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Teaming to Thrive

Teaming to Thrive

By now it has become quite evident that the only way forward is to adapt to

a new reality where there is no “normal.” We have been turbulently oscillating like particles in a snow globe, adjusting to change and disruption at every turn. This is felt by organizations and workplaces everywhere. We are facing a massive evolution and we need to pay attention to what it’s teaching us that will enable us to survive and even thrive. One of the most important learnings has been that we cannot afford to sacrifice human wellbeing, particularly in the workplace where chronic stress has been at a crisis level even prior to the pandemic (World Health Organization, 2019). The pandemic has amplified this crisis to a tipping point that can no longer be ignored. Harvard Business Review (What Covid Has Done to Our Well-being, February 2021) reports from a worldwide survey conducted in 46 countries that 85% of respondents (mostly knowledge workers) said their general wellbeing has declined since the start of the pandemic while 89% indicated a decline in their workplace wellbeing. 

Many workplaces worldwide have been realizing the value of taking action on the mental health and wellbeing needs of their employees. We can see this shifting consciousness as a positive transformation that can emerge from this crisis. However, deep change requires commitment to culture-building initiatives that foster workplace conditions where people can feel safe, supported, and inspired to grow. An important aspect of cultivating a wellbeing culture is by being intentional about teaming practices.

Being part of a caring and supportive team buffers employees from chronic stress and burnout by making people feel safe to connect, contribute, be creative, and even to be challenged.

When Google conducted Project Aristotle in 2016, a research on what makes a sustainable high performing team, they found that the most critical factor in determining team success was psychological safety (The New York Times, February 2016).

Harvard organizational scientist Amy Edmondson describes psychological safety as “a shared belief held by members of a team that the team is safe for interpersonal risk taking.”

Administrative Science Quarterly, 1999

Safety in our social environment primes our nervous system to be calm, open, and receptive to others as opposed to being defensive, rigid, and hostile. 

Team leaders and managers play an essential role in modeling and initiating skillful teaming practices. However, each team member has the opportunity to effect change toward building a safe and compassionate team culture. We cannot leave successful teaming to chance, especially in these times of remote work when so many are feeling the strain of social isolation. Having meaningful connections, feeling that you matter, and participating in shared goals can nurture our wellbeing. What is good for our wellbeing also translates into productivity with less “efforting” and struggle.  It’s about harnessing the power of human interconnection and it’s what has enabled the human race to survive and continue to thrive as a species.               

Effective teaming needs consistency and doesn’t happen overnight. But the yields far outweigh the investment. Whether your team is just taking first steps or farther along in the journey, we encourage you to try these teaming practices as a way of fortifying individual and collective wellbeing.  

1. Integrate Mindfulness to Strengthen Self-Awareness and Self-Regulation

Building psychologically safe teams requires that each member learns to take responsibility for managing their feelings, thoughts, and behaviors. Trust and healthy risk-taking can only flourish if we know that people around us have the ability to interact skillfully and compassionately. Mindfulness creates the space, the pause, so that we can step back and become aware of what is happening within and outside of us. By practicing mindfulness we empower ourselves to engage in a wise response instead of giving in to an urge that might hurt others and ourselves. 

  • Minute to Arrive- Give a minute of silence at the start of each meeting for everyone to take a few breaths and be fully present. This helps calm the mind and set the atmosphere for mindful communication. (Source: SIYLY Adaptive Resilience Team Practices)
  • Midpoint Check-In- A mid-point check-in introduces a pause in the middle of a meeting to reflect on how the conversation is going. It can be guided by questions such as, “How am I feeling about this?”, “Are we listening to everyone?”, “What perspective are we missing?”, “What’s getting in the way of us moving forward?” (Source: SIYLY Adaptive Resilience Team Practices)
  • Set team norms for being present by closing emails and chats, silencing phones/notifications, making eye contact and listening actively during meetings. 

2. Building Empathy 

Empathy enables us to connect with and respect the feelings and perspectives of others. Having differences and misunderstandings will always be part of our team experience. Empathy gives us the capacity to bridge these differences by understanding and validating where the other person is coming from. 

  • Appreciations and Acknowledgements- Set aside a few minutes during a meeting during which team members are invited to acknowledge or appreciate someone in the team.
  • Opening Check-In- Do a round to check-in at the beginning of each meeting by having each person share responses to prompts such as, “How are you arriving to this meeting?” “What is something that gives you hope/strength?”, “How do you need to feel supported right now?” 
  • Check Assumptions- Remote work settings can present challenges in communication because we have less information to accurately perceive each other’s tone, emotions, and intentions. When a text message or e-mail makes you feel uncomfortable or agitated, suspend judgment, and take a moment to directly connect with the person through a quick call or video chat.

3. Strengthen Team Bonds

By taking time to share moments of connection, we build the trust and belief that team members have each other’s best interests in mind. With this comes honesty and vulnerability. As ropes of connection become stronger, people gradually become more willing to lower their waterlines.  Remote work does not have to hinder teams from experiencing creative and enjoyable ways to connect online. 

  • Wellbeing Buddy- Team members can pair-up to support each other on their wellbeing aspirations by checking-in with each other on their self-care practices, sharing resources, and simply providing space for compassionate listening. Buddies can be rotated every couple of months.  
  • Hang-outs- Create spaces for team members to interact without an agenda. This can be through a 15-minute hang-out time before a meeting, a virtual group lunch, or coffee break. Hang-outs could also be a time to share hobbies and recreational interests.

4. Getting Better at Having Difficult Conversations

Effective teaming requires honesty and courage to have difficult conversations. When team members experience positive outcomes from approaching instead of avoiding difficult conversations, psychological safety is reinforced and team members become more confident in their ability to manage these situations in the future.  

  • Rehearse Difficult Conversations- Teams can proactively discuss and establish a skillful process for having difficult conversations without waiting for problems to occur. Create a mock scenario and have team members contribute to the team’s “best practices” for managing a difficult conversation. These best practices can then become the team’s ground rules for when actual situations arise.    
  • Anchor on Common Ground- Help team members work through disagreements by shifting the perspective to what they have in common, what their best intentions are, and what they both want to achieve.  

