Tag: wellbeing

ADHD Diagnosis: Complexities and Caveats

Post author By Rissa Coronel
Post date September 30, 2024
No Comments on ADHD Diagnosis: Complexities and Caveats

The Philippines has made significant strides in mental health awareness, thanks to professionals, advocates, and service users’ efforts. Initiatives such as the Philippine Mental Health Act (R.A. 11036) and the recognition of the rights of psychosocial disabilities under the Magna Carta for Disabled Persons (R.A. 7277) have played pivotal roles in this progress. Advocacy groups are also pushing for legislation like the Neurodivergent People’s Rights Act (H.B. 9787).

Despite these advancements, stigma and misunderstanding surround neurodevelopmental disorders, particularly Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). This is a developmental disorder characterized by patterns of hyperactivity, inattention, or a combination of the two. A diagnosis is given based on the severity of symptoms, level of impairment, and the presence of symptoms since childhood. Globally, ADHD affects 5-7.2% of youth and 2.5-6.7% of adults ^,^,^; but Philippine figures are unfortunately scarce and outdated.

Consider a young boy in his Grade 1 classroom, labeled as “makulit,” “pasaway,” and even “bad,” while he struggles with symptoms of ADHD that go unrecognized. Similarly, imagine a woman in a bustling high-rise building, where her difficulties staying organized lead to exclusion from important email correspondences and social gatherings, all because her colleagues are unaware of her ADHD diagnosis.

Unfortunately, ADHD is still so often shrouded in stigma. Those grappling with the disorder find themselves wrestling to keep pace with the demands of daily life, be it at school, work, or social settings.

Recognizing ADHD as a genuine challenge and not a character flaw, is vital for supporting individuals and dispelling misconceptions.This condition, when properly diagnosed, can be life-saving, paving the way for individuals to alleviate suffering and reclaim their power. But however well-intentioned, there is still a risk of overdiagnosis- an issue that is particularly prevalent in the realm of ADHD, but also within the realm of mental health diagnoses at large. Overdiagnosis can occur due to various factors, ranging from clinician practices to caregiver influences, but this often looks like overprescription of medications and unnecessary interventions. In the case of ADHD, changes in criteria in the

Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders between its fourth and fifth editions have contributed to this concern- it added examples of symptoms seen in adolescents and adults, lessened impairment criteria, and revised the age of onset.

We must also remember that for children, a certain level of kulit is normal and developmentally appropriate. It is a quintessential part of childhood, after all — to dash around, create chaos, and indulge in one’s imagination. However, what distinguishes ADHD diagnosis is the severity and persistence of symptoms over time to the point that there is impairment.

Context also may play a role in facilitating overdiagnoses and misdiagnoses. While legislative progress and heightened awareness have improved access to care, our “digital by default” age has introduced new challenges, further complicating the diagnostic process for mental health disorders. For example, during the pandemic, the proliferation of misleading TikTok videos about ADHD posed a significant risk, as many individuals were facing attention challenges. A study revealed that over half of these videos were misleading, with non-healthcare professionals being the primary uploaders, potentially leading to widespread misinformation and self-diagnosis among their viewers.

On the other hand, many individuals may go undiagnosed until much later, their struggles well-masked by societal expectations and coping mechanisms. There exist gendered differences in the diagnosis of ADHD: boys are significantly more diagnosed with ADHD compared to girls due to differences in presentation. Girls with ADHD often exhibit the inattentive type, which may not manifest as disruptive behavior and consequently may be overlooked for treatment unless their symptoms significantly impact their daily functioning.

And with any diagnosis, whether physical or not, early intervention is crucial. Effective treatment during childhood can significantly improve symptoms and overall functioning, leading to better outcomes. Unfortunately, if left untreated until adulthood, ADHD can result in chaotic lifestyles, other co-occurring mental disorders, and challenges in various aspects of life.

The journey towards an ADHD diagnosis can be unexpectedly complex. For individuals who resonate with ADHD symptoms, every step of the way demands cautious decision-making. It is crucial to be discerning with the information you consume and the healthcare providers that you trust. Ensure that they are equally diligent.

Self-reflection is also essential. Clarify your “why” behind seeking a diagnosis—It could be that receiving ADHD treatment might help you lead a much more fulfilling life. It could also be that you want relief from years of overcompensation. Whatever your “why” is, seeking a comprehensive assessment is essential in this process to tailor-fit treatment to your unique brain. It is not a one-size-fits-all diagnosis, however general the diagnostic manual may make it appear to be; a detailed picture of how your mind works, pinpointing your strengths and challenges, will help specify what you need.

Seeking consultations from various professionals, such as clinical psychologists and psychiatrists, can offer valuable insights and interventions for managing ADHD. Therapy is a crucial component of tailored interventions—it provides individuals with a safe space to learn more about themselves, as well as equips them with essential skills and strategies to cope with their symptoms. Additionally, executive function coaching can further empower individuals with ADHD to navigate daily challenges effectively and achieve their goals. Executive function coaching focuses on enhancing skills like organization, time management, and task prioritization- these are skills that are often affected by ADHD symptoms. By addressing these areas, your quality of life may be significantly enhanced.

Despite the leaps and bounds in mental health perceptions, access, and service delivery, there is still much work to be done. Whether for ourselves or others, there is no time like the present to advocate for better education on mental health concerns like ADHD. Indeed, it is an ongoing journey to challenge misconceptions, develop discernment, and embrace the complexities of these issues. However, it is essential to see the merit in all this effort, to recognize that finally receiving the proper help can save lives. By advocating for improved access to accurate diagnosis and comprehensive treatment, we can empower individuals with ADHD to finally thrive in their communities.

For Executive Functioning (EF) coaching and other clinical services, contact us at clinic@wethriveinc.com.

Sources:

https://lawphil.net/statutes/repacts/ra2018/ra_11036_2018.html
http://hrlibrary.umn.edu/research/Philippines/RA%207277%20-%20Magna%20Carta%20of%20Disabled%20Persons.pdf
https://hrep-website.s3.ap-southeast-1.amazonaws.com/legisdocs/basic_19/HB09787.pdf
Posner J, Polanczyk GV, Sonuga-Barke E. Attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder. Lancet. 2020;395(10222):450–462. doi: 10.1016/S0140-6736(19)33004-1.
Song P, Zha M, Yang Q, Zhang Y, Li X, Rudan I. The prevalence of adult attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder: A global systematic review and meta-analysis. Journal of Global Health. 2021;11:04009. doi: 10.7189/jogh.11.04009.
Thomas R, Sanders S, Doust J, Beller E, Glasziou P. Prevalence of attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder: a systematic review and metaanalysis. Pediatrics. 2015;135(4):e994–e1001. doi: 10.1542/peds.2014-3482.
Merten, E. C., Cwik, J. C., Margraf, J., & Schneider, S. (2017). Overdiagnosis of mental disorders in children and adolescents (in developed countries). Child and adolescent psychiatry and mental health, 11, 1-11.
Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration. DSM-5 Changes: Implications for Child Serious Emotional Disturbance [Internet]. Rockville (MD): Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (US); 2016 Jun. Table 7, DSM-IV to DSM-5 Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder Comparison. Available from: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK519712/table/ch3.t3/
American Psychiatric Association. (2022). Neurodevelopmental disorders. In Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders (5th ed., text rev.).
Yeung, A., Ng, E., & Abi-Jaoude, E. (2022). TikTok and attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder: a cross-sectional study of social media content quality. The Canadian Journal of Psychiatry, 67(12), 899-906.
Bruchmüller, K., Margraf, J., & Schneider, S. (2012). Is ADHD diagnosed in accord with diagnostic criteria? Overdiagnosis and influence of client gender on diagnosis. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 80(1), 128–138. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0026582
Ginsberg, Y., Quintero, J., Anand, E., Casillas, M., & Upadhyaya, H. P. (2014). Underdiagnosis of attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder in adult patients: a review of the literature. The primary care companion for CNS disorders, 16(3), 23591.

Tags ADHD, mental health, mental health Philippines, We Thrive Consultancy and Wellbeing Services, wellbeing, wellbeing practices, wethrivewellbeing

Blog Everyday Thriving General Wellbeing Practices

Eco-diving, Mindfulness, and the Art of Buoyancy in Daily Living

Post author By Rhoanne Ramas
Post date June 7, 2024
No Comments on Eco-diving, Mindfulness, and the Art of Buoyancy in Daily Living

As a diver, I am captivated by the underwater world’s wonder, beauty, and diverse range of life. However, with this fascination comes the responsibility to experience the underwater realm in a way that respects and preserves its delicate ecosystems. This has led me to adopt the principles of eco-diving, mindfulness, and buoyancy, which have not only transformed my diving experiences but also profoundly impacted my daily life.

I now view everyday life as a journey filled with challenges, choices, and opportunities for growth. Amidst the hustle and bustle, I have found unexpected inspiration and guidance. The principles of eco-diving, which focus on minimizing our impact on the environment, have taught me to be more mindful of my actions and their consequences. Mindfulness, which involves being present at the moment and observing my thoughts and emotions without judgment, has helped me develop a greater sense of self-awareness and emotional regulation. The concept of buoyancy, which refers to the ability to control one’s depth and movement underwater, has taught me the importance of balance and adaptability in all aspects of life.

Here are some nuggets of wisdom I have learned along the way that I feel are worth sharing:

1. Making Sustainable Choices

As I navigate the aisles of grocery stores or scroll through online shopping platforms, I am often reminded of the impact of my choices on the environment. Inspired by eco-diving, I have begun to prioritize sustainability in my purchases. Opting for reusable products over single-use plastics, choosing items with minimal packaging, and supporting eco-conscious brands have become small yet meaningful steps toward reducing my ecological footprint. While seemingly insignificant, these choices collectively contribute to a more sustainable lifestyle that aligns with my values and commitment to protecting the planet.

2. Embracing Mindfulness

Amid busy schedules and never-ending to-do lists, it has become crucial to have moments of mindfulness to maintain my mental well-being. Drawing inspiration from my experiences underwater, where every breath serves as a reminder to stay present in the moment, I am trying to incorporate mindfulness practices into my daily routine. Whether it is taking a moment to fully appreciate the aroma of my morning coffee, enjoying a brief walk to appreciate the beauty of nature, or doing breathing exercises before bed, these moments of stillness help me to stay grounded in the present and provide a sense of tranquility amidst the chaos of life.

3. Engaging in Active Conservation Efforts

Although I do not get to go diving very often, my passion for marine conservation goes beyond just exploring the ocean’s depths. After seeing the positive impact of community-driven initiatives while eco-diving, I have actively sought opportunities to contribute to local conservation efforts. This has included participating in beach clean-ups, volunteering with environmental organizations, and promoting sustainable practices within my community as much as possible. Through these experiences, I have realized the power of collective action in preserving our planet. They have allowed me to make a more significant impact and given me a sense of connection and purpose that goes beyond myself.

4. Finding Balance Amidst Chaos

In a world that can often feel chaotic and overwhelming, it has become a constant pursuit to master the art of buoyancy, both underwater and in daily life. As I adjust my buoyancy to maintain stability in the water, I have learned to navigate life’s ups and downs with resilience and adaptability. Trying to prioritize self-care, setting boundaries, and embracing imperfection have become invaluable tools to maintain balance amidst life’s challenges. While the journey towards equilibrium may be ongoing, each moment of grace and resilience serves as a reminder of the inherent strength within myself.

5. Cultivating Connections with Nature

Despite the demands of modern life, I have made a conscious effort to reconnect with nature in meaningful ways. I take leisurely walks and pause to admire the beauty of the sky. These moments of communion with the natural world nourish my soul and replenish my spirit. The awe inspires me, and the wonder I experience underwater has helped me appreciate the intricate beauty of the world around me and the profound interconnectedness of all living beings.

6. Mindful Consumption

As I continue to learn and navigate the complexities of consumer culture, I have become increasingly mindful of my consumption habits and their impact on the planet. Drawing from the principles of buoyancy control, which emphasize awareness of one’s surroundings, I have cultivated a more conscious approach to shopping and consumption. Whether reducing waste, opting for sustainable alternatives, or supporting local artisans and businesses, each choice reflects my commitment to being a responsible steward of the Earth’s resources.

7. Embracing Community and Collaboration

One of the most important lessons I learned from my experiences underwater is the power of community and collaboration in bringing about positive change. Last year, I went on a solo dive trip with the Coral Reef & Rainforest Conservation Project (CRCP). I witnessed firsthand how eco-divers work together to protect vulnerable marine ecosystems. Since then, I have been actively seeking opportunities to collaborate with like-minded individuals and organizations in my community. Whether joining forces for environmental advocacy, volunteering for conservation projects, or simply sharing ideas and resources, these collaborative efforts remind me of our collective strength in shaping a more sustainable future.

The principles of eco-diving, mindfulness, and buoyancy can guide us toward a more conscious, connected, and compassionate existence in our daily lives. These timeless truths can help us navigate the complexities of modern living and find solace and inspiration. Embracing the journey with an open heart and a sense of wonder can lead us to a more fulfilling life. As a diver, I have learned valuable lessons by adopting these principles, becoming a more responsible and balanced individual who strives to positively impact the environment and the people around me.

References:

https://biologicaldiversity.org/programs/population_and_sustainability/sustainability/live_more_sustainably.html
https://www.weforum.org/agenda/2022/10/3-ways-help-consumers-make-more-sustainable-choices
https://www.greenmatch.co.uk/blog/how-to-be-more-eco-friendly
https://www.unep.org/explore-topics/resource-efficiency/what-we-do/sustainable-lifestyles
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/power-mindful-consumption-why-cultivate-restful-world-khan-bhaduri
https://coralreefandrainforestconservationproject.org/
https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0969698923002783
https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1877042815020200

Tags eco-diving, mindfulness, restorative practices, Rhoanne Ramas, wellbeing, wellbeing practices

Blog Everyday Thriving Thrive at Work

Creating workplaces where “care” matters

Post author By Jan Gabriel Castaneda
Post date October 31, 2023
No Comments on Creating workplaces where “care” matters

The month of October is Mental Health Month, and this year we are focusing on how to build workplaces that embody wellbeing. To learn more about our ongoing work with organizations to create these cultures of care in their workplaces, stay tuned for our upcoming activity Leading with Care: The Neuroscience and Practice of Leading a Culture of Care in the Workplace on 07 November 2023.

In We Thrive, we look at mental health as the coming together of many different factors which determine the capacity of a person to live in a way that allows them to reach their fullest potentials. Of course, our individual exercise of our faculties is critical: how we cope with difficult experiences and savor positive ones; how we pay attention to how we feel and think about ourselves and the world; how we interact with others and take part in their lives; and so on. Nowadays, we refer to things like this using the umbrella term “self-care” (ISF, 2023). But as we probably already know, individual efforts are sometimes not enough to reach. We don’t always cope particularly well; we aren’t always able to stop and smell the roses; we aren’t always able to pay attention to what’s happening; and our ability to be part of other people’s lives, or let them be part of ours, is not always at its best. Sometimes, you need help. “The ability to ask for and obtain help is a valuable life skill,” as psychologist Debbie Sorensen puts it, partly as a comment to our culturally-ingrained hyper-focus on independence (Sorensen, 2022). So besides “self-care”, realizing our potentials includes the essential component of togetherness, where interdependence is just as prized as independence, and where reaching one’s potentials is not simply an individual effort. We can call this “community care”: as author and psychotherapist Minaa B. defines as “[using] our power, privilege, and resources to better the people who are both in and out of our scope of reach” (Minaa B., 2021).

The idea that “our wellbeing is contagious” gives us a sense of how embedded the impulses of community care actually is in our human makeup, and how our own health and flourishing depends as much on others as it does on our own efforts in ways that sometimes surprises us (Suttie, 2020). And in relation to workplace stress and one of the primary mental health challenges of “[managing] the pressures so that life is productive and enjoyable” (Teasedale, 2006), the idea of community care can provide a more integrative approach to ensuring the wellbeing of people in the context of groups and institutions. We know for example the consequences of a lack of consideration of wellbeing can be, with losses in the millions whether we’re referring to potential profits or working days lost to attrition or sick leaves (Graveling et al., 2008). Conversely, we know about the even greater benefits taking wellbeing seriously has to all kinds of organizational and business outcomes (Sears, Shi, Coberley, & Pope, 2013). But where do you begin? In this article, we want to share some advice about how to apply the concept of “community care” to thinking about how organizations can build up its practices towards creating workplaces where “care” is integral rather than supplemental to the overall business strategy.

Community care in three categories

Thanks to some clever analysis of the literature, researchers were able to offer a more condensed definition of this widely and wildly defined idea of self-care: “The ability to care for oneself through awareness, self-control, and self-reliance in order to achieve, maintain, or promote optimal health and well-being” (Martínez, Connelly, Pérez, & Calero, 2021). Using these three concepts, we can organize our thinking about wellbeing along these lines and how they might apply to community care. How can workplaces create spaces and relationships where people can support each-other’s capacities for awareness, self-control, and self-reliance?

Awareness. This is about the ability to monitor, measure, and interpret one’s experiences (or “symptoms”, as used in their paper). This awareness is the natural first step to achieving wellbeing: after all, you cannot act wisely without the appropriate information. Applied to community care, this means helping each-other bring attention to our concerns, whether this means identifying specific forms of support or simply articulating some difficulty in or out of work in order to have some much-needed emotional release. Besides this, it also means helping each-other bring attention to our wins, allowing us to become more present to moments worth celebrating and appreciating. And building on the idea of interpretation, awareness is about bringing attention to the “meaning” of experiences, and helping each-other discern how our experiences at work match up with our values, beliefs, goals, and how we want life to be in general.

Reflection: Are employees afforded the necessary resources, opportunities, and structures to cultivate greater awareness? Do the relationships between peers and between team members and team leaders foster a sense of safety and security where people are not only able but encouraged to work together to identify, articulate, and respond to their experiences as a community?

Self-control. In the words of Martínez and colleagues, self-control is the “product of a person acting as a unitary being and engaging in regulation and control of their self and emotions”. Achieving wellbeing, whether we like it or not, requires perseverance, sustained effort, and more than a little strategizing. Applied to community care, this means helping each-other initiate and build on the habits necessary for regulation, maximizing our individual abilities to contain and ground ourselves. It also means creating relationships and systems within the workplace that don’t unnecessarily tax these abilities. Borrowing the researchers’ use of the term, self-control in the context of community care means thinking of the community as a “unitary being”, where each person must in some ways exercise responsibility for another’s capacity to recover and return to states of calm and ease.

Reflection: Are employees afforded the necessary resources, opportunities, and structures to cultivate greater self-control? Do the relationships between peers and between team members and team leaders foster that sense of trust that, to the extent possible, we can rely on one-another as a means of regulating when things get tough?

Self-reliance. Though not defined directly in the study, the researchers offered a case study about a man who “sustained a wound to his right leg when he slipped in a canyon” but that, while he “was aware of the injury”, the man “did not treat the wound, and his entire leg became swollen, red, and hot”. So while taking consideration of the case study’s particular context, we can think of self-reliance as our ability to initiate the appropriate actions by ourselves, which requires a level of self-efficacy, self-trust, and a general belief that we can do something with our circumstances. Applied to community care, this means helping each-other create the necessary cognitive and behavioral scaffolding in our work to both have the appropriate level of trust in our own abilities (remember: asking for help is an important skill) and the necessary skills for acting on that self-confidence in productive and meaningful ways. Using the case study, self-reliance is both about trusting that your team will help you with the wound and also about your team trusting you enough to at least clean and dress the wound first.

Reflection: Are employees afforded the necessary resources, opportunities, and structures to cultivate greater self-reliance? Do the relationships between peers and between team members and team leaders create an environment that is not only challenging but also encouraging?

For mental health support services, email us at resilientteams@wethrivewellbeing.com or contact us to sign-up for sessions with our mental health clinicians.

References (in order of appearance)

https://www.liebertpub.com/doi/full/10.1089/pop.2012.0114

Tags culture of care, everyday thriving, mental health, We Thrive Consultancy and Wellbeing Services, wellbeing, wellbeing practices, wellbeing resources, wethrivewellbeing, workplace wellbeing

Blog Everyday Thriving Thrive at Work Thrive in School

Helping Out a Friend Through a Mental Crisis Using ALGEE

Post author By Nathania Gutierrez
Post date March 24, 2023
No Comments on Helping Out a Friend Through a Mental Crisis Using ALGEE

Have you ever heard of the statement “That’s what friends are for”? It implies the role of a friend as someone you can count on to help you out. So when a friend reaches out and opens up about a problem, it seems natural to listen, comfort, and support them as best as you can. But there are times when you may not feel confident enough to help them. You may feel like you don’t understand the problem very well because you have not experienced it, or you have probably dealt with a similar problem before but could not understand why your friend is struggling with it. Sometimes, the idea of saying something wrong and making things worse for your friend is daunting in and of itself. Fortunately, there is one way for you to help your friend in times of mental distress.

So how can I help my friend out?

Like with medical concerns, you can provide first aid for mental health concerns.

Mental Health First Aid (MHFA) is done to help someone experiencing a mental health crisis when professional help is not yet available. ALGEE is a tool that is used to provide MHFA. It won’t teach you how to become your friend’s personal therapist, but it will help you provide them with the support they need to cope with what they are going through in that moment of crisis.

ALGEE is an acronym that stands for the following: Assess for risks of suicide or harm; Listen without judgment; Give reassurance and information; Encourage appropriate professional help; and Encourage self-help and other support strategies.

How do you use ALGEE?

ALGEE can be done in any order, depending on what you think your friend needs at the moment. Below is an overview of how you can approach and what you can expect to happen in each step.

1. ASSESS for risk of suicide and harm

This step involves observing for any signs that would tell that a person is in distress. Such signs can be a sudden change in behavior or an unusual reaction to a particular topic or situation. You should also be alert to mentions or jokes of your friend contemplating suicide, as well as self-harm behaviors such as cutting, engaging in excessive substance use (such as alcohol, cigarettes, or drugs), or doing risky activities that can harm them physically.

If you find out that your friend is actively hurting themself or has plans to commit suicide, then it is important to persuade them to get help as soon as possible.

2. LISTEN without judgment

People who are in distress want to be heard. That’s why it is important to give them the opportunity to say what they want to say uninterrupted. Keep an open mind about what they are saying, even when you do not agree with them. Avoid making speculations or giving advice, unless your friend specifically asks for your opinion on the matter.

Show that you are actively listening by keeping an open and receptive body posture (that is, arms and legs uncrossed and palms resting comfortably on the lap or desk) and maintaining eye contact. You can also make appropriate verbal responses to show that you understand and follow what they are saying. Responses may be in the form of reinforcements (“I see.” or “Uh-huh.”), acknowledgements (“That’s tough.” or “I can imagine how confusing it is to be in that situation.”), questions (“What did you do to cope with that situation?”), and reflections (“This is what I heard from you. Am I understanding it correctly?”). If you’re talking with your friend through text or chat, you may need to rely more on verbal responses to better understand each other.

3. GIVE reassurance and information

In an effort to cheer your friend, you may sometimes find yourself telling them that everything will be okay or that they can do things if they only believe in themselves. However, people in distress may feel so overwhelmed and hopeless that they cannot see their situation improving or believe that they can act on their problems. To give reassurance, you need to make them see the possibility. You can do this by providing evidence and information. Are there ways to deal with their problem that they may not have thought of? Have there been situations that contradict a negative thought that’s been running through their mind? Helping them find evidence that there are things that can be done is an effective way of instilling hope in them.

There may be times when your friend thinks that undesired feelings or behaviors, such as lashing out at other people or being too afraid to speak in public, are their fault. However, such feelings or behaviors may actually be symptoms of a particular mental illness or of significant distress that could lead to a mental illness if untreated. Thus, it is important to emphasize that mental illness is real and the symptoms they are experiencing can be treated with the right help.

4. ENCOURAGE appropriate professional help

The earlier your friend gets help, the more likely they can recover. Find out what kind of support your friend needs at the moment and help them find professionals, agencies, organizations, or institutions that can make things a little easier for them.

If they need psychological help, there are various mental health services and programs available. Some universities and organizations offer free therapy sessions, although they may be limited in terms of slots or the number of sessions that can be availed. For long-term and more intensive help, paid therapy sessions in clinics and hospitals may be necessary. You can check out the directory of mental health facilities in the country created by #MentalHealthPH here. Additionally, 24/7 crisis lines come in handy whenever there is a need to overcome a mental crisis or to prevent a suicide attempt. A list of these hotlines can be found here. Regardless of whether payment is involved, simply being able to attend therapy is already a huge step towards healing.

5. ENCOURAGE self-help and other support strategies

Mental health services aren’t always available, and this can be a problem when your friend experiences a panic attack or suddenly feels overwhelmed by suicidal thoughts. Knowing how to deal with these emergencies helps them develop the skills to cope with crises on their own. Coping strategies such as breathing, grounding, and self-soothing techniques are useful during panic attacks. Utilizing tools for mindfulness and emotion regulation also helps practice control and lessen chaotic situations caused by outbursts. Exercising, spending time with friends and families, and engaging in hobbies and other recreational activities can help improve one’s quality of life. For some mindfulness breathing exercises, you can check out Circle of Hope’s Hingalangin videos on their Facebook page.

To see a demonstration of ALGEE, you can watch this roleplay video on YouTube.

Are there things I should consider when using ALGEE?

As a mental health first aid tool, the main purpose of ALGEE is not to diagnose your friend or solve their problem, but to help determine their needs and provide appropriate support. While your closeness can help your friend be more comfortable opening up to you, it is important to always be objective, express empathy, and abide by the principle of “Do no harm.”

Here are ways that you can do this.

Keep what is said confidential, unless help from other people is necessary.

It takes courage for a person to open up about their struggles. Some people refuse to share what they are going through for fear of exposing themselves to the wrong people. Reaching out to you means that they trust you to keep what they have said only to yourself. Before going through ALGEE, it is best to set up a time and a place to talk to your friend privately. This will give your friend a chance to be vulnerable in a safe space. However, keep in mind that if there is a high risk that your friend would commit suicide, ensuring their safety by asking for help from other people and authorities is necessary.

Do not force your friend to share their problems with you.

Sometimes, people are just not ready to talk about their problems. If your friend outright tells you that they do not want to talk, do not force them to. Instead, encourage them to talk to someone that they trust or assure them that you are available to listen to them whenever they are ready. You can also simply ask them what they need at the moment. Show them that there is someone who is willing to listen and help, and they have the option to choose who or when they seek help.

Refrain from invalidating them or trivializing what your friend is going through.

Some people keep their worries to themselves because they believe that no one would hear them out or make the effort to understand them. When your friend opens up to you, listen well and try to see the situation from their perspective. If there are things they said that you do not agree with, do not reject or dismiss what they are feeling or thinking about. If you think that their problems are too simple, remember that every person is affected by situations differently. What may be easy for you may be too much for them. Likewise, if you have experienced a similar problem and have resolved it successfully, take note that what may have worked for you may not work for them. Thus, when providing help and support, consider their strengths and weaknesses.

Give your friend the control that they need through options.

One of the reasons why people usually feel distressed is because they feel that they cannot control their situation. Thus, if solutions are imposed on them, the feeling of having a lack of control will increase. If you have a solution in mind, ask first if they are open to hear advice. If they are, assure them that your advice is simply a suggestion and is open to modifications until they find one that they are comfortable with.

Improvise, adapt, and overcome.

There are times when it can’t be helped to expect something from your friend or from the situation. However, it is important to be open to the possibility that things may not go your way. Something may keep your friend from getting help despite your agreement or keep the situation from improving as you both hope. Identify the challenges, seek alternatives, and try again. And remember, it’s okay to make mistakes!

Watch out and prepare yourself for compassion fatigue.

While being there for a friend during their toughest times is admirable, there are times when their problems, emotions, and negative thoughts can get to you too. When you feel overwhelmed with helping your friend or are starting to feel affected by what they’re going through, you may be experiencing compassion fatigue. It is important to be mindful of the symptoms of compassion fatigue and to prepare yourself to prevent it or address it when it comes. Remember to take a break if you have to and to take care of yourself first every once in a while. It’s also important to not be too hard on yourself if things don’t go as well as you hope. If your friend deserves compassion, then don’t you deserve some as well? You can practice some self-compassion exercises to help you combat compassion fatigue.

Using ALGEE is a great way to create a mental checklist of what you can do to help out a friend during a mental crisis. However, this does not mean that you have to strictly abide by it or be overly concerned if you skip a step. The most important thing about helping a friend is being there for them and showing them that you care.

References:

Altta Wellbeing. (2019, September 30). ALGEE – 5 letters, 1 life saved every time. https://wellbeing.altta.co.uk/algee/

Jorm, A. (2016). Key Elements of Mental Health First Aid. Alan J Fisher Centre for Public Mental Health. http://cpmh.org.za/wmhd/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/Key-Elements.pdf

Martinelli, K. (2023, February 20). How to Support a Friend With Mental Health Challenges. Child Mind Institute. https://childmind.org/article/support-friend-with-mental-health-challenges/

Mental Health Foundation. (n.d.). How to support someone with a mental health problem. https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/explore-mental-health/articles/how-support-someone-mental-health-problem

Thurrott, S. (2021, June 11). Watch for These Key Warning Signs of Compassion Fatigue. Banner Health. https://www.bannerhealth.com/healthcareblog/teach-me/watch-for-these-key-warning-signs-of-compassion-fatigue

Tags ALGEE, crisis responses, mental health, mental health first aid, MHFA, We Thrive, We Thrive Consultancy and Wellbeing Services, wellbeing, wellbeing practices, wellbeing resources, wethrivewellbeing

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Navigating the Road to Healthy Boundaries

Post author By Carmella Mergenio
Post date December 1, 2022
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Have you ever driven a car? Driving is a useful yet rigorous skill to learn.

Similar to driving, setting healthy boundaries is a rewarding skill that can help us go places. We are the driver navigating our way through the busy district of interpersonal relationships. Learning to set healthy boundaries needs conscious effort, and it can make us feel a mixture of excitement and fear – like driving for the first time.

Following the rules

Since childhood, we have been taught to follow the rules: obey the elders, be agreeable to our peers, consider others’ feelings, and be mindful of how others view us. These rules usually remain with us until adulthood as we continue to defer to our parents, comply with our supervisors, and yield to our partners. More so, these rules help us maintain harmonious relationships with others.

The downside of rigidly following these rules is developing our fear of interpersonal conflicts. The need for belongingness and acceptance drives us to indulge others even with a heavy heart. Some demands
can make us feel uncomfortable, but we do them anyway to avoid the guilt and anxiety of saying no.

Sometimes people misinterpret the rules of social relationships. We become compliant instead of compromising to maintain “conflict-free” relationships. Giving in to the backseat drivers can be exhausting; we have to take the wheel ourselves.

Keeping safe distance

Being too close to other cars raises the chance of collision. The same goes with having little to no personal space. It may appear counterintuitive, but saying no to others can improve our relationships.

Boundaries are the limits we establish for ourselves on our participation in social activities to preserve our integrity. They make us feel comfortable genuinely expressing ourselves and still safe around others. They are not meant to keep people away but to provide us enough space to assert our needs, wants, and expectations of others.

Dr. Sheri Jacobson, a retired senior therapist and founder of Harley Therapy in the United Kingdom, listed the adverse effects of having poor boundaries. We become vulnerable to stress, anxiety, depression, and burnout. While we try to avoid interpersonal conflicts, we may still have bad relationships. Others can take advantage of us even unintentionally at times. Our frustration, resentment, and anger will eventually accumulate, and passive aggression may seem like the only way to stand up for ourselves. The worst case is losing our own identity as we prioritize others more than
ourselves.

Paying attention to the signs

As you journey through setting healthy boundaries, you need to look out for the signs of being a people pleaser. According to Nedra Glover Tawwab, a therapist and author of Set Boundaries, Find Peace, poor
boundaries manifest in four ways:

1. Neglecting self-care

Whenever you accommodate others’ wishes, you give a part of yourself to them – your time, energy, and resources. A telltale sign of having poor boundaries is not having enough of these for your own. It is neither selfish nor inconsiderate to give yourself some space. Remember, you cannot run with your gas tank empty or battery drained. You have to take care of yourself first to take care of others.

2. Overwhelmed

People with poor boundaries feel overwhelmed most of the time as they tend to accept more tasks than they can manage. They constantly worry about fitting everything into their schedule. You need to know your limits and work only within your limits. Going beyond them results in exhaustion and burnout.

3. Resentment

People who are compelled to do something may feel annoyed. Worse, those taken for granted feel hurt, bitter, and angry. Resentment will pile up and negatively affects your relationships in the long run. The little things we used to enjoy doing for and with others start to feel like duties – boring and tiring. Note that relationships should not be a burden; instead, they should be one of your sources of happiness, hope, and support.

4. Avoidance

When you cannot assert yourself, you will likely respond to resentment by avoiding others. It is passive aggression to ignore or cut off people. Delaying responses and bailing out of trips are some avoidant strategies that can isolate you. These are not helpful because they do not convey to others why you evade them; hence, they will continue to ask you favors.

Map to healthy boundaries

When you recognize the warning signs, hit the break and take the route to setting healthy boundaries. Adapted from Tawwab, you can follow this roadmap:

1. Identify your boundaries

The first step in setting healthy boundaries is to know your wants, needs, and expectations. Observe yourself and reflect on your emotions and thoughts.

Do you want to do this?
Are youcomfortable doing that?
What do you need?
What do you expect others to do to you or for you?

Ask these questions to know more about yourself and your limits. Honesty is crucial in this step.

2. Communicate

People are not mind readers; you have to tell them our boundaries. More importantly, you must state them clearly and directly – not just signals of maybe’s or I-don’t-know’s. In doing so, others become aware of how you want to be treated. You may beat around the bush because you find confrontations agonizing, but indirectly communicating our boundaries can only be confusing.

3. Deal with the discomfort

Setting boundaries can initially elicit some discomfort. You may feel guilt for being “selfish” or “mean.” You may feel fear that your future interactions will be awkward. You may also worry about saying the right words in the right tone at the right time. However, practice can make it feel easy and natural. Remind yourself that you are setting boundaries for your wellbeing. Engage in other self-care activities as well to improve your mood while learning how to say no.

4. Follow through

Despite feeling some degree of discomfort, you have to commit to honoring your boundaries. Consistency is key. Show people that you take your boundaries seriously, and they should, too. Immediately speak up when others go overboard. Tell them how you feel about it and what you prefer them to do. Do not let anyone slide, as it only encourages others to continue disregarding your boundaries.

The roadmap may appear short and straightforward, but it can be a long and winding road. You may find yourself going in circles, and it is definitely okay. When this happens, pull up and refer to the map to find your way again. You can also ask a reliable friend to hop in for a while and help you stay on track.

Establishing healthy boundaries leads to an enjoyable life. You become true to yourself, and others learn to honor your decisions. You get the most out of your relationships because you are respected – by yourself and others.

Now that you know the rules, the signs, and the map, may you continue to share your adventures with others while enjoying some healthy space for yourself.

References:

American Psychological Association (n.d.) Boundary. APA Dictionary of Psychology.
https://dictionary.apa.org/boundary
Jacobson, S. (2015, March 24). The Psychological Cost of Never Saying No. Harley Therapy.
https://www.harleytherapy.co.uk/counselling/saying-no.htm
Tawwab, N. G. (2021). What the Heck are Boundaries?. Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself. Penguin Random House LLC

Tags boundaries, limits, mental health, setting boundaries, wellbeing

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Tune In: How Music Fosters Wellbeing

Post author By Jirah Gealon
Post date October 1, 2022
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“‘Cause when you get older, life gets colder
Sometimes I just wanna hit pause, but I’m afraid I’ll never press play again…”
Clara Benin

When was the last time you checked in with yourself and asked how you’re truly doing?

With all the demands that life throws at us, we may easily fall into the trap of mindlessness, juggling many things all at once without examining ourselves in the process; thereby, running the risk of wearing ourselves out in the long run. Add to it the culture we live in where busyness, overproductivity, and urgency are being glorified. Who has the luxury to be still a few minutes in a day when work pressures you to submit it now? Who even cares about how you feel when outputs have become implied measures of one’s worth? If we won’t make deliberate choices for our wellbeing, these can be detrimental to our health and our ability to flourish as we live this one precious life we’re gifted with.

Press Pause and Tune In

Think of the self like a musical instrument, say, for example, a guitar. It would be pointless to sing and be accompanied by it if the instrument is out of tune. In order to maximize the value and function of a guitar (and this goes with most instruments), it has to be set in proper tuning. Too much tightness could cause the strings to break. On the other end, when you don’t plan to use the guitar for quite some time, it’s best to loosen up the strings in order to prevent them from possibly breaking.

The same goes for us, human beings. When we’re constantly exposed to stress and we’re unable to release the tension, it affects how we think, feel and relate with others in negative ways. Moreover, our bodies will eventually suffer and it may manifest as physical illnesses. In order to be at our optimal selves, we need to pause, tune ourselves, and acknowledge where we are at the moment with gentleness and self-compassion.

Tuning ourselves may look different for each of us, just like getting quality sleep, eating healthy foods, ensuring that we’re regularly connected with the people we love and who support us, having a me-time, creating space to feel both pleasant and unpleasant emotions, being mindfully aware as thoughts and feelings come and go in the present moment. The last two may take time some practice in order to cultivate such awareness, but one tool has been helpful in making it happen— music.

Permission to feel

Who gave you permission to feel?

Music.

What seemed to be just a moment of mindless scrolling on Twitter ended up as an “aha!” moment that eventually led me to reflective mode, just like how you listen to a song for the first time, and it suddenly hits right in the feels. Familiar, isn’t it?

Whether as a listener or creator, one cannot deny the power of music in evoking emotions. We know from experience how music gives us the comfort we need when going through difficult times, the focus and energy boost in completing tasks, and even transporting us back into key events in our lives where we try to make meaning and reconstruct our own narrative. It serves a myriad of functions, most especially in enhancing our wellbeing.

Music and wellbeing

1. Music as a safe space for feelings

“Perhaps the therapeutic use of music allows people to
experience emotions safely… (Wilkinson, 2018).” Remember the moments you listened to music when you needed a good cry or you need to feel calm. Maybe the lyrics resonated with what you’re currently going through, which gives you a sense of comfort, the feeling of being held, and the validation that you’re not alone. Or, if you’re a musician and you’re trying to capture your feelings into melodies, the act of playing your instrument becomes cathartic for
you. A song is like a friend who provides that safe, grounding, and non-judgmental space that gives you permission to feel in that present moment. Joy, sadness, fear, anger, hope, love, awe— all emotions are welcome here. These “permission to feel” moments are important in maintaining our wellbeing since it allows us to acknowledge the complexities of our emotions which is key to emotion regulation, instead of running away or numbing them.

A qualitative study by Saarikallio (2010) explored music-related strategies of emotional self-regulation during adulthood and found that participants turn to music for:

happy mood maintenance
revival and relaxation especially when tired
strong sensations and powerful emotional experiences such as intense enjoyment, deep concentration and emotional involvement in music (e.g. being part of an opera production or watching a live concert)
diversion or distraction from unwanted thoughts and feelings
discharge and disclosure—that is, releasing and venting anger or sadness through music that expressed these emotions
mental work such as being able to face, contemplate and work through unsettling emotional experiences,
solace— acting like a comforting friend who understands and accepts you when you feel sad, melancholic or hopeless; and
‘psyching up’— uplifting one’s mood and raisingone’s energy levels for an activity.

2. Music helps us get “in the zone”

Being completely absorbed in an activity that you lose track of time is known as flow or commonly known as “in the zone”. This intense and focused concentration on the present moment can be achieved through the help of music. You may recall a time that listening to an ambient or instrumental music helped you stay focused in finishing a task such as writing or studying for an exam. According to Mihály Csíkszentmihályi (2014), the main proponent of the concept of flow:

“merely having music playing in the background does not evoke flow, but listening to music as the main activity so that attention can be focused on the music is an important precondition for getting into and staying in flow.”
Mihály Csíkszentmihályi (2014)

The key then is to listen mindfully to the music. To practice, set aside at least five minutes to listen mindfully to a song of your choice (one that doesn’t have lyrics), sit with it and listen to all the elements used in the song, from the instruments used to how it’s arranged. As you cultivate mindful listening to the music, it increases your likelihood of getting into flow.

3. Music as a tool for enhancing social connections

There is no doubt that music is best enjoyed when it is experienced and shared with others— whether that could take in a form of singing together in a group (karaoke sessions), teaching another person on how to play an instrument, meeting strangers who have turned into friends in a concert of your favorite band, curating a playlist for your loved one and sharing it to them ‘cause that’s your love language, or being part of a fan group and interacting with the artist. Sometimes, when we’re having difficulty in articulating our thoughts and feelings to our friends, it helps to share instead a song that relates to our experience so that our friend would understand where we are. Koelsch (2013) reviews the social functions of music such as being able to increase contact, coordination and cooperation with others, engage in social cognition wherein the listener tries to understand the intent and message of the artist expressed in the song, participate in co-pathy (a social function of empathy), which all leads to social cohesion— satisfying our human need to belong.

Truly, music allows us to feel connected to all of humanity. Music indeed is a gift to us, especially as we continue to take care of our wellbeing. May we practice tuning in to ourselves with the help of music, allowing it to take us to places of our souls that need some tending. And just “be”.

Sources:

Csikszentmihalyi, M. (2014). Flow and the foundations of positive psychology: The collected works of Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi. Retrieved from https://doi.org/10.1007/978-94-017-9088-8
Koelsch, S. (2013). From Social Contact to Social Cohesion—The 7 Cs. Music and Medicine, 5, 204-209. Retrieved from https://stefan koelsch.de/papers/koelsch_2013_from_social_contact_to_social_cohesion_the_7_cs.pdf
Saarikallio, S. (2010). Music as emotional self-regulation throughout adulthood. Psychology of Music, 39(3), 307–327. doi:10.1177/0305735610374894
Wilkinson, R. (2018). Foreword. In N. Sunderland, N. Lewandowski, D. Bendrups, B.L. Bartleet, Music, Health and Wellbeing Exploring Music for Health Equity and Social Justice. Retrieved from https://doi.org/10.1057/978-1-349-95284-7

Tags mental health, music, music and wellbeing, We Thrive Consultancy and Wellbeing Services, wellbeing, wellbeing practices, wellbeing resources, wethrivewellbeing

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4 Simple Expressive Arts and Mindfulness Activities to Improve Your Well-Being

Post author By Carol Tongco
Post date September 12, 2022
1 Comment on 4 Simple Expressive Arts and Mindfulness Activities to Improve Your Well-Being

Growing up, I have had a love-hate relationship with arts. Back in pre-school, I remembered how my classmates and teacher laughed at my artwork during a show and tell. I no longer wanted to do art since then. I thought, maybe, art was not for me. In my teen years, I rekindled my relationship with arts. At this time, it was arts that helped me cope with my personal challenges as an adolescent. I kept a journal with poems and drawings to express the feelings I cannot express with my friends and loved ones. I also got into theater and felt a cathartic experience as I released my emotions through the characters I portray. Visual arts, poetry and theater became my best friend who listen without judgment.

My first encounter with a mindfulness practice was through Inner Dance Conscious Meditation. Inner Dance is a spiritual healing modality rooted in ancient Filipino Shamanic “Babaylan” tradition. Inner Dance infuses meditation, intuitive free flowing movement, and energy healing to connect with inner awareness of body, mind, and emotion. Through Inner Dance, I was able to connect with my body and learned to be more compassionate with myself.

With these experiences, came my desire to dive deep into learning more about the fusion of expressive arts and mindfulness. With that said, I would like to share 4 simple ways on how to use expressive arts and mindfulness to improve our well-being. But before that, let us enumerate the definitions of these two concepts.

Mindfulness is “moment-to-moment, non-judgmental awareness, cultivated by paying attention in a specific way, that is, in the present moment and as non-reactively, as non-judgmentally, and as openheartedly as possible.”
Jon Kabat-Zinn

Expressive arts as defined by International Expressive Arts Therapy Association® (IEATA®) as, “combination of visual arts, movement, drama, music, writing and other creative processes to foster deep personal growth and community development.”

Reading through these technical definitions, we can say that these two concepts fits well together. Why? When we think of doing any form of art expression, whether it is drawing, writing, music making or movement, our first thought or reaction might be, “Do I have the ability to make this art expression appear pleasant to other people?”. We already come up with judgement, a resistance, a reaction because we grew up in an environment where art has standard.

While expressive arts invite us to use different modalities without focus on the aesthetics; mindfulness can help us participate in expressive arts activities, by being fully present, moment to moment, non judgmentally and with openness.

Mindfulness and expressive arts have been integrated in different practices such as Focusing-Oriented Expressive Arts (FOAT) and Mindfulness-Based Art Therapy (MBAT). These approaches were
discussed by the psychologist, Dr. Laury Rappaport in her book “Mindfulness and the Arts Therapies.” These approaches are widely used in different settings and population. According to Dr. Rappaport, we can trace back the roots of mindfulness and expressive arts in ancient rituals, religious and indigenous practices and these has brought community healing and transformation. The experience of doing any form of art expression gives us access to witness our inner experience and become absorbed in a state of flow. Mindfulness complements this experience by bringing self-compassion, non-judgmental, openness and being in the present moment.

Alright! Enough with the definitions! Let us now try some simple mindfulness and expressive arts activities you can do on your own at your most convenient time.

Mindful breathing with vocal toning

Do you notice that you unconsciously sigh with sound when you’re feeling exasperated or feeling a sense of relief? It’s because your body regulates itself through rhythm and sound. According to Peter Levine, making any sound stimulate the ventral vagal nerve and calm your body. Let’s try combining mindful breathing and sound making. Here are the steps:

Find a place where you can’t be disturbed. It’s best that you do this gentle movements in bare foot so you can feel the ground.
Stand straight, your feet slightly apart. Make sure your weight is evenly distributed on the soles of your feet.
Notice the sensation of your feet touching the ground. Is the ground cold or warm? Rough or smooth? Notice the feeling of support of the ground where your feet touch.
Bring gentle attention to your breathing. Notice the sensation of the air coming in and out of your nose, and the rising and falling of your chest and stomach. Also, notice the pace of your breathing. There’s nothing to change. Just notice your breathing with curiosity, gentleness, compassion and non-judgement.
Follow the pace of your breathing together with gentle movements. Raise your arms as you inhale. Move your arms downwards as you exhale.
Notice the sensation in your body as you repeatedly do this movement. Are there any thoughts, feelings, emotions coming up Be kind, gentle, welcoming, compassionate and curious towards any feeling or thought that may come.

Mindful breathing with movements

In Cathy Malchiodi’s book entitled, Trauma and Expressive Arts Therapy, she combined grounding and anchoring together with some gentle body movements to help the client focus or attention to the here and now. Let’s try some gentle movements combined with our breathing. Here are the steps:

Find a place where you can’t be disturbed. It’s best that you do this gentle movements in barefoot so you can feel the ground.
Stand straight, your feet slightly apart. Make sure your weight is evenly distributed on the soles of your feet.
Notice the sensation of your feet touching the ground. Is the ground cold or warm? Rough or smooth? Notice the feeling of support of the ground where your feet touch.
Bring gentle attention to your breathing. Notice the sensation of the air coming in and out of your nose, and the rising and falling of your chest and stomach. Also, notice the pace of your breathing. There’s nothing to change. Just notice your breathing with curiosity, gentleness, compassion and non-judgement.
Follow the pace of your breathing together with gentle movements. Raise your arms as you inhale. Move your arms downwards as you exhale.
Notice the sensation in your body as you repeatedly do this movement. Are there any thoughts, feelings, emotions coming up? Be kind, gentle, welcoming, compassionate and curious to any feeling or thought that may come.

Mindful breathing while doodling

Another way to anchor our attention to the here and now is called drawing the breath. For Cathy Malchiodi, this is a non-threatening way to combine mindfulness and self-regulation. Now, let’s try this simple mindful breathing with doodling exercise. Here are the steps:

Prepare any kind of paper or writing instrument for this exercise. Find a comfortable place where you cannot be disturbed.
Bring gentle attention to your breathing. Notice the sensation of the air coming in and out of your nose, and the rising and falling of your chest and stomach. Also, notice the pace of your breathing. There’s nothing to change. Just notice your breathing with curiosity, gentleness, compassion and non-judgement.
Following the pace and depth of your breath, make any line stroke on your paper that represents your inhale and exhale. It could be an upstroke for every inhale or downstroke with every exhale. Explore different line strokes, there is no right or wrong way of expressing it.
Notice the sensation in your body as you repeatedly doodle together with your breathing. Are there any thoughts, feelings, emotions coming up? Be kind, gentle, welcoming, compassionate or curious to any feeling or thought that may come.

Reflective free-flowing

Shaun McNiff has suggested the process of conscious reflection of what is happening in the present moment. In the last three activities that we did, we tried to be kind, gentle, welcoming, compassionate and curious to the different sensations, thoughts and feelings that arise. In this last activity, let us try to do contemplative writing by expressing our experience in a free-flowing writing. Here are some guidelines when doing reflective free flow writing exercise.

Just let the words flow.
Do not try to sensor what you write.
Do not mind the grammar, language, or form.
Feel free to write it in the language you are comfortable expressing.
Just continuously write until you have exhausted all the feelings or thoughts you have experienced whether it is a pleasant or unpleasant.
When you are done, read what you wrote and sense inside how does this experience feel inside your body.

As Pablo Picasso once said, “Art washes from the soul the dust of everyday life.” We hope that these simple mindfulness and expressive arts exercises were able to help you dust off the everyday stress you
are experiencing.

References:

About Us. ieata. (n.d.). Retrieved April 21, 2022, from https://www.ieata.org/
Art Of Healing Dr Amir Farid Isahak. (2019, July 29). Inner dance of healing qi. The Star. Retrieved April 21, 2022, from https://www.thestar.com.my/lifestyle/viewpoints/art-of-healing/2008/06/22/inner-dance-of-healing-qi
Kabat-Zinn, J. (2018). Meditation is not what you think. Piatkus.
Malchiodi, C. A. (2020). Trauma and expressive arts therapy: Brain, body, and imagination in the healing process. NY: Guilford Publications
Rappaport, L. (2009). Focusing-oriented art therapy: Accessing the body’s wisdom and creative intelligence. London and Philadelphia: Jessica Kingsley Publishers
Rappaport, L. (2014). Mindfulness and the arts therapies: Theory and practice. Jessica Kingsley Publishers.

Tags mental health, mindfulness, We Thrive, We Thrive Consultancy and Wellbeing Services, wellbeing, wellbeing practices, wellbeing resources, wethrivewellbeing

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Calm, Connect and Cultivate towards More Effective Parenting

Post author By Ninin Sumpaico-Jose
Post date June 1, 2022
No Comments on Calm, Connect and Cultivate towards More Effective Parenting

As parents, we are fueled by what is best for our children. We want our children to
grow stable, well-adjusted and equipped with skills to survive, as well as thrive in life.

These lofty goals make parenting fulfilling and meaningful, and it is also no easy feat. There is the constant pressure to know how to provide and respond to the needs of our child at any given moment.
But let’s face it, we have moments when we wonder if what we’re doing is really what’s best for our children. We question our capacity to parent our children.

I can’t seem to pacify my child during a meltdown.

My child refuses to listen and follow what I say.

My teen doesn’t want to talk to me about anything.

I get so upset and angry with my child, it’s so frustrating.

In these situations, we usually try to manage our children’s behavior by using strong, hurtful words and punitive action.

If you don’t pack away your toys, no You Tube time this afternoon.

You’re going to get into a lot of trouble if you don’t finish your homework.

Stop acting like a baby, it’s not a big deal.

Because I said so.

We threaten, we bribe, we punish, we withdraw certain privileges in the hopes of getting our children to behave and comply. We become dismissive of our children. We take control of the situation with little
consideration or understanding what our kids might be going through.
Let’s take a moment to notice, if any of the scripts and strategies above have been effective or helpful in the long run? Most likely, no.
These may even serve to escalate the situation, to provide quick fixes until the unwanted behavior happens again, and to rupture relationships instead of our original parenting intention of long-lasting caring and raising our children well.

What can we as parents do?

What are more effective ways of dealing with children, especially during difficult and upsetting situations? What will work, what can be more helpful for parents and children to overcome tough moments

Dr. Dan Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson’s Whole Brain (2014) approach to parenting, offers a place to start. This perspective places emphasis on understanding the way the brain works and develops. The brain
shapes who we are and what we do. It has various components and functions that need to work together for us to achieve balance and integration.

Emphasis is further placed on how the brain’s capacity for integration is significantly shaped by experience.

The experiences and responses parents provide, lay the foundation for children’s development towards stability, independence and resilience. With appropriate supports, we help our children improve decision-making and problem-solving, have better control of their body and emotions and strengthen themselves and their relationships.

Are these not some of the very things we want for our children, to find success in various aspects of life and development?

The 3 C’s towards Effective Parenting

How can this be achieved?

The 3 C’s of Calm, Connect and Cultivate can serve as a quick guide.

Developing the skill and practice to Calm, Connect and Cultivate, underscore the importance of being attuned to our child in the middle of chaos and conflict. Developing regulation and co-regulation skills
can help improve the ways we relate with our children, especially during tough situations –when your child kicks, screams, refuses to listen, refuses to respond, when your child is inconsolable.

1. CALM

We cannot calm our child when we are not calm ourselves.

It truly is easier said than done, but it can be done with practice, patience and intention! Self-regulation can become our parent superpower when we are mindful of our current feelings and reactions during stressful situations, and aware of our own thoughts and beliefs about the behavior of our children.

When we learn how to self-soothe and bring about a state of calm, we create a space to recognize that difficult behaviors are cues which tell us that children are having a tough time. Children may experience
big feelings which they may not necessarily recognize or have the skills yet to deal with more effectively. So they act up and act all sorts of out of control. If we meet their frustration with our own, the situation escalates as emotions go unchecked and unvalidated, and behaviors become more difficult to manage.

Pause and take a breath

Taking a few moments to pause, breathing in and out allows us to calm
feelings and to step back from a triggering situation and potentially intense emotions. It also models behavior that we can cultivate in children when they are going through a tough time.

Self-affirming statements

Self-soothing statements can also be effective as it builds an awareness to one’s current state. Words of affirmation such as, “My feelings are valid,” or “I can’t control how I feel, and I can control how I respond,” or “I am doing my best at this moment,” convey messages that build
self-compassion and self-kindness. It affirms the intentionality of supporting and connecting with our children. There are a myriad of statements, and it is about choosing powerful statements that calms and build toughness too.

Self-soothing activities

There are many other ways to pause and self-soothe to prepare yourself to connect with your child. These depend on what works and what is available to you. Simple activities like taking a short walk, listening to music, playing with a pet, writing or drawing in a journal are some examples.

Think before you speak

Training oneself to take pause and being mindful of the words we say builds a practice of regulating the self and controlling impulses. Take pause to think if your words are helpful and supportive of your child, or if it conveys validation and support. Thinking before speaking implies taking pause and bring the calm in to make better decisions about what and how to communicate and connect.

Practicing these regularly not only during stressful times, strengthen the mind and the body to respond to difficult situations in a more mindful way. We become less reactive when we are calm. The ability to
self-regulate builds our patience to take pause and wait for our children to be ready to engage. Being calm and staying calm then allows us to connect.

2. CONNECT

The warm and responsive interactions between parents and children especially during moments of stress and chaos and conflict, are opportunities for children to learn to understand and modulate their thoughts, feelings and behavior. When a parent feels calm, connection with their children can follow as both parent and child strive to reach states of calm. A child learns to respond instead of react when the parent models this and teaches the child regulation skills, when the child is good and ready.

A parent who takes a non-reactive, non-threatening stance allows the child to feel seen and heard, to regain a sense of control to listen and to make more thoughtful decisions of responding and behaving more effectively.

Give affection

During a meltdown, a child is so overcome with emotion and can feel threatened and unsafe with the intensity of their feelings. A warm hug, gentle stroking of the hair or a soft back rub can give children a sensory experience to ground them in the present, a space to recognize difficulties currently encountered. This allows discovery of their ability to recover. A parent’s calm supportive presence even without words sends the message that you are there for your child when he or she needs you most.

Speak in a soothing, calm voice

Speaking in a low and slow voice similarly helps soothe a child, allowing the child to feel intense negative emotions, and to sit with the discomfort as you the parent hold a space of trust and comfort.

HALT

Staying with your child (while in a Calm state) allows you to assess the function of the behavior. Some of these functions include Hunger, Anger, Loneliness and Tiredness. Decoding the particular trigger and function of behavior facilitates a more appropriate response thereby building skills and character.

Actively listen to your child

This strategy involves mirroring what a child tells you and conveying back to your child the meaning as well as the content of what was said. This gives a child the sense that his or her feelings and thoughts are valid and that you the parent recognize these.

Validate and emphatize

Statements like, “Don’t worry about it,” or “Just relax,” or “You’re just tired,” may seem harmless but they are actually dismissive and serve to invalidate and minimize the experience and feelings of the child, without us noticing it. Similarly, statements like “Just do it again,” or “Just stop crying, it’s not a big deal” gloss over the challenges that children are facing, indirectly telling them that it’s not okay to feel the way that they do in that moment.

Statements of validation and empathy that reflect what the child is feeling and going through, are empowering for a child and helps them be ready and open to engage and communicate further. When done successfully, this can open more spaces to connect and cultivate ways to teach and support children to respond to feelings and situations more mindfully.

There are many different ways of connecting with the child in times of chaos and distress, and it’s about finding which are most helpful for you as a parent, for your particular child and what response or strategy would be appropriate at the given moment.

3. CULTIVATE

The suggested strategies for calming and connecting outlined above can be helpful if it is cultivated. It is discovering and building practices to nurture and protect the parent-child relationship. Learning how to calm and connect will help ease the process of teaching children to be reflective, to learn skills and gain insight on themselves in relation to others, and to figure out how they can respond better to those around them. We cultivate practice to become more intentional in responding to our children – building nurturing relationships with them, inspired by connection and teaching with care and compassion.

It is also important to remember to cultivate practice in the everyday moments. Our lives are filled with the small day to day moments, that provide rich ground to parent our children most effectively. A gentle word, a comforting hug, and the many other ways we choose to nurture and connect with our children are opportunities to shape our relationship with them, and to equip them with skills that will help them live with kindness, intention and resilience.

References:

Rosanbalm, K. D., & Murray, D. W. (2018). Co-regulation from birth through young adulthood: A practice brief. Duke University, 1-10.

Siegel, D. J., & Bryson, T. P. (2014). No-drama discipline: The whole brain way to calm the chaos and nurture your child’s developing mind. Bantam Dell Publishing Group.

Siegel, E. D., & Bryson, T. P. (2011). The whole brain child: 12 revolutionary strategies to nurture your child’s developing mind. Scribe Publications Pty Ltd.

Tags co-regulation, Dr. Dan Siegel, Global Day of Parents, mental health, No Drama Discipline, parent-child relationship, parenting, The Whole Brain Child, Tina Payne Bryson, validation, We Thrive, We Thrive Consultancy and Wellbeing Services, We Thrive Inc, wellbeing, wellbeing practices, wellbeing resources, wethrivewellbeing

Blog Everyday Thriving Restorative Practices Wellbeing Practices

Is My Pet Bringing Me More Joy?

Post author By Sandra Perfecto
Post date April 11, 2022
No Comments on Is My Pet Bringing Me More Joy?

I’ve always been a huge animal lover- I’ve had almost every type of pet imaginable,
from cats, dogs, hamsters, birds, and to something as exotic as an iguana. I can’t imagine my life without them and I really value what they have brought and taught me in life. Did you know that even our scientist Sigmund Freud had a favorite dog who never left his side even when doing therapy! Jofi was a chow that people were used to seeing in Freud’s office and “Freud claimed that he never needed to look at his watch during a session, as when Jofi got up and yawned it meant that the allotted hour was over. She was never late.” Essentially Freud became an animal lover himself!

Freud and Jofi in Vienna, 1931 (Photo credit: Freud Museum London)

Anna and Sigmund Freud with Wolf (Photo credit: National Purebred Dog Day)

How my pet affects my life

I had a roommate from college who was diagnosed with major depressive disorder, and living with her, I saw how much she struggled getting out of bed, going to classes, eating, and trying to get herself out of the room. A year after our freshman year, her father got her a dog and his name was Hershey! Hershey was the cutest thing ever, he
was a miniature poodle who loved to socialize and to play. After my roommate adopted Hershey, I slowly saw her more outside her room hanging out with me and our other friends. How due to Hershey she was taking more walks outside, even though there are days where she struggled to go on those walks, in the end the strolls with Hershey
definitely lifted her mood after! I lived with my roommate for 4 years and I was able to see a dog like Hershey be able to support and to save my roommate’s life making her realize that life is worth living!

Research says that having the companionship of a pet really does have positive effects on our bodies. Pets are able to support humans through reducing stress, depression, anxiety, and loneliness.

“Studies have demonstrated a reduction in cortisol, a hormone associated with stress level, as well as systolic and diastolic blood pressure following interaction with a therapy animal”
Animal-Assisted Therapy as a Complementary Intervention for
Mindfulness-Based Therapies (Atherton, Dunbar Jr. & Baker)

They are beneficial to cardiovascular health because they naturally advocate exercise and play! The animal- human bond is undeniable!

“Caring for an animal can help children become more secure and active as they grow older. Pets can also provide older adults with much-needed companionship. But, maybe most importantly, a pet can provide you with true joy and unconditional love.”
The Health and Mood-Boosting Benefits of Pets (Helpguide.org)

Wouldn’t knowing this will want you to go and get a pet right away!

But definitely before you get your loving companion, please do some research first and talk with other professionals in the pet stores or animal shelters to find out which animal is best for you to adopt- but even if you are not able to adopt a pet, having some animal interaction will also help you!

I came across a study that was titled “Pets and Happiness: Examining the Association between Pet Ownership and Wellbeing.” One part of the study is that they compared the well-being of pet owners to non-pet owners through a questionnaire and found that there was not much difference in the results in terms of well-being and personality, “Pet owners were higher in satisfaction with life than non-owners, but the two groups did not differ in happiness, positive emotions, or negative emotions.” One of the factors was that individuals are considerably more elated when they initially adopt their pet, and as time passes, they gradually return to their “baseline” well-being, which is known as hedonic
adaptation. That grabbed my attention because I never thought of it that way! The article says that “It is possible that this cognitive part of well-being is more resistant to adaptation since pet owners still consider their relationship with their pet when rating their overall life satisfaction, but the pet has little effect on their actual, day-to-day experience of emotions.” I recall being ecstatic when I first adopted my puppy—of course, I am still extremely happy when I see my furry friend but I have now become accustomed to having them in my life and they have now become my new reality—a joyful norm.

This flowchart explains the phenomenon of hedonic adaptation- how we all get what we desire and after a while we go back to our “baseline level of affect.” (Photo credit: Productive Club)

I was also not expecting the results of this study to find very little difference in terms of happiness; I was expecting a significant difference—actually, I was expecting dramatic results because my dogs make me the happiest!

What can my pet and I do?

After doing some research about pets and wellbeing, it made me wonder what my dogs and I can do for each other to be able to enhance our wellbeing, especially during this pandemic where we spend most of our time at home with nothing much to do. According
to the article “Dog tales: mindful dog interactions evoke similar experiences to dog assisted mindfulness meditations” the study looked at the feasibility and effectiveness of two six-week interventions that dog owners can conduct with their pets in the safety and comfort of their own homes, with the goal of improving both parties’ well-being. “Qualitative results supported that “the owner feeling happiness/enjoyment and relaxation/calm while completing the task, as well as feeling a sense of engagement and/or focus while completing the task, and enhanced emotional/spiritual connection with their dogs.” We can really see the positive effects of the intervention on the
participants!

To answer the question of what you and your pet can do, here is a mindfulness exercise that you can try together!

Observe the animal that you are with, what do they look like? Look at the different parts of the animal and carefully notice every aspect of him/her
Listen to the sounds that it makes, does it make a sound?
Are you able to touch your animal? If you are able to, how does it feel?
If you are doing an activity together, how does your movement compare to the animal?

Sources:

Animal-assisted therapy as a complementary intervention for mindfulness … (n.d.). Retrieved April 30, 2022, from https://www.counseling.org/docs/default-source/vistas/assisted-therapy-complementary-intervention
Jackson-Grossblat, A., Carbonell, N., & Waite, D. (2016). The Therapeutic Effects Upon Dog Owners Who Interact With Their Dogs in a Mindful Way. Journal of Humanistic Psychology, 56(2), 144–170. https://doi.org/10.1177/0022167814559390
Katherine Jacobs Bao & George Schreer (2016) Pets and Happiness: Examining the Association between Pet Ownership and Wellbeing, Anthrozoös, 29:2, 283-296, DOI: 10.1080/08927936.2016.1152721
Potkier , et al. “Practice Mindfulness with Animals.” Mindful Methods For Life, 5 Sept. 2019, https://mindfulmethodsforlife.com/practice-mindfulness-with-animals/.
The Health and Mood-Boosting Benefits of Pets – HelpGuide.org. (2022). Retrieved 30 April 2022, from https://www.helpguide.org/articles/mental-health/mood- boosting-power-ofdogs.htm#:~:text=Pets%2C%20especially%20dogs%20and%20cats,valuable%20companionship%20for%20older%20adults.

Tags mental health, mindfulness, National Pet Day, pet ownership and wellbeing, pets and mental health, pets and wellbeing, We Thrive Inc, wellbeing, wellbeing practices, wellbeing resources, wethrivewellbeing

Blog Everyday Thriving

Making Space for Me: Gifting Ourselves with a Deep Reset this Holiday Season

Post author By Dr. Joanna Herrera
Post date December 21, 2021
No Comments on Making Space for Me: Gifting Ourselves with a Deep Reset this Holiday Season

We bade 2020 with a jubilant good-bye perhaps not realizing how 2021 would present even greater challenges and disruptions in our fight against Covid-19. Those of us who continued to work from home have struggled with blurred work-life boundaries, leading to stress and exhaustion, for some even burnout. We had to endure another year of limited face-to-face contact with our friends and co-workers, which has led to deeper feelings of isolation and loneliness. Parents working from home have to make it through the daily hurdles of managing family life along with increased work demands. A Harvard Business Review survey among 1500 workers in 46 countries found that 85% reported a decline in their general wellbeing since the start of Covid-19. Survey respondents cited mental health decline, increased job demands, basic physical needs, home-life struggles, and isolation, and disengagement from work as some of the top contributors to this drop in wellbeing. In light of these pressing realities, self-care practice has become a daily necessity in order to facilitate stress recovery and prevent physical and mental illness.

As the year ends and we begin to down-shift into the holiday season, we should not lose sight of the opportunity we have to pause and provide ourselves the space and time for a deep reset. Many of us have probably become all too familiar with living on overdrive and powering through to get things done. We want to be a person that others can rely on, to be seen as competent, and make a significant contribution to the endeavors we are a part of. However, neglecting our need for replenishment, not taking our wellbeing seriously, can work against our aspirations to grow and thrive. We can ask ourselves, do I just want to keep my motor going frantically on high speed until my tank runs empty and breaks down, or can I drive at a safe speed and allow myself moments of stopping and filling-up so that I can enjoy the ride? The choice is ours to make. And as we contemplate on this question, we can take inspiration from beloved poet, Mary Oliver, reminding us of what it means “to go easy” on ourselves.

When I am Among the Trees
Mary Oliver
When I am among the trees,
especially the willows and the honey locust,
equally the beech, the oaks and the pines,
they give off such hints of gladness.
I would almost say that they save me, and daily.
I am so distant from the hope of myself,
in which I have goodness, and discernment,
and never hurry through the world
but walk slowly, and bow often.
Around me the trees stir in their leaves
and call out, “Stay awhile.”
The light flows from their branches.
And they call again, “It’s simple,” they say,
“and you too have come
into the world to do this, to go easy, to be filled
with light, and to shine.”

Going easy on ourselves does not mean complacency and not taking responsibility. It means making space for Me to connect with my best self, with the goodness and light that allows us to give from the wise and compassionate center that is in each one of us. It is not only for ourselves that we need to go easy. It is also for the people we love and care about because constantly hurrying through the world makes it impossible for us to truly pay attention and be present.

Author and meditation teacher, Larry Ward, said, “We need to design our life so we can wake-up.” Making space for Me this holiday break and beyond means making time in our life to “walk among trees”—that is, to experience the voluntary simplicity of slow and quiet moments that are so essential to the process of growing and becoming whole. We can design our life so that we can wake up from the trance of getting stuck with mindless doing. This holiday season, we can give ourselves the gift of a deep reset, fostering recovery and healing for our mind, body, and spirit so that we can step into the next year feeling renewed from the inside out.

Ways to Get Into a Deep Reset this Holiday Break

1. Unplug

Give yourself at least a few days to completely unplug from work. Stow-away your laptop, turn off notifications on your devices, and give yourself a break from incessantly checking text messages. Our habits of constant busyness and stimulation can tax our nervous systems, leading to chronic stress. Unplugging means stepping out of the stress reactivity cycle, giving ourselves room to rest and restore our energy.

2. Play

According to Irish playwright George Bernard Shaw, “We don’t stop playing because we grow old, we grow old because we stop playing.” Play is a very rejuvenating experience that needs to be part of our life regardless of age. Being in play mode fosters the nervous system’s relaxation response and allows us to release emotional and physical tension. Engaging in play cultivates our creativity, which includes the ability to see new perspectives or approach problems from a unique angle. We can play by making time to fully enjoy a hobby, doing something that doesn’t require “efforting”, or jumping into having fun with others and letting go of worries even for a moment.

3. Connect

Human beings are hard-wired for connection. Experiencing positive and meaningful connection both with ourselves and others is deeply restorative. This holiday break, make time for attentive and warm conversations, plan to have ample time to be with a loved one or someone whose presence gives you joy, connect with nature by taking a quiet walk or hike in a place where you can enjoy nature views.

4. Reflect

The practice of reflecting is a way of looking into ourselves and our experiences from a place of genuine curiosity, openness, and kindness. It’s not about picking on our mistakes or hyper-focusing on our weaknesses. Reflecting can be our way of inviting ourselves into a space of gratefulness, stopping to appreciate all the conditions of happiness that are in our life that we tend to lose sight of when we are too busy. It can also mean allowing ourselves to quiet our minds to be clearer about what truly matters to us. We can reflect by journaling, reading books or listening to podcasts that inspire and deepen our hope, and by participating in online retreats.

Tags mental health, We Thrive, We Thrive Consultancy and Wellbeing Services, We Thrive Inc, wellbeing, wellbeing practices, wellbeing resources, wethrivewellbeing