micro-practices Archives

Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.
-Dr. Viktor Frankl (Austrian Neuropsychiatrist, Author, and Holocaust Survivor)

Over the past year that we have been continuing to face the demands of severe disruption and ongoing threats to our health and safety, it is inevitable (even if only at times) to find ourselves feeling battered by the winds and the waves of this pandemic storm. These turbulent times have brought the conversation about resilience to the forefront, becoming a buzzword, with its accompanying misconceptions. Some common inaccurate notions of resilience are that it means “being ok all the time,” “toughening up in the face of adversity,” and “powering through.” These misconceptions can lead to an unhealthy relationship with our emotions and inner experiences, as we might push away or resist connecting with our moments of vulnerability. As most theories on resilience would posit, acceptance of reality is key to resilience (On Emotional Intelligence, Harvard Business Review, 2015). Rose-colored thinking and sweeping emotions under the rug in order to “stay optimistic” does not amount to resilience. In fact, at times, it can actually lead to danger when we avoid facing down reality.

Resilience is a practice of awareness, connection, and wise action. Instead of being mindlessly dragged by external and internal forces into habits of reactivity that undermine our ability to thrive, we stop to create what Dr. Frankl describes as “the space” from which we can become mindful and look deeper into the choices we make.

Resilience involves the intention and practice of putting ourselves in the zone of thriving where we can be our best self.
In essence, it involves learning to understand and befriend our nervous system so that we don’t unconsciously linger in our fight-flight-freeze zones, which then compromises our physical and mental health, as well as our relationships.

We cannot fight or avoid the storm, but we can develop the capability to inhabit a sense of calm and groundedness that protects us from giving in to impulsive and short-sighted actions. Reaching in to our true strength and deeper wisdom enables us to come out of the storm having evolved for the better.

We offer you these six P’s of thriving as a guide to neuro-scientifically informed practices that we can cultivate in our everyday lives. Most of these practices consist of micro-steps that are meant to build habits of conscious living. We don’t rise to the level of our aspirations, we drop down to the level of our actions–that is how we embody our commitment to live our best life in whatever circumstances we find ourselves in.

The Six P’s of Thriving through Turbulence

1. PAUSE

The ability to pause, step back, and reflect, enables us to shift perspectives, create options and choose wisely (Linda Graham, Bouncing Back: Re-Wiring Your Brain for Maximum Resilience and Wellbeing). Practice pausing by creating a routine that includes time for unplugging and relaxation. Taking mini-breaks during the work day help us restore and replenish our mental energy, thereby making us more productive than if we were to work non-stop. We can also pause through the practice of mindful breathing. Whenever your mind becomes scattered, use your breath as the means to take hold of your mind again.

2. PERSPECTIVE

The perspective we choose to take defines how we experience reality. Nothing exists outside of how we interpret or perceive what is happening around us. When our stress response is activated, the brain leans toward a negativity bias that shifts our focus on what’s not working well, thereby constricting our sense of possibility. We can practice perspective by asking ourselves What else is true? What reality am I taking for granted? Am I looking at the whole picture? How can I widen my perspective? What can I do right now? Among the things I can control, what can I take action on in the present?

3. PRESENCE

Presence means being open and kind toward ourselves and others. Establishing a compassionate internal connection with ourselves activates a self-soothing response that regulates us back into safety. Self-validation is a practice of presence that involves turning to our feelings and internal experiences with understanding and compassion. We can also be more intentional in giving our genuine presence to others through supportive listening, which means making space for others to feel held in our presence. It’s listening to understand instead of trying to fix what’s wrong.

4. PURPOSE

According to Victor Stretcher, behavioral scientist and author of Life on Purpose,

“The strength of one’s life purpose—which involves a combination of living according to your values and goals, and striving to make a positive difference in the world—can be measured, and it correlates highly with psychological wellness and even markers of physical health and longevity.”

Crisis points can become turning points when we dare to look within, grounding our choices and actions in what truly matters to us. Instead of merely reacting to external circumstances, consciously connect with your intention and deeper purpose. A micro-practice in directing attention to purpose is through intention-setting, pausing to set an intention at the beginning of each day and returning to that intention again and again as we engage in our daily activities.