Cultivating a workplace culture that is psychologically safe is nuanced–it isn’t as simple as it sounds. There are existing workplace structures, hierarchies, personalities and other factors to consider. And it is also not an impossible goal.

Contact us to get started on cultivating psychological safety in your workplace.

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Blog Everyday Thriving

Facing Difficult Times: Practices for Thriving Amidst Uncertainty

thriving through uncertainty

“Handling our suffering is an art. If we know how to suffer, we suffer much less, and we’re no longer afraid of being overwhelmed by the suffering inside.”

Thich Nhat Hanh, Zen Master and Peace Activist

Recent developments in our global fight against the COVID-19 pandemic has thwarted many plans for re-opening and “returning to normal” in different parts of the world. With the Delta variant getting ahead of vaccination efforts, the sight of an end to the pandemic has become more hazy and uncertain. Lockdowns are continuing and with it our experience of prolonged social isolation, limited recreational opportunities, and heightened anxiety about our safety and security. There is no way around facing our present reality but to see it as it is. Among the Four Noble Truths taught by the Buddha, the first one is to recognize that suffering is part of life. In the same way,

resilience doesn’t come from denying or downplaying the challenges we’re confronted with.

In fact a significant factor in surviving extreme adversity, according to resilience research, is facing down reality—taking a sober, down-to-earth view of our situation (Diane L. Cuotu, How Resilience Works, Harvard Business Review, 2015). 

Cultivating resilience amidst hardship is a practice that requires intention and brave inner work, that is being willing to roll up our sleeves to sharpen our “inner game.” It would be gravely misleading to paint a picture of resilience being born out of merely “thinking positive” and keeping ourselves distracted from our unpleasant emotions. These so-called coping tools will easily break under the weight of prolonged hardship. We need to think of resilience cultivation in terms of  samurai or dojo training, seeing ourselves as warriors-in-training, strengthening our skills to meet difficulty with the power of our inner practice. These times invite us to harness our deeper human capacities, the gift of awareness that opens the door to acceptance, that opens the door to wisdom, that opens the door to skillful action, that opens the door to inner solidity and genuine resilience. We invite you to cultivate resilience through these dojo practices of radical acceptance, searching for meaning, and opening to what’s new. As we practice these skills, we learn what the Zen Master Thich Nhat Hanh calls the art of suffering. These practices don’t just benefit ourselves, but also enable others to experience the wholesome ripples of energy that we create when we are deeply grounded. These are times for brave work and we all have it within us to make it happen. 

PRACTICES FOR CULTIVATING RESILIENCE AMIDST UNCERTAINTY 

Radical Acceptance

Psychologist and philosopher William James once said, “The first step in overcoming any misfortune is to allow it to be.” Radical acceptance is a practice that enables us to break through the inner resistance to painful events and emotions that come our way.  It means accepting our present reality totally and completely, with our mind, heart, and body. By meeting our hardship with radical acceptance, we stop fighting reality which causes a build-up of stress and tension in our minds and bodies.

Radical acceptance doesn’t mean that we approve of what happened and what’s happening. It is not giving up or giving in. It is acknowledging reality so we can direct our psychological and emotional resources to move forward and effectively face our challenges.   

We can pause and spend some time asking ourselves, “What am I resisting?” The first step is to simply observe and notice our resistance to the way things are. We can then notice where and how the resistance is showing up in our body, the way we’re holding on to tension, in our feelings of resentment, and in our looping thoughts about how reality should be. As we become aware of resistance, it is often helpful to meet it with an embodiment of acceptance—taking mindful breaths to create internal space, opening our palms and half-smiling to inhabit a posture of willingness, and being patient with resistance if it feels immovable. We don’t have to fight with our resistance. Radical acceptance is a process which can start with accepting the resistance that we’re experiencing in this moment. When we’re getting stuck with resistance, we can also ask ourselves, ‘What’s the threat?” The response to this question allows us to filter through the factors we can control and to focus our attention on what we can do instead of continuing to fight what we can’t change.        

Searching for Meaning

The ability to see reality is closely linked with resilience. Resilient people build bridges from adversity to possibility by devising a constructive view of their suffering. In his book Man’s Search for Meaning, Austrian psychiatrist and holocaust survivor, Viktor Frankl recounted his experience of being in the concentration camp, facing immense suffering and the reality of death every day.  Frankl discovered that in order to survive, he had to find some purpose. Frankl created goals such as imagining himself giving lectures in psychology and helping others understand what happened during the war so that humanity can learn from its hard lessons.  Finding and creating meaning carried him through what appeared to be a hopeless situation. Post-war, he went on to become a pioneer in developing meaning therapy. 

As we face hard times, we can resist the impulse to view ourselves as a victim and to blame life. Rather, we can look at our suffering from an angle that enables us to create meaning for ourselves and others. A question we can ask ourselves is, “When this hardship has ended, who will I become? What will I have learned? How could I rebuild my life in a way that unleashes my true potential?” 

Opening to the New

Looking back over the past 18 months since we’ve experienced this drastic change in our world, what has changed within us? What has changed in our life? Change can trigger our fears and insecurities as we face what’s unfamiliar and uncomfortable. However, these moments of disruption, are also meant to catalyze our growth and development.

If we are mindful and aware, we can use our struggles as a starting point for transformation.

By being aware of how we are experiencing changes and transitions in our lives, we can support the arc of our growth, the larger picture of our journey as a human being. 

Jeremy Hunter, author and founder of Executive Mind Leadership, outlines three important stages in opening to the new, each stage requiring unique efforts.

  1. The first stage involves seeing and acknowledging that something has ended. We have to admit that something familiar and comfortable has come to an end. It is important that we take time to properly mourn what we’ve lost. We need to ask ourselves, “How am I experiencing an ending? What am I being asked to let go of?” We might be invited to accept our sadness, our grief, our feelings of loss.
  2. The second stage is the in-between period, the middle zone of forming a new pattern. Like a caterpillar in the middle of transforming into a butterfly, we need to surrender to transformation.
  3. This stage involves facing the discomfort of being uncertain, unstable, and unclear. Our anxiety can get activated by being in this awkward in-between stage. But by recognizing that evolution is transpiring, we can become more forbearing with our discomfort. We can flow with the opportunity to explore and experiment with new ways of living our lives, to keep trying, and moving ahead. Eventually, there will be a gradual emergence into the third stage where we welcome new energy, rebirth, and renewal. 

    By allowing versus resisting change, we open ourselves to the inner expansion that makes our lives fuller. 
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Steering a Ship Amidst Stormy Seas: How Anxiety Can Affect Executive Functions and What You Can Do About It

executive functions

The COVID-19 pandemic has impacted our lives on an unprecedented scale.

With the social distancing measures and enhanced community quarantine, many people around the world have to contend with a “new normal”.  In a snap of a finger, our lives have suddenly changed. The old routines we used to have that put order into our lives and made us feel safe have to be set aside for new ways of living.  Our situation demands us to make dramatic adjustments in a very short span of time. We are compelled to come to terms with the loss of certain freedoms and continue carrying on despite uncertainty and fear.   On top of these, we experience the constant feelings of unease and worry, perhaps even pain and grief, over how COVID-19 has affected our lives and those of our loved ones. 

During this difficult time in our lives, we need to keep our wits about us. We need to be focused, flexible, and exercise frustration tolerance.  In other words, we need our executive functions to do its job so that we can adapt effectively. When we talk about executive functions, we refer to those set of higher skills we all have which help us plan and organize, solve problems, remember things, make decisions, keep our impulses and emotions in check, and achieve things we set out to do.

Our executive functions help us adapt to change.

However, when we are in a state of heightened or ongoing stress, or when our anxiety intensifies and gets too overwhelming, it affects our executive functions.  

The way our brain works is that the prefrontal cortex, or the part of the brain used for thinking and regulating/controlling, interact with the deeper structures of our brain called limbic system, which have to do with emotions and motivation. Whenever our emotions become too intense particularly when we are faced with something threatening or dangerous, and we are in state of constant stress, these deeper limbic structures tend to take over, overpowering the thinking, regulating parts of the brain. We shift to a feeling mode, rather than a thinking mode. The fight-flight-freeze response kicks in.  

How can anxiety and chronic stress affect the way our executive functions work?

  • Impulse and emotional control – We tend to react based on our feelings at the moment. We make rash decisions, some of which are driven by our fears. We get more irritable or become easily annoyed. Our emotions get the best of us. 
  • Working memory –  When we are very anxious, it’s very hard to concentrate and remember what we need to keep in mind. we could be making mental notes of things we need to do, but we lose track of what they are.  So we might be making a trip to the grocery store only to forget an important item or two we were meaning to buy.  Or, we want to remember a lot of things at the same time, like the different numbers to ways to access an online store or hospital, how to maintain proper hygiene, or what COVID-19 symptoms to look out for. But, because we are being bombarded with so much information day after day, our brain reaches its limit and we up “mentally losing” or forgetting the information we want to remember.  
  • Saliency determination – In other words, figuring out and focusing on what we think is important. When we are very anxious and stressed, we might lose sight of the big picture. Instead, we get tunnel vision. We have an increased vigilance about what’s threatening. This means what we pay more attention to the negative, worrisome information for instance those related to the COVID-19 pandemic, because it feels more important at the moment. However, we end up disregarding our positive or hopeful sources of information we need to cope in a healthy way.  
  • Task initiation or completion – When we get overwhelmed by anxiety, we tend to put things off, especially those that demand so much thinking and analyzing. So for those of us working from home, we might experience difficulty starting on a work-related email or report.  Sometimes, we set aside the chores or tasks we need to attend to, and prefer to distract ourselves with other activities. 
  • Flexibility – This refers to our capacity to shift our perspective, the ease in which we transition from an old to a new routine, and our ability to creatively problem solve and adapt. The rapid yet dramatic changes brought by the COVID-19 pandemic challenges our flexibility. Some of us might feel very stressed and uncomfortable having to stay home if we are used to an active social life. We feel inconvenienced and irritated by the sudden change in our routine. Others might have to learn new ways of using or maximizing technology, especially those working from home and managing work online.  We have to find new ways to keep busy, earn a living and stay healthy. And sometimes, it’s easier said than done, especially when our brains are already wired towards certain habits that we’ve grown accustomed to. 

So, how do we keep our wits about us to manage our day to day life despite living at a time of chronic stress and uncertainty?

How do we use our executive functions to stay anchored in the midst of a great storm? 

  • Do something calming. Instead of telling yourself to “Calm down!”, do something calming instead.  It’s important that you first find ways to reasonably tame your anxiety so that you can effectively apply executive function skills. Think about things you typically do that calm you down. It works better if these consists of healthy or health-promoting activities. Write this down in a list and pick from any of these activities whenever you feel overwhelmed. Another think you can do is make a new routine. Routines are also calming. Create a sense of predictability within your home by using routines or schedules for working, eating, sleeping, and other pleasurable, leisure activities. If you feel overwhelmed, take a step back from whatever you’re doing. Try to decrease the stimulation by going to a quiet room and do some slow breathing. Gaze softly at the movement of the leaves outside your window or the clouds passing by. If you feel agitated, try doing some slow, mindful movements.  
  • Activate your inner observer. Each of us has the ability for metacognition, which  means our awareness and understanding of our thought processes. By activating your inner observer, you track what is going on in your mind and become aware when you are already experiencing lapses in your executive functions or when you’re already letting your emotions get the best of you. This momentary pause will give you the opportunity to make a wiser choice about how to best respond, rather than react, to the given situation. 
  • Use strategies. If you recognize that stress and anxiety make it very hard for you to stay productive, remember things, or manage your home effectively, it’s okay. You don’t need to pressure yourself with mental calisthenics to overcome these weaknesses. Instead, why not use some strategies to help your brain along? For example:
    • If you feel yourself becoming more forgetful when you’re anxious, write things down or record this in your cellphone.
    • Use a calendar app for reminders if this works for you.
    • Color code tasks you’ve written down in your to-do list so you can easily see which are more urgent than others. 

If you feel like you’re getting stuck or you’ve ran out of solutions, gather more information or tips to give you more ideas.  Those working from home might find it hard to start on job-related tasks. You could begin with easier ones to get those wheels turning before moving on to the harder tasks.  

  • Use a growth mindset  and practicing self-compassion – You don’t need to beat yourself up over executive function lapses or mistakes. Instead, use these as opportunities to learn, to figure out what works for you and what doesn’t. In a way, whenever we are taken out of comfortable habits or routines and thrust into unfamiliar territory, this is actually a learning opportunity for all of us. Any chance to test our limits and creativity, to firm up our frustration tolerance, and discover things about ourselves outside of our comfort zone, is a learning opportunity.  More importantly, we should give ourselves generous doses of self-compassion – or being warm and kind towards ourselves when we make mistakes, fall short, and encounter personal shortcomings.  After all, we are all imperfect in some way or the other!

If you skimmed through the post, here’s a summary

Anxiety and stress can affect how your executive functions work. It interferes with your capacity to stay focused, organized, remember things, make decisions, finish tasks, and be a flexible problem solver.  You become reactive rather than responsive. In order to gain a handle on anxiety and allow your executive functions to work well for you, you first need to do something calming, pause from time to time and check your thoughts and feelings, use strategies to help you get around those weaknesses. And more importantly, use these challenges as learning experiences and temper these with a good dose of warmth and kindness towards yourself.  

Take care everyone! 

*Executive Functioning (EF) coaching is one of the clinical services offered by We Thrive. Contact us today to learn more.

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Blog Everyday Thriving Wellbeing Practices

Answering Your Questions on Mental Health (Part 2)

mental health

Last February, during the We Thrive launch (Route 2.1), we received so many questions
during the open forum. Since then, we’ve gotten even more questions through our social media and during the corporate webinars we conduct. Here are 5 more answers to frequently asked questions:

Q: What are examples of situations that cause mental health issues such as depression and anxiety in the workplace and how should this be addressed by the employee or the company?

In 2019, even prior to the pandemic, the WHO already called attention to burnout as a workplace crisis around the world. Burnout is a syndrome that is specifically attributed to unmanaged work-related stress. It is characterized by energy depletion or exhaustion, disconnection or feelings of negativity related to one’s job, and reduced work efficacy or productivity. Burnout increases the risk of developing mental health problems, most common of which are depression and anxiety disorders. There are a combination of individual and job-related factors that could affect one’s risk for burnout. Individual factors include your biological sensitivity or reactivity to stress, unmet psychological needs, the lack of coping and stress management skills, and a problem-focused mindset or negativity bias. On the other hand, job-related triggers to burnout include problems with job design, lack of support from teammates and managers, not having enough opportunities for career development, emotionally unsafe workplace culture, and absence of work-life balance. 

Mental health and wellbeing in the workplace are best addressed through prevention efforts in order to mitigate stress injuries that can cause more damage. Examples of prevention activities are having open and honest discussions about mental health, promoting self-care and team-care practices, strengthening peer support, cultivating a compassionate culture, training managers in the interpersonal aspects of their role in order to support their team members more effectively, and carefully examining systems and practices that make it more difficult for employees to experience work-life balance. The availability of individual consultations with mental health professionals also enables employees to have a safe space not just in addressing problems or challenges but also in proactively developing a wellbeing plan.  

Q: What’s the simplest thing we could do whenever we feel overwhelmed?

We need to understand how stress and anxiety reactions are triggered in order to manage them effectively. Our nervous system has evolved through millions of years with safety and protection as a priority. It is constantly scanning for possible danger—real or imagined, and activates a response to keep us safe. In our present situation with the pandemic, cumulative fears and stressors can cause our threat response to become over-activated. This has become a very common experience among many people all over the world.  The key to managing feelings of overwhelm and anxiety is to be aware and intentional so that we can stay in the driver’s seat of our mind, responding instead of reacting. 

When feeling overwhelmed, it is important to pause. In a state of overwhelm, we do not think clearly,  we’re likely to pay more attention to negative or problematic aspects of a situation, and we tend to give in to urges or impulses that don’t lead to skillful or effective coping. Pausing could mean taking a break from thinking, going out for a walk, taking a moment to calm your mind through breathing or engaging in a recreational activity, perhaps talking to a trusted friend. Pausing doesn’t mean you’re not going to address the problem. It means slowing down to prevent hydroplaning. When we pause, we help deactivate our threat response and put ourselves in an internal state that can empower us to deal with the situation in a constructive way. And when you’re ready to re-engage with the problem, ask yourself, what is within my control? Focusing on what we can versus what we can’t control decreases our helplessness.     

Q: How can we avoid or fight the negative thoughts that trigger anxiety and depression?

Resilience does not mean always feeling or thinking positive. Resilience involves being able to face down reality, not denying the challenges that we need to confront and manage in order to successfully adapt to reality. We can develop a curious and observing mind towards our thoughts. Often times we assume our thoughts to be truths, when actually, many times they are just projections of our fears, traumas, and judgments. When negative thoughts arise, observe it with curiosity and practice “checking the facts.” How do we “check the facts”? Pay attention to the thought, how am I interpreting this situation? Practice looking at all sides of a situation. Are there possible alternative interpretations or explanations? Does my assumption fit the facts? If there’s a realistic danger, ask yourself, what’s the worst that can happen? Imagine how you can cope well with the worst-case scenario and plan a constructive response.   

Q: Can you provide us some tips on how to manage our stress as it affects my physical and mental health. I feel tired despite having enough hours of sleep.

Sleep is a fundamental aspect of wellbeing. Studies show getting enough high-quality sleep can positively affect your energy, activity, mood, weight, and more. It’s possible for us to sleep long hours but not feel restored if we spend a lot of time being restless and not getting enough deep sleep. The following practices could help improve the quality of our sleep:

  1. exercising earlier in the day or at least 3 to 4 hours before you go to sleep
  2. maintaining consistent sleep schedule
  3. doing deep breathing exercises to shift your body and mind into a more relaxed state as you prepare for sleep,  and
  4. cutting back on caffeine and sugar especially after 3:00 pm.

Aside from getting good sleep, we can reduce our vulnerability to stress with these practices: 

  • Moving regularly breaks up sedentary time and can help improve our wellbeing. For example, you can set a goal of moving 250 steps every hour, which would roughly equal a few minutes of walking. The WHO recommends 150 minutes of moderate or 75 minutes of vigorous activity weekly. 
  • According to UCSF Health Psychologist, Dr. Elissa Epel, dietary patterns emphasizing whole foods (i.e., foods that have not been processed or refined) were associated with lower depression, anxiety and stress, whereas a Western dietary pattern (i.e., high intake of sugar, fat, red meat, processed food, refined grains, high-fat dairy) was associated with a higher risk of poor mental health. 
  • The practice of mindfulness has been shown in numerous studies to decrease stress and improve our general wellbeing. Mindfulness is the practice of slowing down to pay attention to the present moment as it unfolds with curiosity and non-judgment. You can take your first steps with mindfulness by stopping for a minute or two to breathe, simply paying attention to the in-breath and the out-breath. Mindfulness is an anchor to the present moment that helps us not get carried away by busyness, worrying, or strong emotions. If you want to develop and deepen your mindfulness practice, try using an app such as Insight Timer, Healthy Minds, Headspace, or Calm.  
Q: How do we know that it’s time to check with a professional?

In general, professional help might be needed if you experience the following (www.mayoclinic.org):

  • Marked changes in personality, eating or sleeping patterns
  • An inability to cope with problems or daily activities
  • Feeling of disconnection or withdrawal from normal activities
  • Unusual or bizarre thinking
  • Excessive anxiety
  • Prolonged sadness, depression or apathy
  • Thoughts or statements about suicide or harming others
  • Substance misuse
  • Extreme mood swings
  • Excessive anger, hostility or violent behavior

Many people experience mental health problems but avoid seeking help out of shame or fear. If you are concerned about your mental health, don’t hesitate to seek professional support because addressing mental health problems in its early phase will make it easier for you to recover. It’s also a big misconception to think that you have to be “crazy,” desperate, or on the brink of a meltdown to see a mental health professional. Most people can benefit from talking to a nonbiased professional without fear of judgment to deal with life issues, make important decisions, or to simply learn how to get better at self-care.    

Have more questions or interested in mental health and wellbeing programs for your company? Contact us and we’ll help you get started.

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Blog Everyday Thriving

Everyday Thriving: Father’s Day Edition

thriving

Psychological research across families from all ethnic backgrounds suggests that fathers’ affection and increased family involvement help promote children’s social and emotional development.

American Psychological Association

The concept of a modern day father has garnered a lot of interest not just within the context of day-to-day life but in research as well.

At We Thrive, we believe in the father’s important role in human development and the wellbeing of the family as a whole. And we also acknowledge that mental health and wellbeing needs of fathers are not as talked about as that of their children’s

This father’s day, we want to share some insights from one renaissance dad–our very own Dr. Carlos Pizarro.

Dr. Carlos has an established career as a dentist and a mental health clinician. Outside of work, Dr. Carlos is a family man, an active leader in church and non-profit organizations and he is also a musician. Learn more from his insights on fatherhood, self-care and skills for everyday thriving:

What are your practices for Everyday Thriving?

We Thrive celebrates all the men in our lives wearing different hats, our first superheroes, and guides, this day is for you. Happy Father’s Day!

Sources:

American Psychological Association. (2009, September 8). The changing role of the modern day father. http://www.apa.org/pi/families/resources/changing-father

Stambor, Z. (2005, December). Meet the renaissance dad. Monitor on Psychology, 36(11). http://www.apa.org/monitor/dec05/renaissance

Hazlegreaves, S. (2020, February 19). Why mental health for modern day dads is a hidden but fast-growing issue. Open Access Government. https://www.openaccessgovernment.org/mental-health-for-modern-day-dads/82686/

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Blog Everyday Thriving News & Events Wellbeing Practices

The ABC’s of Resilience

resilience

Last month, Dr. Joanna Herrera delivered the commencement address for
Miriam College Middle School, where she shared key insights on building resilience with the graduating 7th graders.

Here is an excerpt of that address, highlighting the ABC’s of Resilience:

“You’ve probably heard the word resilience many times over the course of the pandemic. We are told that we need to develop our resilience. Resilience means the ability to bounce back from difficulties—like when you drop a ball on the ground, and it comes right back up instead of staying on the ground. How do we become resilient? The good news is that neuroscientists tell us that we can train our brains, our minds, to be resilient. If we practice resilience, it grows stronger and becomes part of who we are. So, let’s get to our ABC’s of resilience. 

The A of resilience is Awareness and Acceptance.

We talked about all those big feelings we’re having about the pandemic. We need to turn to our feelings with awareness and acceptance. Not pushing our feelings away, not blaming ourselves for having feelings, not being harsh to ourselves when we’re not feeling ok.

Resilience is not about feeling ok all the time. It’s more about being aware of our internal weather patterns—our moods and emotions and being compassionate to ourselves.

We can say to ourselves, I hear you my sadness, I hear you my boredom, I hear you my fear…let me take care of you. We might want to give our feelings some soothing breaths, in and out. Our breath is a powerful tool for calming feelings. When our feelings are calm, we can think more clearly and make better choices. And perhaps we can reach out to our parents, family members, friends and tell them about how we feel so we are not alone with our emotions.  

The B of resilience is Building Competency.

Awareness allows us to see where we are. Building competency means strengthening our muscles—that is mentally and psychologically, to adopt a mindset and perspective that help us grow. I have a favorite quote from Jon Kabat-Zinn, a famous Mindfulness teacher. He said,

We can’t stop the waves, but we can learn how to surf.

Many times, we are not in control of situations that come up in our lives, big situations just like this pandemic, or everyday things, like getting through schoolwork. But we have a choice to get on our surfboard and not drown. Adopting a growth mindset is an important competency for resilience. Growth mindset means, changing how we talk to ourselves when we make mistakes or face challenges. Instead of saying to ourselves, “I’m not as good as others”, “I won’t try because I might fail”, “I can’t do this, it’s too hard” we can say, “I can learn and practice,” “I will succeed with effort and finding the right strategy,” “If I fail, I can try again until I make it.” People who learn to talk to themselves in this way, become more successful in accomplishing their goals in life. Start practicing now. When negativity arises, open the door of possibility. Your mind has the power to change reality when you choose the right angle to see things from—that is the angle of growth and possibility. Lastly,

The C of resilience stands for Connection.

Strong connections with our friends, our families, our teachers, and even our human family around the world is so essential to our wellbeing. We as human beings are wired to connect, to empathize, to care. While this is a time for physical distancing, it is not a time for social distancing. On the other hand, it is a time for presence and compassion, making each other feel we are here, and we are together. Reach out for support when you’re feeling lonely. Make it a habit to have meaningful connections everyday with your family by putting your gadgets aside during mealtimes and be 100% present. Reach out to your friends who you think might be having a hard time, listen and simply be there.

When we feel connected with one another, we feel safe, calm, and collected. 

We can also practice connecting with our goals and our sense of purpose and take small actions to contribute to the greater good—it can be cheering up a friend, helping with chores at home, baking treats for your grandparents, offering a prayer for those who are sick.

Your small actions can have big impact. Do not underestimate your power to make this world a better place.  

As Dr. Jabby emphasized in her commencement address, resilience is a skill that can be learned and practiced. Want to learn more about resilience and other wellbeing practices? Reach out so we can help get you started.

Categories
Blog Wellbeing Practices

Beat Languishing Through Connection

languishing

Lather, rinse, repeat. What used to be three words at the back of a shampoo
bottle has become descriptive of day-to-day life in lockdown. Some of my clients compared it to living in the 1993 movie “Groundhog Day” where everyday seems to just go on a loop. Have we all just succumbed to living the life of a hamster on its wheel? Tired yet spinning, nonetheless? 

Earlier this month, the New York Times released an article providing us a name for what we are collectively feeling. Adam Grant, an organization psychologist and author of the said article, revealed the word that perfectly encapsulated our “blah’s”, “meh’s” and “oof’s”: Languishing. Languishing is the uncomfortable in between, the waiting room in a dentist’s clinic, the pause before announcing the winner to your favorite reality TV contests, the days between the next episode of your favorite Disney + Marvel series, and more specifically, the moment we are in: the race between COVID-19 vaccines rolling out and COVID-19 variants creeping in.

SCIENCE SAYS…

So if languishing is the middle with mental illness and mental wellness on either end, how do we tilt the scale towards wellness? First, let’s understand why it’s so easy to slide towards mental unwellness in the midst of the pandemic.

According to the Polyvagal Theory by Dr. Stephen Porges, our nervous system works like an alarm system. When it detects a threat (e.g. a global pandemic), it raises the alarm that awakens our fight, flight, or freeze responses.

When we are in these states, we may find ourselves in a constant state of fear or worry, agitation, and even anger. Our thoughts become primed towards increased negativity, and we may experience feelings of distrust and hopelessness. Physically, we might experience being exhausted, restless, or numb. When we get stuck in these states for long periods of time, it may lead to not only mental illness, but also physical diseases. 

Fortunately, our nervous system has also evolved to survive these kinds of threats. Together with the alarm system is a connection system or a social engagement system, which helps us respond to threats in a less defensive way. This is the evolutionary piece of gold that tilts the scale towards wellness. When we have an activated connection system, we can build resilience in the face of stress.  

Simple ways to turn on your connection system and beat languishing:

1. Connect with your mind and body 
  • Use your senses: engage your senses during various activities- smell, see, feel, taste, and listen. 
  • Move your body: go for a run, do stretching exercises, dance!
  • Use your hands: create something, paint, write
2. Connect with others
  • Reach out to loved ones: make a quick call to a family member/ friend/ colleague you haven’t spoken to in a while
  • Help others: What are your talents and skills that may be used to help others? Listen to a friend in need, cook for neighbors, reach out to less fortunate community members.
3. Connect with nature
  • Spend time with your pets 
  • Care for your plants
  • Go outside for a walk (with proper precautions, of course!) and observe the trees, listen to the birds, and feel the warmth of the sun. 

These are some easy tips and tricks to engage our connection system but don’t be fooled, their benefits go a long way. Every time you connect, pay attention to how your body feels. Be aware of how it feels when you start to relax. How slow/fast or shallow/deep is your breathing? Do your muscles feel tense or at ease? Savor this feeling and know that you can always come back to it when you need to.   

Together, let’s convert languishing to connecting. From here on out, let’s breathe in the fragrance of the lather, let’s feel the bubbles slide down our skin as we rinse, and let’s engage our connection system and keep it on repeat. 

Improving your social connection system is just one of the wellbeing practices we teach at We Thrive. Contact us to learn more about how we can help you and your team achieve your wellbeing goals.

Source:

Porges, S. W. (2020). The COVID-19 Pandemic is a paradoxical challenge to our nervous system: a Polyvagal Perspective. Clinical Neuropsychiatry, 17(2),135-138.

Categories
Blog Everyday Thriving Wellbeing Practices

Everyday Thriving: Mother’s Day Edition

thriving

Everyday Thriving is not just a concept we teach in our webinars and corporate training programs—it is a set of practices we live by on a daily basis.

As a Mother’s Day feature, we turn the spotlight on Techie Duran-Dy, one of our We Thrive consultants.

Techie is a wife, mom of three daughters (Myca-26, Cara-22, Anica-21), mental health clinician, businesswoman, PhD student–and she is also active in church and socio-civic duties. How does she do it all? Watch Techie’s insights on Everyday Thriving:

In this heartwarming video, Techie talks about the biggest challenges and rewards of motherhood. She also shares her Everyday Thriving practices such as gratitude, prayer, mindfulness, communing with nature, nurturing connections, finding purpose and doing things with love.

What are your practices for Everyday Thriving? Which ones did you learn from you mom?

We Thrive celebrates and appreciates the strength of all mothers who have nurtured us in many wonderful ways. Happy Mother’s Day!

Categories
Blog Wellbeing Practices

The Six P’s of Thriving through Turbulence

Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.

-Dr. Viktor Frankl (Austrian Neuropsychiatrist, Author, and Holocaust Survivor)

Over the past year that we have been continuing to face the demands of severe disruption and ongoing threats to our health and safety, it is inevitable (even if only at times) to find ourselves feeling battered by the winds and the waves of this pandemic storm. These turbulent times have brought the conversation about resilience to the forefront,  becoming a buzzword, with its accompanying misconceptions. Some common inaccurate notions of resilience are that it means “being ok all the time,” “toughening up in the face of adversity,” and “powering through.” These misconceptions can lead to an unhealthy relationship with our emotions and inner experiences, as we might push away or resist  connecting with our moments of vulnerability. As most theories on resilience would posit, acceptance of reality is key to resilience (On Emotional Intelligence, Harvard Business Review, 2015). Rose-colored thinking and sweeping emotions under the rug in order to “stay optimistic” does not amount to resilience. In fact, at times, it can actually lead to danger when we avoid facing down reality.  

Resilience is a practice of awareness, connection, and wise action. Instead of being mindlessly dragged by external and internal forces into habits of reactivity that undermine our ability to thrive, we stop to create what Dr. Frankl describes as “the space” from which we can become mindful and look deeper into the choices we make.

Resilience involves the intention and practice of putting ourselves in the zone of thriving where we can be our best self.

In essence, it involves learning to understand and befriend our nervous system so that we don’t unconsciously linger in our fight-flight-freeze zones, which then compromises our physical and mental health, as well as our relationships.

We cannot fight or avoid the storm, but we can develop the capability to inhabit a sense of calm and groundedness that protects us from giving in to impulsive and short-sighted actions. Reaching in to our true strength and deeper wisdom enables us to come out of the storm having evolved for the better.

We offer you these six P’s of thriving as a guide to neuro-scientifically informed practices that we can cultivate in our everyday lives. Most of these practices consist of micro-steps that are meant to build habits of conscious living.  We don’t rise to the level of our aspirations, we drop down to the level of our actions–that is how we embody our commitment to live our best life in whatever circumstances we find ourselves in.  

The Six P’s of Thriving through Turbulence

1. PAUSE

The ability to pause, step back, and reflect, enables us to shift perspectives, create options and choose wisely (Linda Graham, Bouncing Back: Re-Wiring Your Brain for Maximum Resilience and Wellbeing). Practice pausing by creating a routine that includes time for unplugging and relaxation. Taking mini-breaks during the work day help us restore and replenish our mental energy, thereby making us more productive than if we were to work non-stop. We can also pause through the practice of mindful breathing. Whenever your mind becomes scattered, use your breath as the means to take hold of your mind again.

2. PERSPECTIVE

The perspective we choose to take defines how we experience reality. Nothing exists outside of how we interpret or perceive what is happening around us. When our stress response is activated, the brain leans toward a negativity bias that shifts our focus on what’s not working well, thereby constricting our sense of possibility. We can practice perspective by asking ourselves What else is true? What reality am I taking for granted? Am I looking at the whole picture? How can I widen my perspective? What can I do right now? Among the things I can control, what can I take action on in the present?

3. PRESENCE

Presence means being open and kind toward ourselves and others. Establishing a compassionate internal connection with ourselves activates a self-soothing response that regulates us back into safety. Self-validation is a practice of presence that involves turning to our feelings and internal experiences with understanding and compassion. We can also be more intentional in giving our genuine presence to others through supportive listening, which means making space for others to feel held in our presence. It’s listening to understand instead of trying to fix what’s wrong. 

4. PURPOSE

According to Victor Stretcher, behavioral scientist and author of Life on Purpose,

“The strength of one’s life purpose—which involves a combination of living according to your values and goals, and striving to make a positive difference in the world—can be measured, and it correlates highly with psychological wellness and even markers of physical health and longevity.”

Crisis points can become turning points when we dare to look within, grounding our choices and actions in what truly matters to us. Instead of merely reacting to external circumstances, consciously connect with your intention and deeper purpose. A micro-practice in directing attention to purpose is through intention-setting, pausing to set an intention at the beginning of each day and returning to that intention again and again as we engage in our daily activities. 

5. PARTICIPATE

Research suggests that when we recognize our common humanity and show compassion, we are more likely to pull together and to solve issues that may be complex in nature. 

Helping or assisting others can empower us to overcome the gravity of helplessness and hopelessness. Practice participate through everyday acts of kindness. Research shows that when we practice kindness and generosity toward others, our brains light up in areas associated with pleasure and reward. Kindness is an act that benefits both the giver and receiver. 

6. POSSIBILITY

We can only fuel our efforts if we have the faith, vision, and imagination to get to our desired destination. While the temptation might be to focus on fear and everything going wrong, we can redirect our attention to cultivating a mindset that sees growth and possibilities beyond problems.

Resistance can block possibility.

When we resist reality, whether it’s an external situation  or the reality of our own feelings, our struggle increases. It’s important to gently and compassionately  observe our resistance, what are we resisting and how does the resistance affect us?

To the extent that we can, practice turning the mind towards acceptance and notice what opens up. We can also embody acceptance by smiling to what we are resisting or opening our palms as a gesture of willingness. 

The 6P’s of Thriving Through Turbulence has been an anchor for us at We Thrive—as a wellbeing guide we started to share even at the start of the pandemic last year (when we first started with 5P’s). We even talked about it in Bianca Gonzalez‘s Paano Ba ‘To series:

The 6P’s of Thriving through Turbulence is part of what we teach in our webinars and training sessions for organizations. You may download the free infographic here or contact us to learn more about We Thrive’s mental health and wellbeing services.

Categories
Blog Mindful Self-Compassion (MSC)

How does operational air traffic control relate to mindfulness?

mindfulness

The majority of you are most likely thinking “not at all.”

Having worked as an operational air traffic controller at a high-density facility for 40 years+ I’ll nevertheless reveal there is most likely a relationship if you are willing to cut mindfulness down to, for example “focus and concentration”.

Being an outspoken advocate for mindfulness and self-compassion, I decided to discover if a program targeted at this specific audience would have an effect on dropouts. In particular I was curious if trainees within this domain might benefit from training focused at lowering their self- criticism.

I left the operational environment a couple of years ago. Teaching mindfulness of various kinds to operational air traffic control personnel, health care staff as well as to those suffering from chronic pain is what I now focus on.

For quite some time during the 40 years+ in air traffic control I was part of the team recruiting trainees, later I became Head of Training.
So, I have insight to what is required from the trainees and what the typical obstacles are while going through training.

I was fortunate to start collaboration with a private training institute which offers ab initio as well as refresher and continuation training to national and international customers, GATE Aviation Training, in Copenhagen.

The signature of all training at GATE is first and foremost devoted to excellence within training. But it struck me to realize they in fact dare to challenge the educational culture in their form of training methods.

Having known the industry for as long as I have, I knew a door might open for me to try out a program targeted at what I know is of utmost relevance; focus and concentration.

Thanks to Dr. Steve Hickman, Executive Director, The Center for Mindful Self-Compassion, for granting me the permission to deviate from a standard SC-MSC. With Steve’s encouragement the door became open for me to write the curriculum. “FoCon – The Resilient Personnel” became the program’s title.

Session 1 was 90 min., the remaining 6 sessions were all 75 min.

From the onset it was my intention to follow the SC-MSC curriculum with only a few variations of which one would be a body scan as an add on to each session. Along the way real life for “FoCon” turned out to be a lot more than only a few variations.

I started off with what is in fact comparable to an introductory session of the 8-week MSC. I.e., general “house rules & guidelines” for our next many hours together, “How do I treat a friend-exercise,” the felt experience of mindfulness, common humanity and kindness and “Self- Compassion in Daily Life.”

But my point of departure for the unusual training became the UN 17 Goals for Sustainable Development, more specifically goal no. 3 about good health and wellbeing.

Way down in that paragraph it’s mentioned that before 2030 well-being must be promoted.

They just don’t come up with any definitions of what’s included in mental well-being, let alone methods of measuring improvements.

So, with what I took as a free ticket to elaborate further, I included how the mindfulness movement, and later the compassion movement too, for more than 30 years has proven to:

  • enhance general well-being
  • lower blood pressure
  • improve quality of sleep
  • lessen chronic pain, anxiety and stress and more
  • overall increase life satisfaction through fostering happiness

I mentioned a few of the scientific studies to back up the statements.

This is undoubtedly the first time ever any Air Traffic Control Training facility has had mindfulness and compassion training on the agenda with the sole purpose of enhancing focus and concentration.

By including the UN 17 Goals for Sustainable Development, everyone, including management who were present at the intro session, appeared to realize “Ah ha, we’re really among the forerunners for doing something big here!”

So, from there on the path of the course really turned into Hanne paving the road ahead of each session, looking at what do the students really need right now?

I started off with the “Compassionate Body Scan” but after just 2 sessions, I shifted to the body scan we use in the MBSR program.

Some other exercises I included were “Soothing Touch,” “Self-Compassion Break,” “The STOP-Practice,” “Soles of the Feet,” “Soften – Soothe – Allow,” “Compassionate Friend,” “Self-Compassion Stone,” and finally “Setting an Intention”.

All in all, “FoCon” has been a valuable process for trainees as well as for me being the facilitator.

I do think it’s very noteworthy that by the time they received their first progress report, i.e., after “FoCon” Session 4, one third of the trainees said they experienced enhanced concentration capabilities when studying for their exams.

After “FoCon” Session 6 half of the trainees said they felt generally lighter, less stressed when they were in the simulator and felt more overall happiness.

A formal feedback survey was carried out by completion of the “FoCon” program.

That gave me insight to what the trainees actually felt they benefited from most. It didn’t come in as a surprise the body scan was their high time favorite.

“Is “FoCon” something you’ll recommend GATE to have as part of our future training programs?”

On a scale 1 – 5, 5 being the best, the question scored 4.8.

So yes, I firmly believe GATE is among the forerunners offering “FoCon – The Resilient Personnel” as part of their training.

The course has proven to induce trainees with a dose of confidence: YES, I can complete my simulator and on the job training because I have learned I don’t need to bully myself with self- criticism.

For the first time ever, we will be fostering a new generation of personnel for the aviation industry who are being trained to motivate themselves with encouragement rather than criticism and to tackle stressful situations with greater ease.

When a student learns how to soften the inner critic, a successful outcome of training is more likely to become the result.

Learn more about mindfulness and register for our upcoming eight-week Mindful Self-Compassion online course here.

Resources:

Hanne Vedsted-Hansen: info@hannevedsted.dk www.hannevedsted.dk GATE Aviation Training, Copenhagen, Denmark
The Center for Mindful Self-Compassion: