This holiday season is like no other, marking the closing of an indescribable
year, for which hyperbole falls short. We were in a collective roller coaster of emotions.
Most certainly, we’ve had our share of shock, disbelief, confusion, sadness, grief, anger, fear, panic, exhaustion, numbness…Although perhaps just as real and present were moments of relief, calmness, openness, hope, warmth, kinship, and even gratitude. We’ve played host to this psychedelic rainbow of feelings. Being hospitable to how we feel is not always easy.
Many times, we don’t even want to pay attention to its knocking, until it forcefully barges right in!
We are not wired to welcome our difficult feelings, of which we’ve all had a great deal of in this time of planetary crisis. It’s a self-protective mechanism we’ve inherited from our ancestors to keep ourselves at a distance from danger. However, unfortunately, this inherent threat response can tag our own emotions as unsafe. The unhealthy consequence of keeping the door shut to our emotional experiences is that we become estranged to ourselves. We lose the opportunity to accept, understand, and love ourselves more deeply. More often than not, our feelings are not asking more than simply to be validated, that is to acknowledge their presence without being judged or dismissed. They just need a place to lay down and rest for a while.
The holidays can be a time of busyness, stress, and distraction.
Giving in to these “holiday demands” could lead to even more emotional distress and shortchange us from the true gifts this season has to offer.
This year of radical change and disruption gives us a most compelling invitation to practice the warmest hospitality to our inner lives. We can choose to open the door into moments of silence and solitude, creating a manger for the wisdom and growth that can bud within us, when we choose to pause and look inside, see how we really are, appreciate who and what we have, ask what truly matters to us, and allow our experiences to be our teachers. Research on wellbeing tells us that cultivating wellbeing rests on our practice of awareness, connection, insight, and purpose. It all begins with opening the door and being hospitable to ourselves. Karl Rahner, a Jesuit theological scholar, said about Christmas,
“This feast takes place within you, even within your very self. It takes place within you when you are silent…”
We can make wellbeing the centerpiece of our feasting in these most extraordinary times. Find quiet moments, read a book that makes you happy, make an inventory of what you’re grateful for, put your planning mind on pause, flow into moments of connection with loved ones, meditate and pray, write on your journal, spend time enjoying the living world. There are varied and creative ways to experience being present to ourselves. Open the door and let yourself in.
We Thrive’s Suggested Resources for Wellbeing During the Holidays: