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Teaming to Thrive

Teaming to Thrive

By now it has become quite evident that the only way forward is to adapt to

a new reality where there is no “normal.” We have been turbulently oscillating like particles in a snow globe, adjusting to change and disruption at every turn. This is felt by organizations and workplaces everywhere. We are facing a massive evolution and we need to pay attention to what it’s teaching us that will enable us to survive and even thrive. One of the most important learnings has been that we cannot afford to sacrifice human wellbeing, particularly in the workplace where chronic stress has been at a crisis level even prior to the pandemic (World Health Organization, 2019). The pandemic has amplified this crisis to a tipping point that can no longer be ignored. Harvard Business Review (What Covid Has Done to Our Well-being, February 2021) reports from a worldwide survey conducted in 46 countries that 85% of respondents (mostly knowledge workers) said their general wellbeing has declined since the start of the pandemic while 89% indicated a decline in their workplace wellbeing. 

Many workplaces worldwide have been realizing the value of taking action on the mental health and wellbeing needs of their employees. We can see this shifting consciousness as a positive transformation that can emerge from this crisis. However, deep change requires commitment to culture-building initiatives that foster workplace conditions where people can feel safe, supported, and inspired to grow. An important aspect of cultivating a wellbeing culture is by being intentional about teaming practices.

Being part of a caring and supportive team buffers employees from chronic stress and burnout by making people feel safe to connect, contribute, be creative, and even to be challenged.

When Google conducted Project Aristotle in 2016, a research on what makes a sustainable high performing team, they found that the most critical factor in determining team success was psychological safety (The New York Times, February 2016).

Harvard organizational scientist Amy Edmondson describes psychological safety as “a shared belief held by members of a team that the team is safe for interpersonal risk taking.”

Administrative Science Quarterly, 1999

Safety in our social environment primes our nervous system to be calm, open, and receptive to others as opposed to being defensive, rigid, and hostile. 

Team leaders and managers play an essential role in modeling and initiating skillful teaming practices. However, each team member has the opportunity to effect change toward building a safe and compassionate team culture. We cannot leave successful teaming to chance, especially in these times of remote work when so many are feeling the strain of social isolation. Having meaningful connections, feeling that you matter, and participating in shared goals can nurture our wellbeing. What is good for our wellbeing also translates into productivity with less “efforting” and struggle.  It’s about harnessing the power of human interconnection and it’s what has enabled the human race to survive and continue to thrive as a species.               

Effective teaming needs consistency and doesn’t happen overnight. But the yields far outweigh the investment. Whether your team is just taking first steps or farther along in the journey, we encourage you to try these teaming practices as a way of fortifying individual and collective wellbeing.  

1. Integrate Mindfulness to Strengthen Self-Awareness and Self-Regulation

Building psychologically safe teams requires that each member learns to take responsibility for managing their feelings, thoughts, and behaviors. Trust and healthy risk-taking can only flourish if we know that people around us have the ability to interact skillfully and compassionately. Mindfulness creates the space, the pause, so that we can step back and become aware of what is happening within and outside of us. By practicing mindfulness we empower ourselves to engage in a wise response instead of giving in to an urge that might hurt others and ourselves. 

  • Minute to Arrive- Give a minute of silence at the start of each meeting for everyone to take a few breaths and be fully present. This helps calm the mind and set the atmosphere for mindful communication. (Source: SIYLY Adaptive Resilience Team Practices)
  • Midpoint Check-In- A mid-point check-in introduces a pause in the middle of a meeting to reflect on how the conversation is going. It can be guided by questions such as, “How am I feeling about this?”, “Are we listening to everyone?”, “What perspective are we missing?”, “What’s getting in the way of us moving forward?” (Source: SIYLY Adaptive Resilience Team Practices)
  • Set team norms for being present by closing emails and chats, silencing phones/notifications, making eye contact and listening actively during meetings. 

2. Building Empathy 

Empathy enables us to connect with and respect the feelings and perspectives of others. Having differences and misunderstandings will always be part of our team experience. Empathy gives us the capacity to bridge these differences by understanding and validating where the other person is coming from. 

  • Appreciations and Acknowledgements- Set aside a few minutes during a meeting during which team members are invited to acknowledge or appreciate someone in the team.
  • Opening Check-In- Do a round to check-in at the beginning of each meeting by having each person share responses to prompts such as, “How are you arriving to this meeting?” “What is something that gives you hope/strength?”, “How do you need to feel supported right now?” 
  • Check Assumptions- Remote work settings can present challenges in communication because we have less information to accurately perceive each other’s tone, emotions, and intentions. When a text message or e-mail makes you feel uncomfortable or agitated, suspend judgment, and take a moment to directly connect with the person through a quick call or video chat.

3. Strengthen Team Bonds

By taking time to share moments of connection, we build the trust and belief that team members have each other’s best interests in mind. With this comes honesty and vulnerability. As ropes of connection become stronger, people gradually become more willing to lower their waterlines.  Remote work does not have to hinder teams from experiencing creative and enjoyable ways to connect online. 

  • Wellbeing Buddy- Team members can pair-up to support each other on their wellbeing aspirations by checking-in with each other on their self-care practices, sharing resources, and simply providing space for compassionate listening. Buddies can be rotated every couple of months.  
  • Hang-outs- Create spaces for team members to interact without an agenda. This can be through a 15-minute hang-out time before a meeting, a virtual group lunch, or coffee break. Hang-outs could also be a time to share hobbies and recreational interests.

4. Getting Better at Having Difficult Conversations

Effective teaming requires honesty and courage to have difficult conversations. When team members experience positive outcomes from approaching instead of avoiding difficult conversations, psychological safety is reinforced and team members become more confident in their ability to manage these situations in the future.  

  • Rehearse Difficult Conversations- Teams can proactively discuss and establish a skillful process for having difficult conversations without waiting for problems to occur. Create a mock scenario and have team members contribute to the team’s “best practices” for managing a difficult conversation. These best practices can then become the team’s ground rules for when actual situations arise.    
  • Anchor on Common Ground- Help team members work through disagreements by shifting the perspective to what they have in common, what their best intentions are, and what they both want to achieve.  

Cultivating a workplace culture that is psychologically safe is nuanced–it isn’t as simple as it sounds. There are existing workplace structures, hierarchies, personalities and other factors to consider. And it is also not an impossible goal.

Contact us to get started on cultivating psychological safety in your workplace.

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Blog Everyday Thriving Thrive at Work Wellbeing Practices

Steering a Ship Amidst Stormy Seas: How Anxiety Can Affect Executive Functions and What You Can Do About It

executive functions

The COVID-19 pandemic has impacted our lives on an unprecedented scale.

With the social distancing measures and enhanced community quarantine, many people around the world have to contend with a “new normal”.  In a snap of a finger, our lives have suddenly changed. The old routines we used to have that put order into our lives and made us feel safe have to be set aside for new ways of living.  Our situation demands us to make dramatic adjustments in a very short span of time. We are compelled to come to terms with the loss of certain freedoms and continue carrying on despite uncertainty and fear.   On top of these, we experience the constant feelings of unease and worry, perhaps even pain and grief, over how COVID-19 has affected our lives and those of our loved ones. 

During this difficult time in our lives, we need to keep our wits about us. We need to be focused, flexible, and exercise frustration tolerance.  In other words, we need our executive functions to do its job so that we can adapt effectively. When we talk about executive functions, we refer to those set of higher skills we all have which help us plan and organize, solve problems, remember things, make decisions, keep our impulses and emotions in check, and achieve things we set out to do.

Our executive functions help us adapt to change.

However, when we are in a state of heightened or ongoing stress, or when our anxiety intensifies and gets too overwhelming, it affects our executive functions.  

The way our brain works is that the prefrontal cortex, or the part of the brain used for thinking and regulating/controlling, interact with the deeper structures of our brain called limbic system, which have to do with emotions and motivation. Whenever our emotions become too intense particularly when we are faced with something threatening or dangerous, and we are in state of constant stress, these deeper limbic structures tend to take over, overpowering the thinking, regulating parts of the brain. We shift to a feeling mode, rather than a thinking mode. The fight-flight-freeze response kicks in.  

How can anxiety and chronic stress affect the way our executive functions work?

  • Impulse and emotional control – We tend to react based on our feelings at the moment. We make rash decisions, some of which are driven by our fears. We get more irritable or become easily annoyed. Our emotions get the best of us. 
  • Working memory –  When we are very anxious, it’s very hard to concentrate and remember what we need to keep in mind. we could be making mental notes of things we need to do, but we lose track of what they are.  So we might be making a trip to the grocery store only to forget an important item or two we were meaning to buy.  Or, we want to remember a lot of things at the same time, like the different numbers to ways to access an online store or hospital, how to maintain proper hygiene, or what COVID-19 symptoms to look out for. But, because we are being bombarded with so much information day after day, our brain reaches its limit and we up “mentally losing” or forgetting the information we want to remember.  
  • Saliency determination – In other words, figuring out and focusing on what we think is important. When we are very anxious and stressed, we might lose sight of the big picture. Instead, we get tunnel vision. We have an increased vigilance about what’s threatening. This means what we pay more attention to the negative, worrisome information for instance those related to the COVID-19 pandemic, because it feels more important at the moment. However, we end up disregarding our positive or hopeful sources of information we need to cope in a healthy way.  
  • Task initiation or completion – When we get overwhelmed by anxiety, we tend to put things off, especially those that demand so much thinking and analyzing. So for those of us working from home, we might experience difficulty starting on a work-related email or report.  Sometimes, we set aside the chores or tasks we need to attend to, and prefer to distract ourselves with other activities. 
  • Flexibility – This refers to our capacity to shift our perspective, the ease in which we transition from an old to a new routine, and our ability to creatively problem solve and adapt. The rapid yet dramatic changes brought by the COVID-19 pandemic challenges our flexibility. Some of us might feel very stressed and uncomfortable having to stay home if we are used to an active social life. We feel inconvenienced and irritated by the sudden change in our routine. Others might have to learn new ways of using or maximizing technology, especially those working from home and managing work online.  We have to find new ways to keep busy, earn a living and stay healthy. And sometimes, it’s easier said than done, especially when our brains are already wired towards certain habits that we’ve grown accustomed to. 

So, how do we keep our wits about us to manage our day to day life despite living at a time of chronic stress and uncertainty?

How do we use our executive functions to stay anchored in the midst of a great storm? 

  • Do something calming. Instead of telling yourself to “Calm down!”, do something calming instead.  It’s important that you first find ways to reasonably tame your anxiety so that you can effectively apply executive function skills. Think about things you typically do that calm you down. It works better if these consists of healthy or health-promoting activities. Write this down in a list and pick from any of these activities whenever you feel overwhelmed. Another think you can do is make a new routine. Routines are also calming. Create a sense of predictability within your home by using routines or schedules for working, eating, sleeping, and other pleasurable, leisure activities. If you feel overwhelmed, take a step back from whatever you’re doing. Try to decrease the stimulation by going to a quiet room and do some slow breathing. Gaze softly at the movement of the leaves outside your window or the clouds passing by. If you feel agitated, try doing some slow, mindful movements.  
  • Activate your inner observer. Each of us has the ability for metacognition, which  means our awareness and understanding of our thought processes. By activating your inner observer, you track what is going on in your mind and become aware when you are already experiencing lapses in your executive functions or when you’re already letting your emotions get the best of you. This momentary pause will give you the opportunity to make a wiser choice about how to best respond, rather than react, to the given situation. 
  • Use strategies. If you recognize that stress and anxiety make it very hard for you to stay productive, remember things, or manage your home effectively, it’s okay. You don’t need to pressure yourself with mental calisthenics to overcome these weaknesses. Instead, why not use some strategies to help your brain along? For example:
    • If you feel yourself becoming more forgetful when you’re anxious, write things down or record this in your cellphone.
    • Use a calendar app for reminders if this works for you.
    • Color code tasks you’ve written down in your to-do list so you can easily see which are more urgent than others. 

If you feel like you’re getting stuck or you’ve ran out of solutions, gather more information or tips to give you more ideas.  Those working from home might find it hard to start on job-related tasks. You could begin with easier ones to get those wheels turning before moving on to the harder tasks.  

  • Use a growth mindset  and practicing self-compassion – You don’t need to beat yourself up over executive function lapses or mistakes. Instead, use these as opportunities to learn, to figure out what works for you and what doesn’t. In a way, whenever we are taken out of comfortable habits or routines and thrust into unfamiliar territory, this is actually a learning opportunity for all of us. Any chance to test our limits and creativity, to firm up our frustration tolerance, and discover things about ourselves outside of our comfort zone, is a learning opportunity.  More importantly, we should give ourselves generous doses of self-compassion – or being warm and kind towards ourselves when we make mistakes, fall short, and encounter personal shortcomings.  After all, we are all imperfect in some way or the other!

If you skimmed through the post, here’s a summary

Anxiety and stress can affect how your executive functions work. It interferes with your capacity to stay focused, organized, remember things, make decisions, finish tasks, and be a flexible problem solver.  You become reactive rather than responsive. In order to gain a handle on anxiety and allow your executive functions to work well for you, you first need to do something calming, pause from time to time and check your thoughts and feelings, use strategies to help you get around those weaknesses. And more importantly, use these challenges as learning experiences and temper these with a good dose of warmth and kindness towards yourself.  

Take care everyone! 

*Executive Functioning (EF) coaching is one of the clinical services offered by We Thrive. Contact us today to learn more.

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Blog Wellbeing Practices

Beat Languishing Through Connection

languishing

Lather, rinse, repeat. What used to be three words at the back of a shampoo
bottle has become descriptive of day-to-day life in lockdown. Some of my clients compared it to living in the 1993 movie “Groundhog Day” where everyday seems to just go on a loop. Have we all just succumbed to living the life of a hamster on its wheel? Tired yet spinning, nonetheless? 

Earlier this month, the New York Times released an article providing us a name for what we are collectively feeling. Adam Grant, an organization psychologist and author of the said article, revealed the word that perfectly encapsulated our “blah’s”, “meh’s” and “oof’s”: Languishing. Languishing is the uncomfortable in between, the waiting room in a dentist’s clinic, the pause before announcing the winner to your favorite reality TV contests, the days between the next episode of your favorite Disney + Marvel series, and more specifically, the moment we are in: the race between COVID-19 vaccines rolling out and COVID-19 variants creeping in.

SCIENCE SAYS…

So if languishing is the middle with mental illness and mental wellness on either end, how do we tilt the scale towards wellness? First, let’s understand why it’s so easy to slide towards mental unwellness in the midst of the pandemic.

According to the Polyvagal Theory by Dr. Stephen Porges, our nervous system works like an alarm system. When it detects a threat (e.g. a global pandemic), it raises the alarm that awakens our fight, flight, or freeze responses.

When we are in these states, we may find ourselves in a constant state of fear or worry, agitation, and even anger. Our thoughts become primed towards increased negativity, and we may experience feelings of distrust and hopelessness. Physically, we might experience being exhausted, restless, or numb. When we get stuck in these states for long periods of time, it may lead to not only mental illness, but also physical diseases. 

Fortunately, our nervous system has also evolved to survive these kinds of threats. Together with the alarm system is a connection system or a social engagement system, which helps us respond to threats in a less defensive way. This is the evolutionary piece of gold that tilts the scale towards wellness. When we have an activated connection system, we can build resilience in the face of stress.  

Simple ways to turn on your connection system and beat languishing:

1. Connect with your mind and body 
  • Use your senses: engage your senses during various activities- smell, see, feel, taste, and listen. 
  • Move your body: go for a run, do stretching exercises, dance!
  • Use your hands: create something, paint, write
2. Connect with others
  • Reach out to loved ones: make a quick call to a family member/ friend/ colleague you haven’t spoken to in a while
  • Help others: What are your talents and skills that may be used to help others? Listen to a friend in need, cook for neighbors, reach out to less fortunate community members.
3. Connect with nature
  • Spend time with your pets 
  • Care for your plants
  • Go outside for a walk (with proper precautions, of course!) and observe the trees, listen to the birds, and feel the warmth of the sun. 

These are some easy tips and tricks to engage our connection system but don’t be fooled, their benefits go a long way. Every time you connect, pay attention to how your body feels. Be aware of how it feels when you start to relax. How slow/fast or shallow/deep is your breathing? Do your muscles feel tense or at ease? Savor this feeling and know that you can always come back to it when you need to.   

Together, let’s convert languishing to connecting. From here on out, let’s breathe in the fragrance of the lather, let’s feel the bubbles slide down our skin as we rinse, and let’s engage our connection system and keep it on repeat. 

Improving your social connection system is just one of the wellbeing practices we teach at We Thrive. Contact us to learn more about how we can help you and your team achieve your wellbeing goals.

Source:

Porges, S. W. (2020). The COVID-19 Pandemic is a paradoxical challenge to our nervous system: a Polyvagal Perspective. Clinical Neuropsychiatry, 17(2),135-138.

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General

PEACE Be With You: How to Skillfully Navigate Through the Pandemic

Calm

With the onslaught of mostly distressing news about the COVID-19 pandemic,

it is natural to find it challenging to relax and keep calm. Fear and anxiety can get overwhelming amidst the uncertainty and disruption of normal life. To cope, we sometimes tell others and ourselves to “stay calm”. But in times like these, it is understandably easier said than done. This is because calming down takes skills.

The good news is that with practice, skills can be developed and nurtured. The more we use a skill, the more we can master it.

In Space Calm, a mindfulness-based group program for children and teens, participants learn specific life skills they can use to cope with strong emotions such as anxiety, fear, anger, sadness, and loneliness. These are the PEACE skills: Presence, Emotional awareness and understanding, Acceptance, Compassion, and Engagement with others.

Adults and youth alike can benefit from practicing these skills during this challenging time. This could even prove to be the best time to build a skill or two, as you would have even more motivation to manage unpleasant emotions. So, take a look and invite your loved ones – both young and old – to join you in practicing and cultivating these skills.

P – Presence

This is the skill of bringing one’s full attention to what is in the moment. This is a key aspect of mindfulness practice. There’s extensive research evidence in the past 40 years of the many benefits of mindfulness on health and wellbeing. For one, mindfulness practice has been shown to increase resilience to stress and burnout. There have also been significant reductions in attention, behavioral, and anger problems, as well as decreased symptoms of depression and anxiety among youth who practiced mindfulness.

Cultivate the skill:

  1. Five senses – Our senses are the entry point to the present moment. Pause and, without judgment or evaluation, simply notice: 5 things you see; 4 things you can feel on your skin; 3 things you can hear; 2 things you can smell; and 1 thing you can taste at this precise moment in time. (This can be fun to do with others. Take turns in sharing what you’ve become aware of through your senses.)
  2. Mindful activity of daily living – Choose one daily activity that you intend to do mindfully everyday during the week (e.g., brushing your teeth, eating breakfast, combing your hair, taking a shower, etc.). Every time you do this routine activity, focus your full attention on it. If you get distracted, notice what distracted you and then gently bring your attention back to what you are doing. Notice the body sensations and emotions you feel during this “simple awareness” exercise.
  3. Mindful eating – Choose a small piece of food to eat mindfully (examples: a raisin, a bite-sized chocolate, or a small piece of cookie) and place it on your palm. Focus on it and observe its shape, color/s, and other details you can see. Pay attention to how it feels on your skin; turn it over or around slowly and notice its texture. Slowly put it close to your nose and savor its smell. Place it gently inside your mouth and let it sit on your tongue for a while. Notice what’s happening inside your mouth. Savor the taste that’s coming out from this small piece of food. Then, move it with your tongue and slowly bite it with your teeth. Notice the flavors oozing from it. As you swallow slowly, let your attention dwell on your throat and the sensations you feel there. Once you’re done, take a few moments to observe how you feel.
    (You may also check out this video of children demonstrating how to eat more mindfully)

E – Emotional awareness and understanding

This is the capacity to be aware of emotions and be comfortable with any emotion without needing to avoid it or indulge it. This skill allows individuals to calmly recognize emotions with openness and curiosity, with the wise understanding that emotions come and go. 

Cultivate the skill:

  1. Name the emotion – Take several pauses a day to check what emotions are there in the moment. Recognize each one. Still yourself when you feel the need to push a feeling away. Allow yourself to sit with the emotions for a minute or two.
  2. Feel the emotion – Check where in your body you feel the emotion. For instance, where do you feel the anxiety – your head, chest, or tummy? Focus on the body sensation for a minute.
  3. Draw the emotion – Draw an image to represent what you are currently feeling. For those of you who have kids, invite them to do this with you. Then, take turns in talking about the emotion. You can even make it a game and guess what emotion each image represents! (Just one rule: No one makes a judgment about the person or the emotion being felt.)

A – Acceptance

This is the skill of being at peace with what is being experienced in the moment. When we resist what is (e.g., fear, sickness, boredom, etc.), we create more suffering because fighting what is in the here and now is a losing battle. (It is already here!)

“Suffering equals pain times resistance.”

Shinzen Young, a mindfulness teacher and neuroscience research consultant

What creates the suffering is the thought that the pain, discomfort, or unpleasant emotion shouldn’t be here (i.e., non-acceptance of what’s here). 

Cultivate the skill:

  1. Smile at it – List down 5 things you’re struggling to be at peace with. Rank them from smallest to biggest struggle. Starting with your smallest struggle, experience the pain or discomfort, feel it in your body as much as you can, but this time, imagine yourself smiling at it. Then, let your lips curve into an actual smile. Smile at the pain or discomfort like it’s your friend. Repeat this exercise, over a few days if needed, until you feel you’ve fully accepted and befriended it. Then, move to the 2nd smallest struggle and so on.
  2. Accepting hands – When you catch yourself resisting what’s in the moment, take time to pause for 1-2 minutes and sit in a comfortable position. You may close your eyes or lower your gaze. Put your hands on your lap with the palms up and fingers relaxed. Feel your body accepting what’s in the moment through your hands. (For instance, if you find yourself worrying and wanting to push away the worry, practice accepting the reality that you feel worried with accepting hands.)

** These exercises make use of the body-mind connection by having your body communicate to your brain.

C – Compassion

This is the capacity of sensing others’ and our own pain and suffering and taking an action to ease away this suffering. Scientific evidence has shown that feeling loved (in contrast to feeling unloved) and being loving (in contrast to being indifferent) helps develop optimal human functioning in relation to stress hormones, immune system functioning, frontal cortical processing, creativity, and the capacity for happiness

Paul Gilbert, Chapter 7, Compassion: Bridging Practice and Science 

Cultivate the skill:

  1. Compassion in action for self – Purposefully and mindfully do one kind thing for yourself each day. Examples: eat a healthy snack, do yoga, or have a relaxing bath. You probably do such things already but the key here is being intentional in giving love and being kind to you.
  2. Compassion in action for others – Purposefully and mindfully do one kind thing for another person each day. Examples: send a sweet note to a family member or a friend, share your food to someone who’s hungry, or massage your mom’s back.
  3. Loving-kindness meditation – This meditation aims to foster feelings of goodwill, kindness, and warmth towards others and self. Here are a few suggested resources:

E – Engagement with others

The skill of engagement refers to one’s ability to relate and interact with others effectively by being curious, attuned, respectful, and empathic (CARE). Social connection is a basic human need. Our brains are wired to connect with one another.

Our capacity to reach out, connect, and interact with others ensures the survival and reproduction of our specie. Social isolation, or lack of social connectedness, has been linked to health risks.

Matthew D. Lieberman (author of Social: Why Our Brains are Wired to Connect)

Thus, effective engagement with others is an essential skill to learn. With this skill, you can make more meaningful relationships with others, lessen conflicts and misunderstandings, and work with others in a peaceful way.

Cultivate the skill:

Choose a person you haven’t paid much attention to or you find difficult to relate with. Practice the skill of engagement by demonstrating CARE every time you talk to him or her. Notice what’s different this time in your engagement compared to before.

  1. Curiosity – Take a not-knowing stance and an active interest in the other person.
  2. Attuned communication – As you talk, listen deeply to yourself and the other (What do I feel and want? What does he/she feel and want?). Communicate clearly and kindly (How can I be kind to myself and the other person while I communicate what I feel and want?).
  3. Respect – Mindfully act in a way that shows the other you care about his/her feelings and wellbeing.
  4. Empathy – Open your heart and mind to sense and understand what the other is experiencing.

Here’s a summary of the PEACE skills and ways to cultivate them:

Practice Exercises
P
Presence		Paying attention to what’s in the moment1. Five senses
2. Mindful activity of daily living
3. Mindful eating
E
Emotional awareness and understanding		Being aware of emotions as they arise and understanding that emotions come and go1. Name the emotion
2. Feel the emotion
3. Draw the emotion
A
Acceptance		Being at peace with what is here and now1. Smile at it
2. Accepting hands
C
Compassion		Sensing and easing away the suffering of self and others1. Compassion in action for self
2. Compassion in action for others
3. Loving-kindness meditation
E
Engagement		Engaging with others in a curious, attuned, respectful, and empathic way (CARE)1. Curiosity
2. Attuned communication
3. Respect
4. Empathy

With practice, we can become skillful in coping with uncertainties and difficulties. We can become PEACEful.

May PEACE be with you!

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Blog Wellbeing Practices

The Power of Purpose

We are marking one year since COVID-19 became a pandemic,
causing unprecedented disruption to  lives and economies. By now we have all realized that there is no quick fix to this global crisis, and that despite the availability of vaccines, we would have to cope with a world that will look and feel very different from the one we left behind. Social distancing and masking will continue in the foreseeable future, livelihoods need to be rebuilt, and work systems redesigned. There is no denying, we are facing hard realities ahead. Yet, these challenges are most certainly not beyond us to embrace and overcome. These pivotal moments of change give us the opportunity to step out of living on autopilot mode, and to rediscover life by digging deeper into our whys and connecting with a sense of meaning that is larger than ourselves. When the outside world is shaking with uncertainty and change, we can always turn into our inner world for the grounding power of purpose.

The UC Berkeley Greater Good Science Center defines purpose as “an abiding intention to achieve a long-term goal that is both personally meaningful and makes a positive mark on the world.” Researchers have discovered that a sense of purpose is linked to a number of good outcomes, across the lifespan, including: 

  • Higher levels of happiness and life satisfaction
  • Better educational outcomes 
  • Physical agility
  • Greater cognitive functioning
  • Lower stress levels
  • Greater personal growth, integrity, and health 
  • Boosts work experience and wellbeing 
  • Greater longevity

It is clear that purpose is vital to our wellbeing and resilience. Especially when we are experiencing suffering or difficulty, enlarging our perspective allows us to redefine our experience so that instead of caving in to helplessness and despair, we are held by a vision of the greater good that empowers us to SEE and BE beyond our adversity. Spiritual teacher Michael Bernard Beckwith urges us “to make goals that are worthy of our souls.” He says:

“We are here in this world to let something unfold from within us.”

This way of looking at purpose invites us to seek outside conditioned expectations and goals that are externally defined and imposed upon us, and instead to really pause and consider, “What am I a commitment to? What difference do I want to make in this planet? How is life manifesting through me?”  When we connect with our purpose, we always find others traveling the same path which also decreases our feelings of separateness and isolation. Purpose draws us into the greatness of humanity, the seeds of which are in each one of us, waiting to be nurtured. 

Studies show that purpose is not a fixed goal or destination, but something that evolves throughout our lifespan. Purpose is a journey and a practice. We can tap into the power of purpose at any time in our life, if we’re willing to explore what matters to us, what kind of person we want to be, and act in alignment with the person we want to become (greatergood.berkeley.edu). There are many ways to practice stepping back and gaining a better view of our North Star. We are in the best of times to discover the inextinguishable light within us and to hold this up boldly as walk forward to our future. 

Practices for Cultivating Purpose

1. Identify your values

The first step in cultivating purpose is understanding what is deeply important to you. These are your values and motivations. Give some thought to your values and write them down. Notice how they show up in your day-to-day life. When you uncover what values are most important to you and keep them front and center in your mind, it can transfer even the most mundane tasks into a more meaningful experience. 

2. Pause

Once you clarify your core values, the next step is to find ways to apply them in a range of situations. How do you do this? Take a moment to pause. Make a habit of pausing for short moments throughout the day. A great opportunity for this time of reflection is when you’re transitioning to other activities. Take a mindful breath and bring yourself back into the moment. Then think about the next activity you will be doing and how it connects with your deeper values. Noticing how you apply your values to everyday tasks helps strengthen them in the mind and deepen your sense of purpose. 

3. Reflect and reframe

When you find yourself in a challenging situation, reframing your experience within the lens of your purpose can help shift your perspective. Even small annoyances and daily frustrations can help us sharpen this skill, and that prepares us to weather the big storms of life. In a stressful or challenging situation, bringing our values to mind can put us back in the driver’s seat, shifting our focus to the things we can control. Instead of powerless, we feel empowered, and as a result, we are less defensive and better able to manage our feelings and reactions. The one thing that is always within your control is your perspective, and with the right perspective, even the most challenging situations in life can become deeply meaningful.

4. Act with you purpose in mind

Lead by example. Sometimes the problems happening every day in the world seem insurmountable. When you find yourself caught up in diagnosing the world’s problems, consider what you can do to lead by example. Is there a small step you can take that would help in this moment? Or, is there a simple shift in perspective that can help you see things in a new light? Use your values as a guiding principle in the things you do, leading by example. This can help reinforce your connection to your values and your higher purpose.

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Small Steps, Big Impact: 6 Micro-practices for Thriving Amidst the Pandemic

Almost eight months into this Coronavirus (COVID-19) pandemic and without a vaccine available, many of us remain cautious and stay home to prevent the transmission of the virus. With this massive health crisis continuing to disrupt systems big and small, uncertainty and anxiety continue to be present in our day to day lives.

It is exhausting. It really is.

And yet, we continue to take the challenge head on. We try our best and show our resilience, every single day no matter how tiring or stressful it might be. Still, we do not definitively know how much longer this is going to drag on. How are we going to keep ourselves from burning out?

Science clearly tells us that taking care of oneself is the most essential thing we can do in order to properly care for someone else. We therefore wish to emphasize that in order to be more effective, more resilient and have more impact, it is essential to take proactive steps to manage stress and recharge body and mind. Taking any small step to bolster personal well-being, is not just an investment for oneself, but also in one’s ability to make a difference in the lives of others. (thriveglobal.com)

Self-care does not have to entail long stretches of time and big effort. And realistically speaking, with everything on our plate on a daily basis, we don’t really have the time or brain space for massive changes. Micro-practices can make a huge difference—it’s the small actionable steps, those mini-pauses, that matter more in the long run. All it takes is just a few minutes, and sometimes even just one mindful breath.

6 Micro-practices of Self-Care for Thriving: 

1. Deep Breathing/Paced Breathing

SCIENCE: Shallow breathing is part of the fight-or-flight response that causes secretion of stress hormones, eventually making the body more vulnerable to inflammation and disease. Breathing at a more calmed pace helps dial down the fight-or-flight response so the body can stop pumping unnecessary cortisol and adrenaline. (health.harvard.edu)

PRACTICE:

  • Find a quiet, comfortable place to sit or lie down.
    • First, take a normal breath.
    • Then try a deep breath: Breathe in slowly through your nose, allowing your chest and lower belly to rise as you fill your lungs (e.g. 4 counts). Let your abdomen expand fully.
    • Now breathe out slowly through your mouth or your nose, whatever feels more natural (e.g. 6 counts).
    • Repeat this breathing cycle for 10 times.
  • Once you’ve taken the steps above, you can move on to regular practice of controlled breathing. As you sit comfortably with your eyes closed, blend deep breathing with guided imagery, focusing on a word or phrase, or counting your breaths on the exhales.
  • You can use this breathing practice any time you feel stressed or tense.
2. Yoga Stretches

SCIENCE: The meditative quality of yoga triggers a well-studied physiological change known as the relaxation response.

Sun Salutation Variation Sitting On Chair Yoga (Surya Namaskar ...

This relaxation response has the following benefits:

  • lowers blood pressure, heart rate, breathing rate and oxygen consumption
  • decreases levels of adrenaline the stress hormone cortisol
  • boosts mood, decreases anxiety and depression
  • improves sleep

PRACTICE: Seated Sun Salutation (Images taken from Tummee.com)

3. S.T.O.P. – Shift from Reactive to Responsive

SCIENCE: In high-stress/high-emotion situations, our fight-or-flight tends to cause tunnel vision that leads us to interpret events or situations negatively. Sometimes causing us to act impulsively, say or do things we later regret.

PRACTICE: STOP

When you are feeling alarmed, stressed, or reactive:

  • Stop what you’re doing. Put things down for a minute.
  • Take a few deep breaths. Breathe normally and naturally, following the flow of air in and out of your nose.
  • Observe your experience as is. Notice bodily sensations, thoughts, and emotions with curiosity—no judgements.
  • Proceed with what feels like a wise next step. Ask yourself “What feels supportive in this moment?”
4. Shifting from Harsh Inner Critic to Self-Compassionate Talk

SCIENCE: Self-compassion is a practice that involves directing compassion for oneself during a time of suffering. It consists of three elements— mindfulness (present-focused awareness), common humanity (the understanding that one’s experience is similar to others, thus potentially reducing one’s sense of alienation), and self-kindness (using kind gestures or phrases toward oneself to support oneself). Self-compassion practices have been shown to have the following benefits:

  • improve positive affect, social connection, and self- and other-focused affect
  • espouses growth mindset and helps maintain peace of mind
  • increases productivity and performance even after failure
  • activates nurturance and soothing system that leads to greater feelings of wellbeing

PRACTICE: If you tend to struggle with negative self-talk whenever you make a mistake or feel like you could have done more, try these:

  • Write down the self-critical words that come to your mind, and ask yourself “Would I say these to a friend who is struggling?”
  • Develop a list of easy-to-remember self-compassionate statements such as:
    • I am trying my best. That is enough.
    • It’s understandable that I feel this way.
    • I am not perfect. No one is.
    • I know I didn’t mean for things to turn out this way.
5.  Connecting to Purpose

SCIENCE: A sense of purpose appears to have evolved in humans so that we can accomplish big things together—which may be why it’s associated with better physical and mental health. Purpose is adaptive, in an evolutionary sense. It helps both individuals and the species to survive.

PRACTICE:

  • Sit quietly with your feet in contact with the floor.
  • Take a few moments to settle down, breathing in deeply, inhaling and exhaling comfortably.
  • Feeling the contact of your feet on the solid ground beneath, gently and kindly ask yourself, “What values do I want to hold on to as I do my work and face this challenging situation?”
  • Feeling into the heart or chest area, gently and kindly ask yourself, “What do I wish to give or offer?”
  • Stretching the spine upward and reaching out to the sky, gently and kindly ask yourself, “What accomplishment would mean most to me in this work I’m doing?”  
6. Gratitude

SCIENCE: In a study at UC Davis, subjects who wrote down one thing for which they were grateful every day reported being 25% happier for a full six months after following this practice for just three weeks. A gratitude practice has been associated with increased vitality, improved kidney function, reduced blood pressure and stress hormone levels, and a stronger heart. (Mindfulness: The New Science of Health and Happiness, Time Special Edition)  

“Gratitude blocks toxic emotions, such as envy, resentment, regret and depression, which can destroy our happiness. It’s impossible to feel envious and grateful at the same time.”

Dr. Robert Emmons

PRACTICE: Three Good Things

At the end of each day, think about three things that went well that day, large or small, and describe why you think that happened. Remember the 4Ws (what went well why) as you write these.

This simple practice can be really powerful because it contributes to the past (remembering and appreciating what happened), present (noticing and savoring the positive feeling as you recall each good thing) and future (trains your mind to balance out negativity bias). By reflecting on the sources of these good things, the idea is that you start to see a broader ecosystem of goodness around you.

We hope that you get to try at least one of these micro-practices. And remember Richard Davidson’s words “Happiness and wellbeing are best regarded as skills” so let’s all practice, practice, practice.