5. PARTICIPATE

Research suggests that when we recognize our common humanity and show compassion, we are more likely to pull together and to solve issues that may be complex in nature.

Helping or assisting others can empower us to overcome the gravity of helplessness and hopelessness. Practice participate through everyday acts of kindness. Research shows that when we practice kindness and generosity toward others, our brains light up in areas associated with pleasure and reward. Kindness is an act that benefits both the giver and receiver.

6. POSSIBILITY

We can only fuel our efforts if we have the faith, vision, and imagination to get to our desired destination. While the temptation might be to focus on fear and everything going wrong, we can redirect our attention to cultivating a mindset that sees growth and possibilities beyond problems.

Resistance can block possibility.
When we resist reality, whether it’s an external situation or the reality of our own feelings, our struggle increases. It’s important to gently and compassionately observe our resistance, what are we resisting and how does the resistance affect us?

To the extent that we can, practice turning the mind towards acceptance and notice what opens up. We can also embody acceptance by smiling to what we are resisting or opening our palms as a gesture of willingness.

The 6P’s of Thriving Through Turbulence has been an anchor for us at We Thrive—as a wellbeing guide we started to share even at the start of the pandemic last year (when we first started with 5P’s). We even talked about it in Bianca Gonzalez‘s Paano Ba ‘To series:

The 6P’s of Thriving through Turbulence is part of what we teach in our webinars and training sessions for organizations. You may download the free infographic here or contact us to learn more about We Thrive’s mental health and wellbeing services.

Almost eight months into this Coronavirus (COVID-19) pandemic and without a vaccine available, many of us remain cautious and stay home to prevent the transmission of the virus. With this massive health crisis continuing to disrupt systems big and small, uncertainty and anxiety continue to be present in our day to day lives.

It is exhausting. It really is.

And yet, we continue to take the challenge head on. We try our best and show our resilience, every single day no matter how tiring or stressful it might be. Still, we do not definitively know how much longer this is going to drag on. How are we going to keep ourselves from burning out?

Science clearly tells us that taking care of oneself is the most essential thing we can do in order to properly care for someone else. We therefore wish to emphasize that in order to be more effective, more resilient and have more impact, it is essential to take proactive steps to manage stress and recharge body and mind. Taking any small step to bolster personal well-being, is not just an investment for oneself, but also in one’s ability to make a difference in the lives of others. (thriveglobal.com)

Self-care does not have to entail long stretches of time and big effort. And realistically speaking, with everything on our plate on a daily basis, we don’t really have the time or brain space for massive changes. Micro-practices can make a huge difference—it’s the small actionable steps, those mini-pauses, that matter more in the long run. All it takes is just a few minutes, and sometimes even just one mindful breath.

6 Micro-practices of Self-Care for Thriving:

1. Deep Breathing/Paced Breathing

SCIENCE: Shallow breathing is part of the fight-or-flight response that causes secretion of stress hormones, eventually making the body more vulnerable to inflammation and disease. Breathing at a more calmed pace helps dial down the fight-or-flight response so the body can stop pumping unnecessary cortisol and adrenaline. (health.harvard.edu)

PRACTICE:

Find a quiet, comfortable place to sit or lie down.
- First, take a normal breath.
- Then try a deep breath: Breathe in slowly through your nose, allowing your chest and lower belly to rise as you fill your lungs (e.g. 4 counts). Let your abdomen expand fully.
- Now breathe out slowly through your mouth or your nose, whatever feels more natural (e.g. 6 counts).
- Repeat this breathing cycle for 10 times.
Once you’ve taken the steps above, you can move on to regular practice of controlled breathing. As you sit comfortably with your eyes closed, blend deep breathing with guided imagery, focusing on a word or phrase, or counting your breaths on the exhales.
You can use this breathing practice any time you feel stressed or tense.

2. Yoga Stretches

SCIENCE: The meditative quality of yoga triggers a well-studied physiological change known as the relaxation response.

Sun Salutation Variation Sitting On Chair Yoga (Surya Namaskar ...

This relaxation response has the following benefits:

lowers blood pressure, heart rate, breathing rate and oxygen consumption
decreases levels of adrenaline the stress hormone cortisol
boosts mood, decreases anxiety and depression
improves sleep

PRACTICE: Seated Sun Salutation (Images taken from Tummee.com)

3. S.T.O.P. – Shift from Reactive to Responsive

SCIENCE: In high-stress/high-emotion situations, our fight-or-flight tends to cause tunnel vision that leads us to interpret events or situations negatively. Sometimes causing us to act impulsively, say or do things we later regret.

PRACTICE: STOP

When you are feeling alarmed, stressed, or reactive:

Stop what you’re doing. Put things down for a minute.
Take a few deep breaths. Breathe normally and naturally, following the flow of air in and out of your nose.
Observe your experience as is. Notice bodily sensations, thoughts, and emotions with curiosity—no judgements.
Proceed with what feels like a wise next step. Ask yourself “What feels supportive in this moment?”

4. Shifting from Harsh Inner Critic to Self-Compassionate Talk

SCIENCE: Self-compassion is a practice that involves directing compassion for oneself during a time of suffering. It consists of three elements— mindfulness (present-focused awareness), common humanity (the understanding that one’s experience is similar to others, thus potentially reducing one’s sense of alienation), and self-kindness (using kind gestures or phrases toward oneself to support oneself). Self-compassion practices have been shown to have the following benefits:

improve positive affect, social connection, and self- and other-focused affect
espouses growth mindset and helps maintain peace of mind
increases productivity and performance even after failure
activates nurturance and soothing system that leads to greater feelings of wellbeing

PRACTICE: If you tend to struggle with negative self-talk whenever you make a mistake or feel like you could have done more, try these:

Write down the self-critical words that come to your mind, and ask yourself “Would I say these to a friend who is struggling?”
Develop a list of easy-to-remember self-compassionate statements such as:
- I am trying my best. That is enough.
- It’s understandable that I feel this way.
- I am not perfect. No one is.
- I know I didn’t mean for things to turn out this way.

5. Connecting to Purpose

SCIENCE: A sense of purpose appears to have evolved in humans so that we can accomplish big things together—which may be why it’s associated with better physical and mental health. Purpose is adaptive, in an evolutionary sense. It helps both individuals and the species to survive.

PRACTICE:

Sit quietly with your feet in contact with the floor.
Take a few moments to settle down, breathing in deeply, inhaling and exhaling comfortably.
Feeling the contact of your feet on the solid ground beneath, gently and kindly ask yourself, “What values do I want to hold on to as I do my work and face this challenging situation?”
Feeling into the heart or chest area, gently and kindly ask yourself, “What do I wish to give or offer?”
Stretching the spine upward and reaching out to the sky, gently and kindly ask yourself, “What accomplishment would mean most to me in this work I’m doing?”

6. Gratitude

SCIENCE: In a study at UC Davis, subjects who wrote down one thing for which they were grateful every day reported being 25% happier for a full six months after following this practice for just three weeks. A gratitude practice has been associated with increased vitality, improved kidney function, reduced blood pressure and stress hormone levels, and a stronger heart. (Mindfulness: The New Science of Health and Happiness, Time Special Edition)

“Gratitude blocks toxic emotions, such as envy, resentment, regret and depression, which can destroy our happiness. It’s impossible to feel envious and grateful at the same time.”
Dr. Robert Emmons

PRACTICE: Three Good Things

At the end of each day, think about three things that went well that day, large or small, and describe why you think that happened. Remember the 4Ws (what went well why) as you write these.

This simple practice can be really powerful because it contributes to the past (remembering and appreciating what happened), present (noticing and savoring the positive feeling as you recall each good thing) and future (trains your mind to balance out negativity bias). By reflecting on the sources of these good things, the idea is that you start to see a broader ecosystem of goodness around you.

We hope that you get to try at least one of these micro-practices. And remember Richard Davidson’s words “Happiness and wellbeing are best regarded as skills” so let’s all practice, practice, practice.