an adult. However, what makes this life period interesting and concerning is the recent trends in statistics showing the increasing stress levels and mental health concerns among young adults over the years. Statistics show that the stress levels of young adults across generations are increasing, with an average of 3.4 to 5.8, now at 6 out of 10 ratings. According to Dr. Chelsea Dudley, a clinical psychologist at Coastal Therapy Group, California, while the developmental demands of the early adulthood stage continues to be the same, i.e., financial and career and relationship-related concerns, other environmental and societal factors in the present such as inflation, political instabilities, and other health-related concerns that has surfaced as a result of the post pandemic era, aggravated the stress levels of these individuals (Medaris, 2023). These compounding factors, together with the fast-paced and competitive era of technology and social media, have left young individuals overwhelmed as they try to navigate their lives. No wonder, numbers also show that across age ranges, 18 to 25-year-olds have been the ones with the highest prevalence rate of mental illness at 33%, and with about 75% of these young individuals reporting having mental health problems related to depression and anxiety, peaking at 24 years of age (Parvin et al., 2025; Mozafaripour, 2025).

While we also recognize that these numbers may have been influenced by several factors, surveys and reports have been consistent in saying how challenging it is to transition to being an adult (Gordon & Gordon, 2023); Significantly challenging that in the past decade that the term “Adulting” has been invented, to refer to the act of being or behaving as an adult–living up to the expectations and responsibilities of life. This makes us wonder, how do we really survive and work on this challenging phase of life? Here is an outline of life skills we hope to work on to survive the adulting phase:

Most self-help articles and journals would actually highlight the importance of time management skills, including executive functions such as planning and prioritization, to become more productive. However, in the book of James E. Loehr and Tony Schwartz titled “The Power of Full Engagement,” they pointed out that while time is an important element in being productive, energy is also a vital factor that can actually drive efficiency (Morgan, 2024). This is also in recognition that in this fast-paced culture, our
energy and motivation may fluctuate and that is something we cannot fully control. This also shifts our understanding of ourselves to becoming more self-aware since energy is internal while time is
conceptually external; that in managing our commitments, we can be more conscious of our own capabilities at a certain point in time, lessening the tendency of being overwhelmed by demands in the
long run. In a more practical sense, energy management looks like creating a personalized schedule for oneself in a day, gauging when the peak of your energy and matching the most demanding tasks in that moment. It is about taking short and meaningful breaks in between to prevent energy depletion. With that, energy management entails taking care of physical health also, knowing that the energy level is crucial in achieving efficiency and productivity. In managing both time and energy, we hope to maximize our full capabilities while not being pressured and swept away by the business of life and may end up compromising our well-being (Morgan, 2024).

As we recognize how overwhelming things can be in this adulting phase, we cannot spare ourselves from having reactions to particular changes in our daily lives. As a consequence, we may actually find ourselves feeling frustrated, disappointed, anxious, confused and sad along the way. These difficult emotions, just like any emotion, when not regulated and processed, may actually affect psychological well-being. In regulation, it is vital that young individuals are able to pause and label their own emotions to better manage them. Oftentimes, our emotions and reactions are tied to our own sets of
values we assign to situations and ourselves. For instance, emotions of anger and frustration may usually spring from situations where your limits and boundaries may have been crossed, or perhaps when you feel unjustly towards some situations. Sadness, on the other hand, may mean that you have lost something or someone, which is usually accompanied by guilt. These emotions, when understood, give us insights and enlighten us about our own tendencies and ultimately our own values. This understanding of oneself is vital, knowing that identity formation and engaging in stable and fruitful relationships are the developmental tasks needed to be achieved during the early adulthood stage (Munsey, 2006).

Additionally, emotion regulation skills are also relevant in this phase because it is the time and space for exploration, given the availability of opportunities. In a sense, having good regulation skills
means equipping oneself with the capability to explore with ease, knowing how to self-soothe, cope and maneuver in the face of unpredictable situations. With this, we remember that one good practical example of an unpredictable situation is in the context of dating. This, as we mentioned, has been one of the developmental milestones identified at this stage of life – deciding whether to engage and be committed to a romantic relationship. For most young adults, dating has been a complex process of knowing oneself and the other person (potential partner) that can surface a lot of insights, stir up values and beliefs and confront wounds and triggers (Munsey, 2006). As such, to survive and become successful in this adulting phase, there is really a need to understand oneself, our preferences and values first in order to better manage our emotions and reactions, and eventually be able to deal with life decisions.


As we’ve established the importance of a deeper understanding of oneself, the next skill that needs to be developed is the ability to communicate and express oneself. This is especially true as young
adults engage in conversations and daily encounters with family, work and other relationships. Communication skills are relevant as young adults start to form and solidify their sense of self and set boundaries with other people. Remember that the emerging adulthood phase is also a transition towards becoming independent and self-reliant (Munsey, 2006). Sometimes, the challenge is when we know what we want to do and who we want to become and be with, but we can’t primarily work on it because we cannot speak and express ourselves better,. There is also that consideration of outcomes or consequences should we choose to express ourselves.

A Psychologist named Marsha Linehan described in her dialectical behavioral approach that in terms of developing our communication skills, there can be three situations to look at depending on what is your goal and priority in the context of relationships. That is: a) those situations where we need to assert our needs to other people b) those situations where you may want to communicate something but you want to maintain the quality of relationship you have with the person/people or c) you just simply want to communicate but also maintain your self-respect.

In the first situation, she presented the acronym D-E-A-R M-A-N to be used in asserting one’s needs (Eist, 2015). Describe the Situation – Stick to the facts and state them as they are, without the interpretations. Express – state your own feelings about the situation. With this, it is relevant that we use I-statements (I feel…, I am…) to communicate a sense of accountability on one’s own feelings. Assert – Clearly say and describe your needs and Reinforce – propose how the situation can be to their favor also to them if they choose to grant your request and cooperate. In doing this, Linehan also reminded us that it is very important that we stay mindful of the objective, appear confident and be willing to negotiate to arrive at a win-win situation (Eist, 2015).

Meanwhile, in the second situation, Linehan proposed the acronym G-I-V-E when we may want to communicate having the goal and priority of maintaining the quality of the relationship we have with
other people (Eist, 2015). She said that it is essential that we become Gentle in our delivery and that we show Interest in their dispositions. We may also need to be Validating in the way we see their views without the need to agree with them. It is also relevant that we do this in an Easy and respectful manner (Eist, 2015).

Lastly, Linehan also gave the acronym F-A-S-T when it comes to situations where we want to preserve our self-respect. She said that it is necessary that we become Fair not just to ourselves but also to
others. There shall be no taking advantage of the other and of oneself. This also means that there shall be no over-Apologizing on your end; that sorry shall only be said in sincerity and on when it is truly warranted. Sticking to one’s own Values relative to the situation is also a must as that is also a reflection of becoming Truthful and not making excuses and being of ill intention (Eist, 2015).

Truly, life transitions are one of the most crucial and great wonders of human nature. As Jeffrey Jensen Arnett, a psychologist, described, “Emerging adulthood is a time of life when a lot of important turning points are reached, so it’s endlessly dramatic and fascinating.” (Munsey, 2006). While it is undeniably overwhelming, it is also a period of growth and possibilities.

References:

  • Eist, H. I. (2015). DBT Skills Training Manual, 2nd Ed. Marsha M. Linehan (2015) New York. The Journal of Nervous and Mental Disease, 203(11), 887. https://doi.org/10.1097/nmd.0000000000000387
  • Gordon, J. A., & Gordon, J. A. (2023, April 10). Quarterlife crisis among emerging Adults: a phenomenological study – the IAFOR Research Archive. The IAFOR Research Archive -https://papers.iafor.org/submission66173/
  • Medaris, A. (2023). Gen Z adults and younger millennials are “completely overwhelmed” by stress. In American Psychological Association. https://www.apa.org/topics/stress/generation-z-millennials-young-adults-worries
  • Munsey, C. (2006). Emerging adults: The in-between age. American Psychological Association, 37(7). https://www.apa.org/monitor/jun06/emerging
  • Morgan, M. (2024, October 15). Understanding time and energy management strategies for peak productivity. Herrmann Singapore. https://herrmann.com.sg/understanding-time-and-energy-management-strategies-for-peak-productivity/
  • Mozafaripour, S. (2025, May 16). Mental Health Statistics [2024]. University of St. Augustine for Health Sciences. https://www.usa.edu/blog/mental-health-statistics/#:~:text=Mental%20illness%20can%20affect%20anyone%2C,14%2C%20and%2075%20percent%20experienced
  • Parvin, M., Etienne, A., & Wagener, A. (2025). Investigating lifestyle risk and protective factors for depression in young Adults: Insights from a Large-Scale Cross-Sectional study. American Journal of Lifestyle Medicine, 15598276251347226. https://doi.org/10.1177/15598276251347226
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Blog Wellbeing Practices

Dancing Through Life: Integrating Mindfulness and Movement in Daily Living

When people ask me how long I’ve been dancing, I usually start counting the years from my freshman year in high school. In reality though, I’ve been dancing and moving for as long as I can remember. Whether it was recreating dance sequences from music videos, pretending that I was a popstar, or needing to dance for field demonstrations at school, I was always moving and grooving. 

This might be why I used to be intimidated by mindfulness exercises. As someone who loves moving around, and as someone whose mind endlessly wanders, the thought of having to sit still and meditate wasn’t something that particularly excited me. I had this impression that maybe mindfulness just wasn’t my thing, and that I would have to find other ways to work on my mental health. But the more that I started to grow and evolve in dance, and the more that I actually understood mindfulness, the more that I discovered that the two aren’t actually very different. In fact, all this time, I was unknowingly developing mindfulness through dance.

Let me share how I developed the attitudes of mindfulness through dance: 

A form of dance that I’ve come to love is freestyle – basically a form of improvisation. No choreographed routine, no planning ahead, just pure reliance on how your body naturally moves to the music. Admittedly, having to do freestyles used to make me self-conscious. In the beginning, it was something that seemed so intimidating to me. Over time though, I opened myself up, and it eventually became one of my favorite things to do. I found freedom and expression in not questioning or judging the choices my body was making, ultimately allowing myself to fully immerse in the moment.

Typically, we’re taught to stay on beat by using counts of 8. And while this method isn’t necessarily incorrect, it can be harder to apply to more intermediate and advanced choreographies. Even so, dancers can also sometimes get lost in their concentration and count intuitively, rather than actually listening and paying to the music. There’s a term that’s used, “dancing in the pocket” which basically means dancing in reaction to the music, rather than anticipating it. As I tried to get better and better at dancing in the pocket, I made intentional efforts to not rely on just counting in my head, but to actually listen to the music. It challenged me to become more patient and really exercise control over my mind and body.

For almost 15 years now, without fail, every dance team I’ve joined starts every new training cycle with going back to very similar basic foundational drills. Whether the rookie or the senior, we all go back to the same drills. By doing these drills over and over again, and by embodying a beginner’s mindset, I’ve been able to develop a strong foundation that has allowed me to be stronger and more versatile. By adapting a beginner’s mindset, I also learned to appreciate every learning opportunity, and not take for granted all the small steps of hard work that I put in. Most importantly though, keeping a beginners’ mind keeping me curious, and keeps me excited to learn and grow.

One of the things that I’m most thankful for is that in all the years that I’ve been dancing is that I’ve never encountered a major injury that required me to be sidelined for an extended period of time. Sure, I might have sprained my ankle, strained a couple muscles, and I might have also dislocated my elbow once (although that wasn’t actually from dance!), but for the most part, I’ve been able to take care of my body. One of the biggest reasons why I’ve been able to do this is because I’ve learned how to listen and trust my body. I know when to push my body, and when to give it rest. And whenever I’m nervous, I’ve also learned to trust my body, and trust the training I’ve put in to prepare my body as best as I can.

I’m not going to pretend that I’m not competitive and that I never had dance ambitions. However, I was also lucky to have coaches and mentors who, more than winning, instilled the importance of enjoying the moment, and simply putting the best version of yourself on stage. Although we could be extremely competitive during training, come actual competition day, all of that would be thrown out the window. Nothing else mattered than pouring our hearts out and enjoying the moment. Ironically, non-striving has helped me stay in the competitive scene longer. I’ve actually been able to maintain a healthy and sustainable relationship with the demands of competing because my focus is centered around the process, and not the outcomes. 

I used to think that dance was universal. And by this, I thought that dance could mold the body to move in very specific ways. Over the years, a frustration I frequently encountered was: “why don’t I look like them?” I realized though, that as much as there are ways our bodies can move similarly, ultimately, every body works and moves differently. Our individual and unique movement is a power and a strength, and not a limitation. I came to discover that it’s not about exactly copying other people’s movements, but it’s about recognizing your own body, and understanding your own movement. By embracing and accepting your body and how it moves, it gets easier to actually understand how you can grow and improve.

To this day, and even after years of experience, I’m still hit with waves of panic and anxiety before stepping on stage. And even in the simpler things like running choreography at the end of class, I will still feel moments of nervousness and uncertainty. But once your cue and the music starts, once you actually start moving, nothing else matters. You find yourself letting go and submitting to the music. And at the end of a stressful day or a stressful week, there’s no better feeling than having a few precious moments of just letting go of your inhibitions, and releasing all that stress. 

Over the past couple years, more and more dance studios have popped up across Metro Manila. There’s also been a lot more beginner classes of various styles. It’s been really fulfilling seeing dance become more accessible and approachable. And I guess this shouldn’t be a surprise since dance has always been a great form of exercise not only for our physical health but also our mental wellbeing. Not only this, but dance helps provide safe spaces and builds connection and communities. So if you’re curious, or even maybe just looking for a new activity to explore, I highly encourage exploring dancing through life!

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Blog Thrive at Work

Cultivating Mentoring Relationships for Psychotherapists

“It’s important that you feel held.” These words of my clinical supervisor echo in my mind whenever I am in a helping process with someone in distress. And rightly so, for I received those words when I myself was going through distress – managing my first complex case as a starting psychotherapist. My client that time just experienced a terrible trauma and attempted suicide. They survived, thankfully, but I remember feeling overwhelmed, distressed over my client’s safety, and doubtful of my own efficacy. My clinical supervisor made space for me to share my inner process of working with this client; listening attentively, guiding with reflective questions, and, when necessary, sharing advice and her own experience as a beginning therapist. It was her generous sharing of both her technical expertise and compassionate presence that enabled me to replenish my reserves to support my client. Eventually, my client was able to find her path towards safety and thriving; and I also grew to be more competent and confident in my skills. That space became my concrete experience of the parallel process in therapy work; being made to feel held so that one can, in turn, also cultivate a safe holding space with clients and colleagues.

Beyond a space to experience the parallel process in therapy work, having mentoring relationships has been found to positively impact both the professional and personal life of a clinician. Mentoring is defined as “a personal and reciprocal relationship in which a more experienced professional acts as a guide, role model, teacher, and sponsor of a less experienced professional” (Johnson, 2017). Benefits of having a network of mentoring relationships include strengthening one’s clinical competence, self-confidence, and self-identity as a clinician, connections, and career opportunities. Studies show that those who receive mentoring tend to feel more committed to their profession, accelerate their professional development, access more opportunities, and may even earn more than those not receiving mentoring. In the sometimes isolating and emotionally taxing context of therapy work, being connected to a “constellation of mentors” can help nourish one’s socio-emotional well-being and replenish one’s compassion. And while getting a mentor can just happen organically, we can also be more intentional in cultivating our personal “board of mentors” with the following steps:

What is my personal and/or professional vision and mission? What are my values and goals? What skills, knowledge, or opportunities would support these? 

    Once these are clear, it’s easier to identify one’s mentoring needs. What kind of exposure, guidance, and role model would best support one’s goals? Mentoring relationships can range from more formal clinical supervision under structured training programs and academic mentoring, or more informal such as having coffee conversations with more proficient others. It can focus on seeking guidance regarding specific skills, current or future role, one’s profession. But it can also focus on non-work matters such as fitness, spirituality, financial proficiency, that support work-life balance and self-care. While early-career professionals profit the most from highly structured and technical supervision, mentoring relationships for mid-career professionals tend to grow less formal and more collegial peer coaching. These can be found in joining special interest organizations, networking with peers in events, or one’s informal network of professionals. Meanwhile, those in the advanced level of their career often take on the guiding role.

    While it may be daunting to proactively strike a relationship with a potential mentor, it can be affirming to know that mentoring relationships can also be rewarding for mentors. Evidence suggests that having mentees can feel fulfilling, generative, and re-energizing on the side of a more senior professional. Other challenges may be more logistical, such as challenges in availability, limited access to groups or programs providing mentoring, or limited local specialists in the area we would like to be mentored in. To these concerns, it may help to cast wide one’s net and list down all potential guides, as well as leveraging on technology and teleconferencing to access possible guides outside of one’s immediate location. Once the list is set, you can check out these tips and sample templates for reaching out to potential guides.

    Keeping the mentoring relationship warm and mutually rewarding is beneficial for all involved. In reality, many potential mentors already have busy schedules, so cultivating the attitude of a mentee that is a pleasure to guide and finding ways to contribute to a mentor’s goals can make the relationship more reciprocal. Mentors are found to gravitate towards a mentee who is proactive, strives for excellence, is open and responsive to feedback, collaborates with the mentor’s goals, and demonstrates commitment to growth.

    Concrete ways to keep the engagement productive and reciprocal may include preparing well for mentorship meetings, following through on one’s commitment, and determining what you can bring to the mentoring relationship. For more formal interactions, setting parameters on when to close the formal mentoring relationship (but keeping the connection open) would be helpful. The APA expounds more on guidelines for both mentors and mentees here

    To sum, cultivating mentoring relationships is beneficial across the arc of one’s professional development as a psychotherapist. To strengthen your constellation of guides, you can:

    • Reflect on your values and mentoring needs.
    • Reach out to potential guides.
    • Build a reciprocal relationship with them.

    If you’ve done all these and find yourself remembering a guide who made an impact on you in the past, this might be a good time to touch base with them again. Or perhaps consider paying it forward and becoming a mentor yourself.

    References:

    • American Psychological Association. (2012). Introduction to mentoring: A guide for mentors and mentees. Retrieved from https://www.apa.org/education-career/grad/mentoring
    • Phan, J. (2021, March 10). What’s the right way to find a mentor? Harvard Business Review. Retrieved from https://hbr.org/2021/03/whats-the-right-way-to-find-a-mentor
    • Johnson, W. B. (2017). Mentorship in the life and work of the private practitioner. In Handbook of Private Practice: Keys to Success for Mental Health Practitioners (2017th ed., pp. 222-234). Oxford University Press.
    Categories
    Blog Everyday Thriving General Thrive at Work Thrive in School

    ADHD Diagnosis: Complexities and Caveats

    The Philippines has made significant strides in mental health awareness, thanks to professionals, advocates, and service users’ efforts. Initiatives such as the Philippine Mental Health Act (R.A. 11036) and the recognition of the rights of psychosocial disabilities under the Magna Carta for Disabled Persons (R.A. 7277) have played pivotal roles in this progress. Advocacy groups are also pushing for legislation like the Neurodivergent People’s Rights Act (H.B. 9787).

    Despite these advancements, stigma and misunderstanding surround neurodevelopmental disorders, particularly Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). This is a developmental disorder characterized by patterns of hyperactivity, inattention, or a combination of the two. A diagnosis is given based on the severity of symptoms, level of impairment, and the presence of symptoms since childhood. Globally, ADHD affects 5-7.2% of youth and 2.5-6.7% of adults ,,; but Philippine figures are unfortunately scarce and outdated.

    Consider a young boy in his Grade 1 classroom, labeled as “makulit,” “pasaway,” and even “bad,” while he struggles with symptoms of ADHD that go unrecognized. Similarly, imagine a woman in a bustling high-rise building, where her difficulties staying organized lead to exclusion from important email correspondences and social gatherings, all because her colleagues are unaware of her ADHD diagnosis.

    Recognizing ADHD as a genuine challenge and not a character flaw, is vital for supporting individuals and dispelling misconceptions.This condition, when properly diagnosed, can be life-saving, paving the way for individuals to alleviate suffering and reclaim their power. But however well-intentioned, there is still a risk of overdiagnosis- an issue that is particularly prevalent in the realm of ADHD, but also within the realm of mental health diagnoses at large. Overdiagnosis can occur due to various factors, ranging from clinician practices to caregiver influences, but this often looks like overprescription of medications and unnecessary interventions. In the case of ADHD, changes in criteria in the

    Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders between its fourth and fifth editions have contributed to this concern- it added examples of symptoms seen in adolescents and adults, lessened impairment criteria, and revised the age of onset.

    We must also remember that for children, a certain level of kulit is normal and developmentally appropriate. It is a quintessential part of childhood, after all — to dash around, create chaos, and indulge in one’s imagination. However, what distinguishes ADHD diagnosis is the severity and persistence of symptoms over time to the point that there is impairment.

    Context also may play a role in facilitating overdiagnoses and misdiagnoses. While legislative progress and heightened awareness have improved access to care, our “digital by default” age has introduced new challenges, further complicating the diagnostic process for mental health disorders. For example, during the pandemic, the proliferation of misleading TikTok videos about ADHD posed a significant risk, as many individuals were facing attention challenges. A study revealed that over half of these videos were misleading, with non-healthcare professionals being the primary uploaders, potentially leading to widespread misinformation and self-diagnosis among their viewers.

    On the other hand, many individuals may go undiagnosed until much later, their struggles well-masked by societal expectations and coping mechanisms. There exist gendered differences in the diagnosis of ADHD: boys are significantly more diagnosed with ADHD compared to girls due to differences in presentation. Girls with ADHD often exhibit the inattentive type, which may not manifest as disruptive behavior and consequently may be overlooked for treatment unless their symptoms significantly impact their daily functioning.

    And with any diagnosis, whether physical or not, early intervention is crucial. Effective treatment during childhood can significantly improve symptoms and overall functioning, leading to better outcomes. Unfortunately, if left untreated until adulthood, ADHD can result in chaotic lifestyles, other co-occurring mental disorders, and challenges in various aspects of life.

    The journey towards an ADHD diagnosis can be unexpectedly complex. For individuals who resonate with ADHD symptoms, every step of the way demands cautious decision-making. It is crucial to be discerning with the information you consume and the healthcare providers that you trust. Ensure that they are equally diligent.

    Self-reflection is also essential. Clarify your “why” behind seeking a diagnosis—It could be that receiving ADHD treatment might help you lead a much more fulfilling life. It could also be that you want relief from years of overcompensation. Whatever your “why” is, seeking a comprehensive assessment is essential in this process to tailor-fit treatment to your unique brain. It is not a one-size-fits-all diagnosis, however general the diagnostic manual may make it appear to be; a detailed picture of how your mind works, pinpointing your strengths and challenges, will help specify what you need.

    Seeking consultations from various professionals, such as clinical psychologists and psychiatrists, can offer valuable insights and interventions for managing ADHD. Therapy is a crucial component of tailored interventions—it provides individuals with a safe space to learn more about themselves, as well as equips them with essential skills and strategies to cope with their symptoms. Additionally, executive function coaching can further empower individuals with ADHD to navigate daily challenges effectively and achieve their goals. Executive function coaching focuses on enhancing skills like organization, time management, and task prioritization- these are skills that are often affected by ADHD symptoms. By addressing these areas, your quality of life may be significantly enhanced.

    Despite the leaps and bounds in mental health perceptions, access, and service delivery, there is still much work to be done. Whether for ourselves or others, there is no time like the present to advocate for better education on mental health concerns like ADHD. Indeed, it is an ongoing journey to challenge misconceptions, develop discernment, and embrace the complexities of these issues. However, it is essential to see the merit in all this effort, to recognize that finally receiving the proper help can save lives. By advocating for improved access to accurate diagnosis and comprehensive treatment, we can empower individuals with ADHD to finally thrive in their communities.

    For Executive Functioning (EF) coaching and other clinical services, contact us at clinic@wethriveinc.com.

    Sources:

    https://lawphil.net/statutes/repacts/ra2018/ra_11036_2018.html
    http://hrlibrary.umn.edu/research/Philippines/RA%207277%20-%20Magna%20Carta%20of%20Disabled%20Persons.pdf
    https://hrep-website.s3.ap-southeast-1.amazonaws.com/legisdocs/basic_19/HB09787.pdf
    Posner J, Polanczyk GV, Sonuga-Barke E. Attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder. Lancet. 2020;395(10222):450–462. doi: 10.1016/S0140-6736(19)33004-1.
     Song P, Zha M, Yang Q, Zhang Y, Li X, Rudan I. The prevalence of adult attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder: A global systematic review and meta-analysis. Journal of Global Health. 2021;11:04009. doi: 10.7189/jogh.11.04009.
    Thomas R, Sanders S, Doust J, Beller E, Glasziou P. Prevalence of attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder: a systematic review and metaanalysis. Pediatrics. 2015;135(4):e994–e1001. doi: 10.1542/peds.2014-3482.
     Merten, E. C., Cwik, J. C., Margraf, J., & Schneider, S. (2017). Overdiagnosis of mental disorders in children and adolescents (in developed countries). Child and adolescent psychiatry and mental health, 11, 1-11.
    Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration. DSM-5 Changes: Implications for Child Serious Emotional Disturbance [Internet]. Rockville (MD): Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (US); 2016 Jun. Table 7, DSM-IV to DSM-5 Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder Comparison. Available from: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK519712/table/ch3.t3/ 
    American Psychiatric Association. (2022). Neurodevelopmental disorders. In Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders (5th ed., text rev.).
    Yeung, A., Ng, E., & Abi-Jaoude, E. (2022). TikTok and attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder: a cross-sectional study of social media content quality. The Canadian Journal of Psychiatry, 67(12), 899-906.
    Bruchmüller, K., Margraf, J., & Schneider, S. (2012). Is ADHD diagnosed in accord with diagnostic criteria? Overdiagnosis and influence of client gender on diagnosis. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 80(1), 128–138. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0026582 
     Ginsberg, Y., Quintero, J., Anand, E., Casillas, M., & Upadhyaya, H. P. (2014). Underdiagnosis of attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder in adult patients: a review of the literature. The primary care companion for CNS disorders, 16(3), 23591.

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    Blog Wellbeing Practices

    Living The Way Of The Force: Fostering Mindfulness As Taught By Star Wars

    Qui-Gon: “Do not center on your anxieties, Obi-Wan.
    Keep your concentration here and now, where it belongs.”

    Obi-Wan: “But Master Yoda says I should be mindful of the future.”

    Qui-Gon: “But not at the expense of the moment. Be mindful of the living Force, young Padawan.”

    *** 


    Spoiler warning: This article contains references from scenes in the Star Wars movie franchise. Reader discretion is advised as these references may be spoilers for those who have yet to watch the movies.

    The Force has always been an enigmatic, mysterious concept in the Star Wars universe harnessed by both Jedi and Sith alike that fuels their abilities and lightsabers; and has been thought of as an “invisible energy” that ties every being in the universe together. In order for The Force to be harnessed, one must look insightfully into themselves to find a balance between the light and the dark parts within; to attune oneself into the present moment; and expand one’s awareness of thoughts, emotions, and sensations, allowing them to simply “just be” without judgment  and letting go of them when need be.

    The ways in which Star Wars’ The Force has been described and harnessed by its users can often be interpreted as a fantastical analog to the present-day concept and experience of mindfulness, a way of doing things and living life that has been practiced and used in different therapies (especially those of the Cognitive-Behavioral family of therapies such as Dialectical Behavior Therapy, and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy) to help people live meaningful lives while acknowledging and tolerating suffering as an essential human condition, and accepting and enacting change within ourselves and with others.

    It is a well-known fact that Star Wars hugely borrows a multitude of motifs and themes from different cultures and spiritualities. The nature of The Force and much of the Jedi way of life borrows their motifs from the spirituality of Zen Buddhism (“Zen”, for short)— not a religion or ideology, but a way of living and the manner by which a person thinks or does things mindfully. The Jedi Code, the code that guides the way of Jedi life and their morals, is closely inspired by The Four Noble Truths of Zen Buddhism.  These Noble Truths were taught by The Buddha himself and dissects upon the nature of suffering, how we may transcend beyond that suffering, and how we may live meaningful lives despite suffering: The First Truth, The Reality of Suffering; The Second Truth, The Cause of Suffering; The Third Truth, The End of Suffering; and the Fourth Truth, The Eightfold Path Leads to Nirvana (or simply called “enlightenment” or “awakening”,  freedom from suffering).

    Zen considers suffering as a fundamental condition of humanity through The First Truth, where life is not without physical and mental suffering, and emotional stress. We simply cannot live perfect lives and run from suffering.  The Second Truth teaches us that suffering is not random at all, and comes from the attachment to desires, our moving goalposts— our should haves, would haves, and shouldn’t haves— and our pursuit of and hanging on to impermanent, fleeting pleasures. In this pursuit and effort to satisfy and hold on to our desires and material wants that are essentially impermanent, these desires and material wants are destined to be lost that would in turn, lead to our disappointment, regret and pain. We see this in the example of Anakin Skywalker, who would later become the infamous Darth Vader after he is consumed with his fears. He becomes extremely attached to Padme Amidala, and encounters a vision of her dying in the future. Consumed by the future and his fear of losing her, he seeks to become more powerful by heeding his Dark Side, allowing himself to be overridden by his emotions in an effort to prevent his fears. Out of his fear of losing who it was that he was most attached to, he stopped at nothing to attempt to prevent that from happening— even if he must upturn the galaxy and harm the innocent. 

    ***

    Yoda: “Careful you must be when sensing the future, Anakin. The fear of loss is a path to the dark side.”

    Anakin: “I will not let these visions come true, Master Yoda.” 

    Yoda: “Death is a natural part of life. Rejoice for those around you who transform into the Force… [Extreme] Attachment leads to jealousy. The shadow of greed, that is.”

    Anakin: “What must I do, Master Yoda?”

    Yoda: “Train yourself to let go of everything you fear to lose”

    ***

    But if life is not without suffering, and that it is a fundamental, inevitable condition of humanity, how then, can we be freed from it? The Third Noble Truth answers this, as supported by Master Yoda’s wisdom above: by letting go. In order to alleviate the effect of suffering on our lives, we must first remember its source: attachment to impermanent desires and material wants. While it is perfectly human to desire and want, it is the tenacious chase over often-unrealistic desires and wants that we cannot fulfill as well as with the fear of losing already-attained pleasures that fills us with pain. We often mistakenly illusion ourselves that it is want and desire that holds on to us in a vice grip. We are conditioned that we must absolutely “get that job”, “own that big house”, “have a complete family”, or “make it big” in life. While these are ideal, can contribute to a meaningful life, and would be amazing to all have in our very own lives, we find that the world is never ideal. When despite our best efforts and resources we languish still chasing after these—perhaps, we can take a pause and discern with our wisdom if these goals still work for us realistically. Zen teaches us that it is we who clutch over these wants and desires— that we are indeed empowered to decide to loosen our own grip over them and ultimately let go of things that no longer work for us.  

    Suffice to say, mindfully “letting go” can be easier said than done. It is not something we can do overnight. It is a habit, a process, a series of learned behaviors that we must cultivate over time and train ourselves that it all becomes easier in the long run. In the same vein, we look at when Master Yoda trains a young Luke Skywalker in Dagobah. Luke, being a new Force-user, attempts to Force-pull his crashed ship out from sinking in the swamps with little yield and readily gives up. Master Yoda admonishes him, “You must unlearn what you have learned. Try not. Do, or do not. There is no try.” Thereafter, Master Yoda shows what a lifetime (in his case, over eight hundred years) of practice of The Force, a lifetime of meditation and practice of The Jedi Code cultivates this ability in incremental steps. These incremental steps of practicing mindfulness and training our minds to let go more readily, when done daily, snowballs in weeks, to months, and to years of mastery. We then see Luke in the more recent The Last Jedi movie, now a Jedi Master as was once Yoda before him, with the ability to easily muster the power of his mind and The Force exponentially more than when he was first trained in Dagobah. We often stop ourselves short on our own journeys towards changing the way we think towards wellbeing, telling ourselves punitively, “I can’t change,” or that “I’ll always be like this”. To circle back on Master Yoda’s words: “Do, or do not.” Like Luke’s journey of mastering his own mind and The Force, we must start somewhere, anywhere and decide to take the first step, keeping one foot after the other day after day in training our own minds to be more mindful.

    It then becomes a question of “how” we can cultivate a habit of readily and mindfully letting go of wants and desires that no longer serve us. This is where the Fourth Noble Truth of Zen comes in: The Eightfold Path. This Eightfold Path is a fundamental teaching in Buddhism that outlines the path towards the alleviation of suffering, consisting of eight interdependent and interconnected steps that guide us toward ethical conduct, mental discipline, and wisdom, ultimately leading us to health and well-being where we strike the balance between the extremes of self-indulgence and total self-denial (hence, The Eightfold Path also dubbed “The Middle Way”).  The Middle Way resonates powerfully with the canonical, alternate version to the original Jedi code (often criticized for having been written in an extremist perspective of only validating our “Light” sides) in newer Star Wars media, that establishes harmony with the Sith Code (which has also been written as an extremist perspective of only validating our “Dark” sides). In finding this synthesis with the Sith code, the existence of emotion is valued and heeded with peace, ignorance is forgiven and equipped with knowledge, passion is tempered by serenity, we find harmony with our chaos, and death or impermanence is accepted as a part of life. Hence, the balance between Light and Dark is struck, the duality of our persons and reality itself made meaningful and nuanced. 

    ***

    Emotion, yet peace.

    Ignorance, yet knowledge.

    Passion, yet serenity.

    Chaos, yet harmony.

    Death, yet the Force.

    An alternate version of The Jedi Code from the comic, Star Wars: Kanan 7th issue

    ***

    Among these steps in The Middle Way  or The Eightfold Path is The Right Mindfulness in cultivating this balance over our “Light” and “Dark” sides. What is mindfulness, exactly? Mindfulness has to do with the quality of awareness or the quality of presence one brings to daily living. In her Dialectical Behavioral Therapy Skills Manual, psychologist and Zen practitioner Marsha Linehan (2014) defines mindfulness as “a set of skills, a practice of intentional observing, describing, and participating in ‘what is’ nonjudgementally, without attachment in the moment, and with effectiveness”. Mindfulness as a practice is the repeated effort of directing the mind back to awareness of the present moment; a repeated effort of letting go of judgements and letting go of attachment to current thoughts, emotions, sensations, activities, events, or life situations.  To better understand mindfulness, we talk about “what” it is and “how” it is done. 

    On “what” mindfulness is, it is:

    1. Observing. It is attending to events, emotions, and behaviors without necessarily trying to put a stop to them when they’re uncomfortable or painful, or trying to prolong them when they’re pleasant. It is allowing yourself to experience and tolerate with awareness, in the moment, whatever is happening, rather than leaving a situation  or trying to put an end or prolong an emotion. It also includes the ability to discern whether an event, an emotion or behavior is coming up and being able to decide to step back and let go if need be. 
    2. Describing. It is applying verbal labels to internal and external events that we’re able to exercise effective communication with others so that they may understand us, and allows us to recognize the happenings in our internal worlds— our thoughts, emotions, and sensations— so that when they’re recognized, we are then able to decide how to treat with them. 
    3. Participating. It is the ability to participate with our attention and being able to enter oneself completely into the goings-on and events of the current moment, without completely separating from them. 

    On “how” mindfulness is done, we would think about how we can mindfully observe, describe, and participate:

    1. Nonjudgementally. It is quite human to judge, to evaluate things and events such as emotions or thoughts as “good” or “bad”. Instead, what mindfulness encourages us to do is to take a nonevaluative approach, wherein we drop our judgements of things and events as either falling in the binary of “worthwhile” and “worthless”; and rather see things happening as simply, outcomes or consequences of behaviors and events. Because of this shift in understanding, we learn to see that when these behaviors and events cause destructiveness and suffering upon oneself and/or others, we can uphold the space to decide on changing these behaviors or events. 
    2. One-Mindfully. This is about focusing the mind and awareness in the current moment’s activity, rather than splitting attention among several activities or between a current activity and thinking about something else in auto-pilot mode. Often, we’re distracted by thoughts and images of the past, worries about the future, relentless and punishing thoughts about our problems and our negative moods; that we forget to live in the present moment for what it is. When doing things one-mindfully, we focus our attention on one task at a time, engaging in it with alertness, awareness, and wakefulness.
    3. Effectively. Being mindful entails focusing on what works, rather than what is “right” versus “wrong”, or “fair” versus “unfair”. Being effective means allowing yourself to let go of the need to be or feel “right”. This determination to be “right” can in itself, be self-defeating, unrealistic, and sometimes harmful. However, we must strike a balance between validating our own perceptions, judgements, and decisions as “right” to an extreme, and giving in extremely such that we invalidate ourselves completely. 

    An exemplary example of mindfulness being illustrated in the Star Wars franchise is when Rey meets Luke Skywalker in The Last Jedi, coming forward under his tutelage and asking him about the true nature of The Force. She has very little idea of what harnessing The Force means, and so, he invites her to meditate and experience it for what it is. During this mindfulness exercise that he invites her to do, a meditative practice, she closes her eyes and attunes her full attention to what exists around her in the present moment— things often taken for granted when our attention is stuck thinking about the past and the future. Rey, during this meditative scene, perceives the world around her, accompanied by a visual montage that shows us that we can focus our attention to even the smallest and simplest of external things and events (such as the grass, the sunlight, the sound of the waves and creatures around her), and that doing so cultivates our ability to become mindful. 

    ***

    Luke: Sit here, legs crossed [tapping to a rock]. The force is not a power you have. It’s not about lifting rocks. It’s the energy between all things, a tension, a balance, that binds the universe together. Close your eyes. Breathe. Just breathe. Reach out with your feelings. What do you see?

    Rey: The island. Life. Death and decay, that feeds new life. Warmth. Cold. Peace, and violence. 

    Luke: And between it all…?

    Rey: …balance. Energy. A Force.

    Luke: And inside you…?

    Rey: Inside me, that same force.

    ***

    When Luke invites her to look inward, Rey finds that she can also be mindful of her internal workings, an awareness of both her Light and Dark, her hopes and fears. As she sits in meditation, she’s slowly led by her mind into her dark place. The emotions of anger and fear are ushered into her consciousness as dark imagery overwhelms her. She doesn’t resist the Darkness within her, but still acknowledges it; rather than to turn a blind eye to it and deny its existence. At times, our Dark side exists and resurfaces, simply mechanisms that have protected us in the past hard-wired overtime. Like Rey, we can see our Dark sides as what they are, see them eye-to-eye, acknowledge them and discern what it is they are telling us. In the words of Master Luke, “It offered you something you needed.” 

    While The Force doesn’t exist in our galaxy, we can still learn from how The Jedi use it to guide their lives. We can use these lessons about the Force as a gateway to studying mindfulness and putting practices into action.

    Ready to live The Jedi Way and practice mindfulness in your everyday life? Here are some mindfulness practices that you can do:

    In the words of Jedi master Qui-Gon Jinn, he reminds us, “Remember, concentrate on the moment. Feel, don’t think. Use your instincts.” He reminds a young Anakin before his podrace to be present in the current moment, to free his mind from distractions and overthinking. 

    Practice

    • Choose one activity that you do daily. It could be preparing or eating a meal, drinking your favourite beverage, listening to music, taking a walk outside or doing an exercise.
    • For five minutes, use your senses— touch, taste, smell, sight, hearing— and focusing your full attention to notice the sensations around you, whether it be the temperature of your beverage, how the soles of your feet touch the ground as you walk, or the the flavor of what you’re eating. 
    • When you notice your mind wander to anything else that is not in the present moment, acknowledge the distraction briefly, and redirect your attention to the activity that you are doing and the sensations that come with it. 

    Just like Jedi Masters who equip their Padawans (or students) with the practice of The Force, there are people in our lives that have helped us and made us who we are, supporting us along the way to become better and towards living a more meaningful life. For these things and people, we learn to count them as gifts that we may have taken for granted and only realize to give thanks when we pause. Remembering the people and things we are thankful for can help our minds mindfully attune to the positive things in our life.

    Practice:

    • Select any blank notebook as your gratitude journal. You may also use a document on a computer, or an app on your phone. 
    • Either just after you wake or right before bed, write down the date and at least three things or people you are grateful to have in your life, and write a sentence (or two) about why they make you feel this way. Your gratitude can be for something big or small. 
    • Occasionally look back through the journal and notice how much you have been grateful for. When you can, thank the people who have played a part in what you’re grateful for!

    In a moment of redemption in Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, Kylo Ren converses with the memory of his father, Han Solo, and voices out about his struggle to let go of his extreme anger, that which fuels his Dark Side, “I know what I have to do [to let go], but  I don’t know if I have the strength to do it.” To which his memory of his father replies to him, “You do.” In the same way, when we feel extremes of emotion, we feel like we have no control over them and are gripped by them. Mindfulness enables us to acknowledge our extreme waves of emotion and allow us to ride them until they tide over, tolerating them until we return to equilibrium. 

    Practice:

    • Whenever you think of an uncomfortable emotion, pause and notice it. Acknowledge what you are thinking (i.e. “I’m thinking that I’m not good enough”, “I’m having the thought that I might make a mistake.”) or what you’re feeling (i.e. “I don’t feel confident” or “I noticed I’m feeling anxious.)
    • As you notice your feelings, observe everything about it. How does your body react to it? What are the sensations you’re feeling? Perhaps you feel tension in your jaw, or your back muscles, or that you’re breathing much more quicker. Also notice how long you’re lingering on the thought or emotion. 
    • Ask yourself, “What are my feelings telling me? What is it that my body needs?” Perhaps it is to re-evaluate what we are doing, or to take a break and rest, or to advocate for ourselves and our needs.  
    • Remind yourself that feelings are temporary and will dissipate in due time, or can be likened like a wave that gets smaller as it reaches the shore. You may remind yourself, “This feeling will pass.” while stepping back and practicing techniques that help your body reach equilibrium (see: body scan and mindful breathing below).

    The Jedi practice being attuned to the sensations of their body, with their body to keep them in fighting fit form in protection of the innocent. With this attention to the state of their body and cultivating a more in-touch relationship with it,  we are more able to notice the way our body reacts to certain events and emotions, and when we’ve acknowledged these, we are signaled to listen to what it is we need to care for ourselves. 

    Practice: 

    • Sit down on a chair in your most relaxed position. Take deep breaths, inhaling through your nose and exhaling through your mouth slowly to center yourself. You may close your eyes or open them— whatever is most comfortable for you. 
    • Starting with your left foot, scan every part of your body— each toe, each joint— with your mind. The speed at which you scan depends on how much time you have, but the slower, the better. 
    • As you scan, note any sensations you feel, without focusing on why you might feel them. You may also sense nothing more than your internal systems doing their thing. That’s okay.
    • After you’ve scanned your body from your toes to your scalp, expand your awareness to your body as a whole. Focus on your breath, and gently open your eyes if they were closed, and bring yourself back in to the present. 

    As Master Luke trains Rey in harnessing The Force, he instructs her to, “Breathe. Just breathe.” While breathing is an automatic thing that our body does, we forget that it is something readily accessible to us to focus our minds on, with concentration and attention that helps us build our ability to become more mindful. Mindful breathing can help us concentrate and center ourselves in moments of emotional distraction and turmoil. Taking a moment for a few, deep, calming, oxygenating breaths can be useful before, during, and after situations that may be stressful to bring us back to balance. 

    Practice:

    • Sit with your back supported in a comfortable chair and your feet on the floor. Place your hand on your stomach. Close your eyes. 
    • Breathe in through your nose in four counts, feeling your stomach instead of your chest rise.
    • For the next four counts, hold the breath in your lungs, then for the next four counts, exhale through your mouth with pursed lips. Feel your stomach deflate slowly as you exhale. 
    • As you’ve completely exhaled, count to four before taking an inhale once more.
    • Repeat at least three more cycles of this. Notice the sensation of the air going through your nose, through the back of your throat and into your lungs. Notice as well the rising and falling of your hands on your stomach, keeping your attention to the act of breathing. 
    • Should your mind start to wander, notice it wandering and acknowledge the distraction, gently bringing back your attention to your breath each time. 

    Throughout the earlier movies (original and prequel trilogy) and media of the Star Wars franchise, The Force was thought to only be an ability that could only be accessed by a few gifted individuals who were taken to train under the Jedi or the Sith. In the newer movies (sequel trilogy), this is re-written. Luke teaches Rey under his tutelage in the sequel trilogy’s The Last Jedi that The Force is not a superpower, it is an energy that she can harness and has no owner; it moves freely within and among the beings of the universe. The Force belongs to every being. It is no longer about genetics (or midi-chlorian count), no longer about intelligence. It is simply anyone’s ability to notice without judgment, exactly like mindfulness. It is simply an ability that can be honed in due time when practiced. Like a muscle trained to lift in increasing incremental amounts, we, too— regardless of background, of stature, of origin— can train our own minds to become more mindful.  Luke’s messages are powerful, in the same way that we are empowered knowing our thoughts, feelings, and impulses are simply material that flows within us and do not define us.

    And like every Padawan in the quest of seeking mastery of The Force under a Jedi Master; we too, can seek help to empower ourselves in strengthening our capacity for mindfulness, either through reading books or articles, watching videos or documentaries, attending workshops and seminars, and enlisting the help of a trained mental health professional to help us train ourselves to become mindful in daily practice. With commitment to making it a habit like how the Jedi practice meditation daily, and allowing ourselves to acknowledge both our Light and Dark sides, we, too, can harness The Force, the mindfulness to overcome the challenges that we face in our lives while making it meaningful. May The Force be with you! 

    Sources:

    • Feichtinger, C. (2014). Space Buddhism: the adoption of Buddhist motifs in Star Wars. Contemporary Buddhism, 15(1), 28-43.
    • Friedberg, R. D., & Rozmid, E. V. (Eds.). (2022). Creative CBT with Youth: Clinical Applications Using Humor, Play, Superheroes, and Improvisation. Springer Nature.
    • Fuyu, & Fuyu. (2023, April 11). What is the Eightfold Path? | Zen-Buddhism.net. Zen Buddhism | SIMPLE WISDOM FOR HAPPY LIVING. https://www.zen-buddhism.net/what-is-the-eightfold-path/
    • Hayes, S. C., & Hofmann, S. G. (Eds.). (2018). Process-based CBT: The science and core clinical competencies of cognitive behavioral therapy. New Harbinger Publications.
    • Linehan, M. M. (2014). DBT Skills Training: manual. http://ci.nii.ac.jp/ncid/BB18848503
    • Ratcliffe, A. (2020). The Jedi Mind: Secrets from the Force for Balance and Peace. Chronicle Books.
    • The Human Condition. (2021, June 11). An Introduction to Zen Buddhism. https://thehumancondition.com/an-introduction-to-zen-buddhism/
    Categories
    Blog Everyday Thriving Thrive at Work

    Creating workplaces where “care” matters

    The month of October is Mental Health Month, and this year we are focusing on how to build workplaces that embody wellbeing. To learn more about our ongoing work with organizations to create these cultures of care in their workplaces, stay tuned for our upcoming activity Leading with Care: The Neuroscience and Practice of Leading a Culture of Care in the Workplace on 07 November 2023.

    In We Thrive, we look at mental health as the coming together of many different factors which determine the capacity of a person to live in a way that allows them to reach their fullest potentials. Of course, our individual exercise of our faculties is critical: how we cope with difficult experiences and savor positive ones; how we pay attention to how we feel and think about ourselves and the world; how we interact with others and take part in their lives; and so on. Nowadays, we refer to things like this using the umbrella term “self-care” (ISF, 2023). But as we probably already know, individual efforts are sometimes not enough to reach. We don’t always cope particularly well; we aren’t always able to stop and smell the roses; we aren’t always able to pay attention to what’s happening; and our ability to be part of other people’s lives, or let them be part of ours, is not always at its best. Sometimes, you need help. “The ability to ask for and obtain help is a valuable life skill,” as psychologist Debbie Sorensen puts it, partly as a comment to our culturally-ingrained hyper-focus on independence (Sorensen, 2022). So besides “self-care”, realizing our potentials includes the essential component of togetherness, where interdependence is just as prized as independence, and where reaching one’s potentials is not simply an individual effort. We can call this “community care”: as author and psychotherapist Minaa B. defines as “[using] our power, privilege, and resources to better the people who are both in and out of our scope of reach” (Minaa B., 2021). 

    The idea that “our wellbeing is contagious” gives us a sense of how embedded the impulses of community care actually is in our human makeup, and how our own health and flourishing depends as much on others as it does on our own efforts in ways that sometimes surprises us (Suttie, 2020). And in relation to workplace stress and one of the primary mental health challenges of “[managing] the pressures so that life is productive and enjoyable” (Teasedale, 2006), the idea of community care can provide a more integrative approach to ensuring the wellbeing of people in the context of groups and institutions. We know for example the consequences of a lack of consideration of wellbeing can be, with losses in the millions whether we’re referring to potential profits or working days lost to attrition or sick leaves (Graveling et al., 2008). Conversely, we know about the even greater benefits taking wellbeing seriously has to all kinds of organizational and business outcomes (Sears, Shi, Coberley, & Pope, 2013). But where do you begin? In this article, we want to share some advice about how to apply the concept of “community care” to thinking about how organizations can build up its practices towards creating workplaces where “care” is integral rather than supplemental to the overall business strategy.

    Thanks to some clever analysis of the literature, researchers were able to offer a more condensed definition of this widely and wildly defined idea of self-care: “The ability to care for oneself through awareness, self-control, and self-reliance in order to achieve, maintain, or promote optimal health and well-being” (Martínez, Connelly, Pérez, & Calero, 2021). Using these three concepts, we can organize our thinking about wellbeing along these lines and how they might apply to community care. How can workplaces create spaces and relationships where people can support each-other’s capacities for awareness, self-control, and self-reliance?

    1. Awareness. This is about the ability to monitor, measure, and interpret one’s experiences (or “symptoms”, as used in their paper). This awareness is the natural first step to achieving wellbeing: after all, you cannot act wisely without the appropriate information. Applied to community care, this means helping each-other bring attention to our concerns, whether this means identifying specific forms of support or simply articulating some difficulty in or out of work in order to have some much-needed emotional release. Besides this, it also means helping each-other bring attention to our wins, allowing us to become more present to moments worth celebrating and appreciating. And building on the idea of interpretation, awareness is about bringing attention to the “meaning” of experiences, and helping each-other discern how our experiences at work match up with our values, beliefs, goals, and how we want life to be in general.

    Reflection: Are employees afforded the necessary resources, opportunities, and structures to cultivate greater awareness? Do the relationships between peers and between team members and team leaders foster a sense of safety and security where people are not only able but encouraged to work together to identify, articulate, and respond to their experiences as a community?

    1. Self-control. In the words of Martínez and colleagues, self-control is the “product of a person acting as a unitary being and engaging in regulation and control of their self and emotions”. Achieving wellbeing, whether we like it or not, requires perseverance, sustained effort, and more than a little strategizing. Applied to community care, this means helping each-other initiate and build on the habits necessary for regulation, maximizing our individual abilities to contain and ground ourselves. It also means creating relationships and systems within the workplace that don’t unnecessarily tax these abilities. Borrowing the researchers’ use of the term, self-control in the context of community care means thinking of the community as a “unitary being”, where each person must in some ways exercise responsibility for another’s capacity to recover and return to states of calm and ease.

    Reflection: Are employees afforded the necessary resources, opportunities, and structures to cultivate greater self-control? Do the relationships between peers and between team members and team leaders foster that sense of trust that, to the extent possible, we can rely on one-another as a means of regulating when things get tough? 

    1. Self-reliance. Though not defined directly in the study, the researchers offered a case study about a man who “sustained a wound to his right leg when he slipped in a canyon” but that, while he “was aware of the injury”, the man “did not treat the wound, and his entire leg became swollen, red, and hot”. So while taking consideration of the case study’s particular context, we can think of self-reliance as our ability to initiate the appropriate actions by ourselves, which requires a level of self-efficacy, self-trust, and a general belief that we can do something with our circumstances. Applied to community care, this means helping each-other create the necessary cognitive and behavioral scaffolding in our work to both have the appropriate level of trust in our own abilities (remember: asking for help is an important skill) and the necessary skills for acting on that self-confidence in productive and meaningful ways. Using the case study, self-reliance is both about trusting that your team will help you with the wound and also about your team trusting you enough to at least clean and dress the wound first.

    Reflection: Are employees afforded the necessary resources, opportunities, and structures to cultivate greater self-reliance? Do the relationships between peers and between team members and team leaders create an environment that is not only challenging but also encouraging? 

    For mental health support services, email us at resilientteams@wethrivewellbeing.com or contact us to sign-up for sessions with our mental health clinicians.

    References (in order of appearance)

    1. https://isfglobal.org/what-is-self-care/ 
    2. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8488814/ 
    3. https://psyche.co/guides/how-to-ask-for-help-without-discomfort-or-apology 
    4. https://www.wellandgood.com/what-is-community-care/ 
    5. https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/why_taking_care_of_your_own_well_being_helps_others 
    6. https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S1476179306000188 
    7. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK75294/ 
    https://www.liebertpub.com/doi/full/10.1089/pop.2012.0114